Nothing Can You Do

On the way to Brisbane via plane, I was listening to Mike Bickle's CD on "Sacrificing and Paying the Price to Endure the Boring, Mad God in Prayer" (for another day) on my laptop. I was sitting next to quite a lot of people. I was using headphones because the plane was a little noisy.

About 45 minutes of the CD, I took my earphones off for a break. To my surprise, I realized that taking off the earphones made no difference to the sound, and what had really happened was that the headphones weren't really plugged in, so I was playing the CD on full blast, so much that I could even hear it with headphones on.

So I laughed within because I knew that even if anybody else had found it weird, they could have done nothing about it.

Characteristics Of My Ideal Girl

This post is inevitable.

My dad told me a while ago that I probably don't even know what type of girl I'd like/want/need. I disagreed with him then, but today, I am beginning to realize what he meant by that comment.

I won't mention any characteristics that are either given or obvious. Otherwise my top 10 would be filled with useless qualities such as: gentle, kind, can understand me or "has more hair than me" type.

So here's my top ten:

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1. Loves God - more than loves me
When she loves God more than she loves me, she will love me more compared to if she loves me more than she loves God. The word 'more' is relative. I find a girl, who loves God with a passion, to be ++x on hot and XxX. It would take my mind for a spin, to see a girl like that.

2. Smaller than me in size
Both height and width.

3. Is a housewife
I'd like to her to be able to take care of all the things a man cannot. And it's not that the man does not want to take care of certain things, it's just that the man simply does not have the ability to. She will look very sweet when she works to takes care of the house.

4. Understands sacrifice and sacrifices
She will know the meaning of sacrifice. She will not live everyday for herself, but instead she will live for other people. By doing so, she will find great joy, and I will be proud of her. She will sacrifice for the right causes.

5. Submissive
For a unit to work, there must be a leader within the unit. God chose the man to lead and to love, and the woman to follow and to love.

6. Sticky
I'd like her to favour the sense "touch", that is, likes to touch and likes to be touched, likes to hold hands and likes to be hugged. Preferably not in an overt, big action way. Preferably in a reserved-desire kind of way.

7. Appears and walks like an Angel
This quality speaks of the girl's physical appearance, as well as the inner beauty 内涵 that shines out from within. To qualify for this characteristic, she would also qualify for the description "nice" - which basically means gentle, soft, angelic, and not easily angered/flustered/annoyed. Those qualities are very attractive to me.

8. Optimistic in every way
A positive person, who can turn a bad situation into a good one, just by using her positive attitude. I dislike negative thinking a lot. Certainly wouldn't want to live with a girl who thinks negatively.

9. Wise
This was the only major characteristic change from about 4 years ago when I created my ideal girl list. The characteristic I had was the opposite of wise, which was dumb, except I didn't use that word. The change came about when I realized that I would have a lot of trouble communicating with a girl who wasn't smart (EQ wise at least), and I'd like the decisions she makes to be made with a high standard of wisdom.

10. Networker of people
I'd like her to be able to, and enjoy being among people. She can be quiet at times, but she will love to meet and get to know people. Her warmness will draw people to her, and I will be proud of her because she will be my wife.

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If you have observed, while the list is not in order, if a girl satisfies #1, most of the other characteristics should also be covered.

The above top 10 characteristics are subject to change. There are other qualities in a girl I look for, such as: has Chinese cultural background, believes in the power of belief, and semi-sporty, and these may or may not be equally important.

My father tells me often to go to more places to see more girls. Then I will have a better idea of what type of girl I should want to go after.

At this point, I am after the "top 10 characteristics of my ideal man" from the perspective of the girl that I am after. That is, if I can, locate her.

The Mind of a Giver

Proverbs tells us that "as [one] thinks in his heart, so is he."
I believe in this literally.

And now I understand why Proverbs 11:24 tells us this:
"One man gives freely, yet gains even more;
another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty."

a) When a man gives freely, he either (1) believes that blessings will come to him as a result of the act of giving, and/or (2) expects to possess a whole lot more in the future.

b) Conversely, a man who withholds unduly, will either (1) believe that nothing good can ever come out of giving, and/or (2) has already planned out exactly how much he will earn for the rest of his life, and any amount given will be the amount subtracted from the savings of his entire life.

Applied to both situations --> "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." The most inner thoughts and beliefs of the heart, is what can change a person's life!

I know of a particular man.
One night the particular man was approached by a middle-aged woman, who asked him for spare change to help out with renting basic accommodation for the night.
The man was not rich. His most significant source of income was not even enough to cover the rent.
To the request, the man thought for a brief moment. He reached into his pocket to take out two $50 bills and placed them in the lady's hands. The lady was more stunned than surprised. The man walked away. But stopped a few steps later.

He turned around and said: "Do you know why I want to give you $100 tonight?"
The lady responded: "You're a kind man."
"Far from it," the man replied and he paused.

"It's because I'm going to be a millionaire."

This is My Life - Revised and Extended

Tonight I have invited the people I like and chose not to invite the people I don’t like. A few weeks ago, I was very distressed over a lot of things that are to take place today. But one day, somebody told me, that it is my 21st, so I can do whatever I like. Thank you to that person in this room. So if you find or have already found something weird about tonight - I did it.

My speech is titled: “This is My Life”. And I want to share with you a highlight or two from some years of my life, and it should give you a better idea of how and why I am the person I am today.

So, starting from…

Three years old, 1990 - My mum told me the story of when I was in 1st year kindergarten. On this first day, I was holding on to my mum, after she signed me up for class. She told me that it would be okay, the teacher would look after me. It was my first day of school and I was very afraid. I was afraid of people. She pushed me into the class and sat with me for a while. Then she said that she quietly snuck away out of sight to see how I would cope. I was doing quite well, but a while later, I ran out of the room looking for my mum, and I was crying. My mum hid behind a bush and watched me cry. Her heart was for her boy to learn independence. She did not come out, but cried silently as she watched my heartbreak sobbing. She came out eventually, and I was very broken. She said: "Hao la hao la, ma ma zai zhe li. Ni wei shen me ku?" (Ok ok, mummy is here. Why do you cry?) Still choking on my tears, I said: "Yin wei lao shi tai chou(3) le..." (because the teacher is too ugly). "Oh is that the case," said my mum. "Na lai, wo men huan ban." (then come, we switch class) She took a peek inside, said a few words and took me to a new class. And I never saw that female teacher again.

Four years old, 1991 - One day, my dad's sister came over to our house in Taiwan with her husband to sit on our wooden couches. I didn't know what adults do when they were together - I just knew that adults like to "eh eh eh lai wo jia zuo yi zuo" (come to my house to sit). Back then, there was no such thing as "guests are here so I go back to my room" because there was nothing to do in my room - we simply hung around our parents all the time. And when our parents sat on wooden couches to talk to the guests for more than 15 minutes, we were bored. I observed that the uncle had his glasses on the glass table. So, I took it, put it in the case and hid it under the wooden couches. The adults were so engrossed in the talking that they had hardly noticed our movements, but when it was time to leave, the uncle couldn't find his glasses. They looked and looked and finally traced the culprit back to me, because I probably looked like I was finding it funny. My dad forced me to give it back, and asked me why I stole. I took the case from under the wooden couch and gave it to the uncle. That day the uncle told me off firmly but gently, and it had such an impact, that I never thought about stealing again.

Five years old, 1992 – One of my early memories of my life was spending time at my grandma’s house, in the countryside of Taiwan. Houses in that area used to have an open drainage/sewer at the front of the house, a bit like a moat for a castle. And the drainage at some points along the street was closed, and at some points was opened. What amused me, was that once in a while, a fat goose would appear from the left opening of the drainage and float past grandma’s house and enter into the right opening of the drainage. My brother and I were so fascinated, and always had ideas of using sticks and other items to block the goose from floating away, so that we could prevent it from disappearing into the hole. I believe this is how I came to love animals, especially those big and huggable ones.

Six years old, 1993 – In my early years, my mum did a lot for me, in the form of sending me to all types of classes. I remember going to swimming classes, karate classes, music classes, and there was a particular class, which cost X times more than all the others – it was the English class and was taught by an American woman, therefore it is expensive and must be good, thought my mum. But how wrong she was… For the first few lessons, I often looked around the class, and I saw, Susie, Joe, Nathan all sitting around me. And I realized that I did not have an English name. So I told my mum, and the next time she came to pick me up after English class, my mum said to the teacher: “Can you give my son a name?” The teacher said: “Yes good point. I’ll think about that and tell you next time.” Next time came, and she said to my mum: “I think I like the name… Keegan.” My mum said: “Keegan?” The teacher said: “Yes”. When my mum said: “Is that a good or popular name?” the teacher said: “Yes in fact I know a lot of Keegans back in the US.” So actually, Keegan is my real name.

Seven years old, 1994 – The year I moved to Melbourne, Australia. One day a pastor of a church approached my mum especially, and had a few quiet words with her, while I was at a distance. I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but after they had finished talking, the lady came up to me and said: “Your name is now Samuel. You shall not be called Keegan ever again.” And I never saw her ever again. And I thank her so much today, because my life would have been totally ruined if she did not step in to help an innocent me out on that day.

Eight years old – grade 2 – 1995 – One day, my mum was telling a friend that my English had improved a lot since coming to Australia. The friend was impressed, so when we were leaving their house, she came up to me to ask me about some English. She said in Chinese: “This word I have trouble with.” And she wrote it on a small whiteboard “a-c-c-i-d-e-n-t”. She asked: “How to say that? Some friend tell me there is ‘c’ that sound like ‘acc’. I am confused.” And I accidentally said: there is no ‘c’ sound, because both the ‘c’s are silent. “It is ‘assident’” I said, and she said: “Oh oh oh oh...assident…” And I never saw her again.

Nine years old – grade 3 - 1996 – By this time, I had already spent one year in primary school. I was very shy. I remember I once had to do a presentation on chain saws. On the platform in front of everybody, my legs were shaking, and so were my hands, that I couldn’t hold the presentation poster up properly. And the teacher had to say: “Speak a bit louder please” so many times until she was so fed up and said: “Samuel we can’t hear you! Open your mouth!” In those days, I didn’t talk much. Once I wanted to play with some of my classmates in the newly built playground, but they said: “If you want to play with us, you have to talk.” That wasn’t okay with me so I didn’t talk, and they left me to sit by myself.

Eleven years old – grade 5 – 1998 – This was the year that I felt especially tall and big. In fact I was the tallest in the class. Whenever I went up to take strike for T-ball, I would hear murmurs of: “Oh no it’s Sam, get back, get back.” And if Eugene was up here it would be: “It…it can’t be.” I was very dedicated to my sport in grade 5. Once, I was playing dodge ball on the asphalt. I was being chased by someone with the ball, so I ran as fast as I could to the bali safe zone, but running by itself wouldn’t have been fast enough – at the last moment, I had to jump and I jumped and landed horizontally into the safe zone. I was safe, but my right elbow was bleeding badly. This was the first time I had personally experienced… people crowding around me to ask: “Are you okay?” Which was a bad question to ask, because firstly, there were about 20 people asking the same question, and secondly, ‘no I’m not okay’, what are you going to do about it? So the teacher helps me onto my feet and says: “So… do you think you can get to the sick bay um…by yourself?” And I did – probably because I didn’t have any friends. In the same year, I met a guy who had just moved to my primary school. His name was Dominic. I don’t know how I became friends with him, but it was just probably because I was shy and he was new. One thing that made it easy to talk to Dominic was his humour. I remember a few jokes that he had and one specifically was the way he imitated Asians, especially the Chinese storekeeper lady in the local milk bar. He once said to me that I ought to be thankful to him because he was the one who made me talk. To think about it, it makes some sense.

Thirteen years old – year 7 – 2000 – This was the year that I began to take an interest in girls but I was still very, very shy. I could only talk to the very shy and ‘less’ good-looking girls, or if they were half my size, it would be easier too. But the problem was that I was shortsighted, and I did not like to wear glasses, because I thought it looked really bad on me, so I couldn’t really see any of the girls anyway.

Fourteen years old – year 8 – 2001 – I was at the optometrist for my half-yearly check-up. And the optometrist said that my eyes were getting worse. So my mum said to the optometrist in Chinese: “Ahh na ying gai zen me ban?” Which means, “Then, what is next??” The optometrist said fobbily: “No worry, just tell him to wear the contact lenses.” And she did. And from then on, my eyes were open. School was a completely different world to what I had known. This was the year that I saw a unique girl at school. She was quiet and shy, but her walk was majestic. Every time we walked past each other in the tight corridors it was in slow motion – for me. It was one of those times where even if she comes to slap me in the face, it would feel quite alright. I still remember the feeling when her eyes looked into mine - all those corridor experiences. It was like a silver spear shooting straight into my heart. I remember hiding under an arts desk with a friend while talking about who we liked. At that time, we could have talked non-stop about the topic, because we both held the other's secret. One time he said to me: "Samuel if you like her so much, you really should go tell her." I did not act, and I do not regret.

Fifteen years old – year 9 – 2002 – At the start of the year I was depressed – stoned, my classmates told me. One day in class I was staring at the ceiling and I saw the girl (from the year before)’s initials on the ledge floating, and I stared. And that was the time Mr. James yelled out at me: “Wake up Sam, you’ve been doing that for the past 15 minutes, and stop leaning your head on your arms. Stop being so pathetic!” At that time, I just felt that the school gender could have been more balanced. It wasn't that I needed girls to survive, but it was just that there was a lack of certain cultural aspects in the school, as a result of a shortage of girls.

Sixteen years old – year 10 – 2003 – There was a critical moment in this year, and it happened just before recess at 10:00am. There were some announcements about sport, and at the end, the announcer announced a final call for lawn bowlers to go to T4 at recess. At first I was reluctant to go. Although I was looking for a sports team to join, could I take myself to sink as low as lawn bowls? So I asked Jason to come with me, he did, the meeting had about 4 people, but it indeed was a life changing experience. Year 10 was also the year that Michael Yang gave me free massages all year when he actually thought that he was "inflicting pain" upon my hands. Love it.

Year 11, nothing happened.
Year 12, nothing happened.

Uni 1^st year, nothing happened.

And for the rest of my life, it is too current to share with you all.
If you’re still around, I’ll share them with you at my 50th (edit: wedding).

I’d like to thank my mum for sending me to a multitude of classes per year even up to year 9, as well as doing all the daily things, and other stuff for me.

I’d like to thank my dad, who believes in me, in what I can do, and who is proud of his son. And that is enough for me to do what he requires of me.

And thanks to my brother Abe for being a great older brother in doing things unparallel to what a younger brother could do for him. Whatever that might mean.

This is My Life. I am the Sam. I am 21, I am single and I am not looking. Thank you very much.

"I Guess" II

Welcome to I Guess I Guess I Guess Guess Guess II. Same rules apply. It won't be as easy as last time.

1. Futures

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When I was in grade 2, I lived behind my church. So on some Sundays, people would come to my house after the service.

There were a few of us small boys, and there were two girls, one of whom was called Katie. I don't remember if we liked her at that time, but because she was a girl, we weren't supposed to like her very much. She was a loudish girl, who always liked to be the pretty princess, and enjoyed hearing her mum's stories about how she would be able to go on a horse date with a handsome prince, if she kept up her manners.

When the people came over to my house, the boys always played computer games, primarily a game called Duke Nukem, a 2D game with levels and bosses. There would be a time during the game, when the gaming atmosphere became tense, because we know that a super boss would come jumping out without warning, or a discernable pattern of entry. Abe gave the super boss a name, and this is how it happened.

While fighting the boss.
Abe: "Hey...it's...Katie's future..."
Nicky: "What? Katie's future??"
Abe: "Ha-ha-ha-ha."
Nicky: "Oh yeah, it sort of does look like her..."

Of course it didn't, but small boys always like to tell girls about how ugly they are right? And this was not just ugly; this was, robotic, stiff-jumping (like a kangaroo), square, metallic, makes weird machine noises, unhuman-like, a pain in the butt, an obstacle to life, plus all the bad descriptions, and most significantly, shockingly SCARY.

From that day onwards, that boss character received the name "Katie's Future". As kids concentrating on finishing a game of Duke Nukem, the name "Katie's Future" would fly in fly out, sound in sound out, and it came to a point when it wasn't even funny anymore, because we were so serious on completing the game.

But now that I think of it, it makes me laugh. It makes me wonder how our English became so capable to have thought of such a name to describe someone, to predict someone's future in two words, and to use these two words in a context as an adjective and a noun. Oh, I haven't seen Katie for 9+ years now. I wonder what she is like, now.
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As for my future, I have a blurry-clear picture of what I will be doing. I will enjoy what I do and I may be overseas at times. But, as for now, I enjoy all the time by myself, vegetating in my own world, which mind you does do a lot of good.

2. Economic Implications

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I found it hard to connect to anyone in my economics tutorial last semester. Talking to people was fine, but without the connection at a good emotional level, talking became empty.

It was until... one normal tutorial, a girl, who looked of Chinese descent, and didn't usually attend our tutorial walked in, and sat on the table next to mine. I didn't pay much attention to her, until the tutor told me to move to the next table because he wanted to make even groups.

And there I was, sitting in front of the new girl. I didn't really look at her, and she didn't really look at me. The point of making groups of about 4 was so that we can discuss the economics questions, and formulate the answer as a group. But in reality, when the tutor says: "Okay, now break into your groups and discuss among yourselves the answers to (a)", everyone silently grabs a worksheet and a pen, reads the question with their heads down, and after a while starts putting pen to paper without even saying hello to their own group members! Come on, you're in uni here.

After our time of 'discussion among ourselves', the tutor started to explain the first question - firm theory. I somehow had an urge to ask a question about some of the theory, and as I raised my hand, the new girl also raised her hand to ask a question.

The tutor saw her hand first, so he said to her: "Your question first."
I looked at the girl as she spoke: "I'm just wondering whether elasticity of demand would change if quantity increased?"
As I watched her speak those words, the words floated in my mind: "Would...elasticity of demand change if quantity..." and her voice and lip movement played back in my head as I stared at her. Her accent was half-canadian, she didn't seem like she was wearing makeup, but her skin was shining, and her eyes were about 3-4mm wider apart than the average, which made her very distinguishable among a group of people. For the next 10 seconds, my senses were fixed on her, and that was not under my control.

Suddenly, the tutor said: "Yes Sam, your question?"
And I said: "...yeah, would...elasticity of demand change if quantity...increase?"
The tutor expressed amusement with his face and hands, and said: "I just explained that."
To my surprise nobody in the class laughed, or expressed acknowledgement of my dumb mistake, because I figured afterwards that it was economics. I could tell that the girl knew why I had asked the same question that she had asked, and she felt uneasy to be facing me for the entire lesson. A mistake.

After the incident, I had still made no connections, and therefore, every class after that was to me, the same.
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3. Phone crook

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I received a call from a Chinese lady one morning. She said that she was from some Hong Kong International Olympic Committee, and asked me if I was going back to China for the opening ceremony later on this year. I told her no.

Then she ask me: "Xian sheng na ni ke zhi dao (Sir would you happen to know) ... the winner of the 400m gold medallist for 2004?"

I said no. So she said: "Ahh? Bu zhi dao ah? (what? you don't know?)"

Then she asked: "Then do you know the event that China, historically is best at?"

I said no. Because I didn't know. "Ni zhen de bu zhi dao ah? (You really don't know?). Ni shi zhong guo ren ni ying gai zhi dao. (You are Chinese, you should know.)"
"Wo bu shi zhong guo ren. (I'm not Chinese)."
"Ah-ha-ha... shi ma? (that so?)"

Then she asked me: "Do you know what date the opening ceremony of the 2008 Oympics will be held?"

I said no (it was a long while back!).
"Ni bu zhi dao?!?..."
"Bu zhi dao."
Then I heard her laughter a distance away from the phone receiver. A frustrated laughter.

She said: "Ok, congratulations, you have been selected by our office to enter a special Olympics draw. Would you like to enter this competition? You don't have to be in China to receive the prize."
"Yes-s-s... ok... that is fine with me."
A few other unimportant things she said to me, then we hung up.

Very suspicious. I figured later on that she was trying to ask a normal communist question that ordinary Chinese would know the answer to. And once they tell the answer, she would say something like: "Gong xi ni, ni zai san ti nei da dui yin ci huo de quan li can jia wo men de chou jiang. (Congratulations, you answered correctly within three questions thus you are awarded with the opportunity to be included in our competition.)" This was to make the opportunity seem more real.

BUT. For a person like me who didn't know any of the answers (which she probably had not encountered during the entire week of calling that she had done), it seemed like she was just asking random questions before asking for permission to enter me into the "competition".

True enough, four weeks later, the lady with the same polite voice called back and said: "Xian sheng, do you remember four weeks ago [bla bla bla]...? Well you won, fei chang gong xi ni oh."
And I said: "Oh, hao hao, bu cuo."
"Ni zhong le gang bi $860,000 (You won HKD worth $860,000)."
When she started asking for my bank details, I told her to give the money to somebody else.

Even if the lady was telling the truth, which she wasn't...

I would not have wanted to receive an amount of money that I did not earn by the investments of my own hand, otherwise the free money would be a stumbling block for the future investments that I will make with my own hands.

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That is all. You may take a pick 1, 2, or 3.

Is it just me or...

... are the Springvale Safeway's shelves stacked like an Asian grocery?


(I would show you a photo, but that would detract from your personal experience)

My House Rules

GREENSBORO, N.C. (Sept. 19, 2007) — Company X, a Greensboro based product brokerage and Internet marketing company specializing in One-to-One marketing, today announced the promotion of Rick to president of Company X. Williams has been with Company X for 11 years and previously was Vice President of Corporate Services and Administration.

"Rick's dedication to Company X over the past 11 years and the role he has played in our growth both domestically and internationally is significant," said Marc Ashley, Company X's chief operating officer. "Company X has been in operation since 2002 and Rick is the perfect person to guide our growing sales in the country and to ensure that our..."

Basically what that's saying is that Rick is a pretty super profile guy.
Here is a profile picture of Rick:

And here is a picture of Rick at our house one afternoon giving a talk:


I couldn't resist taking photos of him in action, of his aura from many years of toast masters training, and of his... footwear.


This was supposed to be a formal event. So I really don't know what to make out of this happening. Or how it happened, I don't know.

But I guess it's just one of those things that happens at our house.

Isn't She Lovely?

How lovely.



(with permission, of course)

King River

One night i asked God for an inspiration for wealth, for i believe that i have been called into the ministry of business, that my wealth not be used for worldly pleasures, but for the purposes of God's kingdom on earth. Success - not by my strength, but truly by the power of God. I said to God, may it begin now, to let the small wealth that i have, not be used for myself, but for the benefit of others.

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On the same night, I was walking east along flinders street in the city to meet up with some people. As i was about to walk past federation square, a small asian man, carrying a small waist bag, approached me and said: "Excuse me, i'm very sorry." (x 4-5) He had a story to tell, so i shifted onto the side of the footpath to hear him speak. He said that he had lost his wallet, along with all his money and identification, and he cannot withdraw from the bank. . He told me that he was originally from queensland, and now....
"I am from cairn-river, not cairns in queensland!"
"What? Is that up where queensland is?"
"Nonono, it is cairn-river." Every time he said 'cairn' of cairn-river, it sounded like a noise a cat scratch would make. Emphasize the c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c.
"Nonono, it is cairn-river, on the border of victoria and new south wales. 600km away from here." He must have said that about 5 times that night. The reason was because i kept on asking where it was.
He said that he'd been in the city for almost two weeks, since a part of the comedy festival. And he went to coles a few times to buy cheap food. He said that when he ask people for assistance, they would ignore him, or be rude to him, or even chase him. I could understand why, because his mongolian english was not very understandable, and neither was his intention.

After 5 minutes of talking to him, i asked in a polite manner: "So what is it that you want again?"
"Excuse me i'm sorry. I need to buy bus ticket to get to cairn-river. It cost $X, and i need to get back. Can you please help me?" Probably what had been happening is that people have been giving this man money in little pieces, that in order to survive, he has to use the money to buy food, and in doing so, his bus ticket money goes down. His name is simon.

I had asked for wealth about 30 minutes ago. A strong feeling came onto me that this was God's test. Analysis: another reason why people had supposedly chased this man is because he looked dodgy. He gave a few pieces of suspicious information, such as he had stayed in the city for two weeks, and that he cannot contact his wife etc. But i could not convince myself that a man in his early 50's would make a living out of telling such a complicated lie. My intuition told me that this man was 85% lying, and 15% telling the truth; of the 85%, 60% he was in real need of money, but the reason was too absurd so he made up a less absurd reason, and 40% he was outright conning people with outlandish and confusing tales. So at least there was an element of goodness of him within my intuition. So I took out my wallet and gave him $x. And i looked him in the eye and said: "Use the money wisely." Only to protect myself from looking stupid, because if he was a conman, he might take the hint from me that i was only feeling sorry for him for begging on the street.

I don't think it mattered whether he was a conman or not, because i believed i had passed the test. 'There is one who scatters, yet increases more; and there is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty' OR 'One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty'. Just because someone is generous towards someone who had tricked them into giving, doesn't mean that God will withhold his blessings. I believe, because it is the heart that matters.

'Regret' was my word for the 10 minutes i spent talking to the man and it was on my heart the whole night. It was not because i had given $x, but it was because i could have done a lot more with the man than i did. How did i forget? What. was i thinking?

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I could have done a lot. I could have 1) given him my mobile number and told him to contact me when he reaches home, that way i will know whether i was jibbed or not; 2) walked him to the bus station...; 3) ask him if it was alright if i could stand next to him while he asked people for money, to increase his credibility, it would be quite funny to hear him explain his stories again and again; 4) walk around the city with him and ask people if they could kindly donate to a man in need, and i wouldn't mind doing that because im not the one who is begging for the mercy, plus, if people start chasing the man, i would have a good time chasing those low-quality people; 5) stalk him....

While on a medium-paced walk, having finished talking to the man just a minute ago, my thoughts suddenly came together, and my steps came to a diminuendo. I was in a hurry. Back to the place where i had met a man, and further, to the intersection of swanston and flinders. There weren't many people around, but they were clumped together at the crossings, . I peered down the three directions. 1 > 2 >.... 3. But i saw no sign of simon. I took a final punt, and inquired further into one of the directions. I was too late. I knew that finding him would have been better than doing whatever i was doing in the city that night.

Later on i found out. King river, was the name. I was so curious to know.

to esszek: i will complete yoo-ur post.

Susan Susen

I'M SO HAPPY!
I'M SO HAPPY!

OKAY, SZK (esszek), i have some great photos of you.
At the moment, i don't know what to write about you, but i can predict quite a lot because whenever i see your photo, i laugh.

Before i met you, i very much knew how you were going to greet me. It was going to be:
"Haloo my name is... Su-Zhen (quick and staccato) ... yah..." Su-hwei told me that.

And hwei also told me that 'i miss her so much, she is so funny'.
I asked hwei: 'Does she do funny things in public?' I asked because somebody gave me a photo of you posing in front of a shop in malaysia, as she does.
So the hwei said: 'Yes, sometimes...but she's really shy around new people.' And she said that when she meets new people, she always uses that super-standard intro line in conjunction with a shoulder shrug, and a slow reaching out of her hand, which gives a fishy shake. And the shy grin on her face is just SO HYSTERICALLY FUNNY. I have a good time mimicking yooo (!)

Once hwei said: 'Oh my sister is so funny, sometimes she lies down on her bed and SINGS!'

And this is how you got to know me:

[image url=http://photobucket.com/uploader/cxujkk3842/img/COMICTOCOME.jpg>

I cannot pinpoint exactly what is so funny about you.
[But some of the main features i personally find funny are:

- the way you stand. i think is because you are quite tall, so, though you know how to stand, your legs don't know where to go.
- the way you roll your eyes.
- your long eye lashes (they are huge OKAY?)
- the way you blink (because your lashes go all the way down and up again)
- the way you say "no". You say it like "nooOoOoOO<<<!"

Just in case you never realized, this is what i notice when you were next to me. don't get self-conscious now, esszak. ]

* The following need to be on your DO THIS NOW list (updated regularly):
- Send Sam a voice recording of his favourite words.


hyp.

I Guess, I Guess

One of the most popular tv shows in taiwan nowadays is 'Wo Cai Wo Cai Wo Cai Cai Cai' literally translated 'I Guess, I Guess, I Guess Guess Guess'. And one of the main activities that goes on in that show is: the show invites 3 guests who are odd in some manner. For example, an old lady basketball machine champion, a rough looking man who is into ballad dancing, or even a nerdy tertiary student who receives grants to make horror films. Basically their occupation or hobby usually does not match the way they first appear. Then, after a short interview on the show with the host, the celebrities on the show are to guess which one
of the three guests are bogus. And they usually get it wrong, because the picking of the guests and their talents, and the ordering of the interviews are very strategic.

Well now, let us play 'I Guess, I Guess I Guess Guess Guess'!

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(1)

I used to wear hats a lot. Wherever I went, I always used to have a hat in my bag. I never wore it for the weather; it was just the thing to do.

One day, i was at a camp at Phillip Island. It was one of my first camps i've ever been to, and it was very exciting. One of the most exciting activities we played was canoeing, where we canoed into a still part of the ocean. The weather was rough that day, and as i was in the front end happily rowing with my dad at the back, the wind came and took my chicago bulls cap into the water behind me. I plunged into a spin, and i lunged out with my oar to brush back my cap towards me. At that moment, my dad stopped my oar with his hands. I looked at him and he said: "Shi qu yi ding mao zi, jiu suan le ba. Jiu rang ta qu ba." (Lose a hat is no big deal, just let it go.) I listened to my dad, I didn't argue with him, and I stopped my struggle.

It was just like one of those scene, where the son is set to fly to a foreign country for a certain reason. The father and mother go to send their son off at the airport. On the way, there the mother reminds the son of all the safety precautions along the way and who to call when there is trouble, and the father just tells him how proud he is of his son. It comes to the time, at the airport terminal gates, when firstly the father hugs, then the mother hugs, then the son says his final goodbye and walks slowly toward those doors. As the music increases in volume, the mother's eye starts to tear. The father feels her heart, holds her left hand with his, and slings his right arm around her shoulders. The mother has nothing other to say, except for the love in her eyes.

I watched my hat go just like that. I was only small at that time and all i knew was that my chicago bulls hat had followed me for a long time. At that time, no other hat could replace. And eversince that day, I had not worn a hat again.

For a limited time only - now I am over it. Except that now i don't have any hats to wear. Why don't you buy me one, and it will remind me of you.

[GONG~]

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(2)

I went to a good friend's house for dinner one night. I usually don't like to turn down invitations, for one, i am not anxious of uncertain circumstances and for two, i have skin thick enough to accept any body's generosity. At the door, I knew who was going to be in the house at that particular time. I took a deep breath and sighed.

As I walked inside the house, I greeted the host, and heard clunking of dishes in the kitchen. As i slowly walked toward the kitchen, i had an image of her with her back towards me in my mind. Sure enough as i stepped through the door, she looked very much the same to what i imagined her to look. She must had heard my footsteps. She turned around to greet me with a few preliminary conversations. That was the first time i had ever talked to her.

I did a lot of things that night. Most of the people there I had not known. And most of the people i had known i had not really known. But to cut the long story to the point:

As we moved into our tired nights, and that 'i will go if you go' rut, somebody finally stood up and started a chain reaction of leavers. It was then, as we moved out slowly from the sofas, that i stood behind that girl and i sighed to myself a silent sigh equivalent to: 'oh my goodness'. That night was the first time i had seen that girl for 7 years; she had 'chong xian jiang hu'[ed]. To be more accurate on my previous statements, that night was the first time i had heard her speak. But her voice was also what i imagined it to be - warm and gentle. I'd never known a girl with such a presence. Even from 7 years ago, the way she held her books with her arms straight, sticking tightly to her body and walked in comfortable silence, with two friends beside her. And I would be walking past her in the corridor not knowing what to do with my eyes. These were still frames in my mind. This presence i cannot describe, but the best word in my vocabulary is respect. I tested myself with the hand holding test, where she, in my imagination asked me to hold her hand. I did, and i crumbled or in more realistic terms, my heart was in for a wringing, like the feeling of two hands wringing a wet towel dry. That night, I ran out of things to talk to her about really fast. And i could tell that she remembered me from 7 years ago, though we had never spoken a word to each other face to face.

Many years ago, i would walk home everyday carrying a bag full of books under the sizzling sun for up to half an hour (because my brother claims that i take a rest half way). At my door, i would be quite out of my mind but my animated conscience would prance up to me and say: "if you knew that you would be able to see a short glimpse of her again if you walk right now 10 times the distance you just walked, would you walk?" I said yes most of the time.

Many years ago, on a holiday along the great ocean road, my dad and i stood on a rock overlooking the twelve apostles. He put his arms around me and said: "na... ni xian zai you mei you xi huan shei?" (do you like somebody now?) It was probably the first time he'd ever asked that question. And i said: "yes." Then his eyes peered to the left and the right, and the conversation stopped there. Now my dad asks me the question on a regular basis.

I had not been looking for her, and now she is back. So now is the time to block her out. I really stand on no ground to have an interest in her, because i really know very little about her. And for that very little, i take no interest.

[GONG~]

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(3)

I remember the time i had a fight with a football lover in grade 6. I had gotten really mad at the guy, and i did not know how to control my emotions. So at the time, i was punching and kicking and crying in the sand pit as our friends pulled us away from each other. Ever since, i had not involved myself in a fight.

So ever since, i had been itching for a fight. And the perfect opportunity arrived, when the details of the annual melbourne high school taekwondo competition were finalized. After reading the requirements, i was extremely pleased, because firstly the classes were by height, and i was 169, and the fighting style was: any - as long as there was no grappling or sweeping. I was ecstatic, because i did not know a bit of taekwondo. And here was my opportunity for a free license to fight to my heart's content.

It was listed on the fixture that i was to be up against 'fat chan'. A few friends came to tell me the terrible news. Terrible, because 'fat chan' was good. I would say that he more powerful than fat, and at the same time a fighter. I didn't know what to expect, and while i was practicing my kicks someone came up to advise me on fat chan's jump kick, which was his most powerful kick, and probably his KO hit, and possibly the only move he has. The time came 15 minutes before the competition that i realized that we needed protection to enter the competition. I found somebody and borrowed their mouth guard and box just in time, as I was called to the arena, where up to a hundred pairs of eyes were looking at me. The referee grappled me into my place on the mat, we bowed, and the 'fight' chop was given.

At first I didn't know what to do, because I'd never fought this style before. Taekwondo is supposed to be a kicking sport. But score can be obtained via effective arm strikes. We circled for a while until fat chan came at me with some body sticking. What is body sticking? It simply happens when two inexperienced fighters get into a spar, and throw all the technique out the window, and eventually are just slapping each other's bodies. Among the turmoil, fat chan's hands thrusted out to create some space between us and backed a step. I saw it in his eyes that his single move KO was coming on. And when it did, it was so quick - it was a shriek, then a high jump, finished with a right-legged thump. It had me all over the place within half a second. And i was down. Not because he connected at all, but because i knew that the referee would not allow players to hit somebody who was down, and i took the time to rest for one second. It had only been a matter of seconds since the beginning of the fight, and my energy had already been muchly drained. It was the nerves, the heavy breathing and all the shifty movements that i performed. I longed to fall over over and over again so that i could have some more rest.

But now, the time had come. I turned my eyes to a group of two friends on the side bench and i nodded. They nodded back, but before i could communicate my full message, the referee was standing over me telling me to get back up or else i forfeit. No no, couldn't do that. I chose to stand up - very slowly.

As I began to stand up, the music faded in. It was jay chow's 'shuang jie gun' live. I knew the song, and i knew that the intro was the time for me to 'recharge'. The music was turned on quite soft, and most people wouldn't have made it out, but i knew the song, and the song was just loud enough for it to burn inside me. A lot of faces turned to where the music was coming from, but most of the eyes eventually fixed on the spar, so no one bothered to interfere. When it hit the verse, I felt a flame in my heart as energy returned to my lungs. I plodded a few steps forward and went where the music took me. For every fast rhythm, my arms pounded like machine guns, and for every exclaimed pause, it was a lunge. At that point in time, i felt that i held utmost advantage, because only i had known the song, and my opponent's moves just did not fit the song; he was all over the place by the day's standards. By the chorus, there wasn't too much left in me, but the wonder and satisfaction of fighting with the music spurred me on. The 'ha!' twice a chorus was the killer. I didn't have to turn my head toward the cd player to know that each time my two friends were banking on the 'ha's with their strong body language. The variety of combos available to me on that day were incredible. I look back on it today and i revise all my moves, to see how it could defeat a taller and stronger opponent. I won the round by 1 point. I had defeated fat chan.

This is the power of music. I learned about it a few years back, through a chinese production with the famous actor 'sun yue'. He acted a scene where he had to put down his love - his beautiful, loyal dog with a stick because the dog was slowly dying in pain after getting hit from saving the actor from a motorbike accident. He acted the scene with no music, and yet the emotion that was expressed, touched. The reason why the director chose to have no music was probably to show the expression of sun yue, that to touch, requires no music. I don't know if you've tried muting a romantic walk in the park with leaves blowing and cameras panning, a horror movie at its climax, or a touching reflection. But without music, it is likely not going to move you in any way. I took this knowledge into the competition, and foresaw it to work powerfully - it had power to influence the body, and to harden the mind.

I love to watch tv series where good guys see bad guys do bad stuff in public, and the good guys cannot bear leave it alone. I always wish in real life that i was the good guy. Because that is one of the few occasions where i can have a free hit. I am a boy. I do itch for it.

[GONG~]

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Two stories are of truth and the other one has a slight tweak of the truth.
Are you ready to play I Guess, I Guess, I Guess Guess Guess?