On the second last day of tour, i asked a friend: "do you think you'll cry tomorrow?" I asked her because she seemed like a girl with stability and strength. She answered: "ru guo ni bu ku, ni jiu bu shi ren!" (if you don't cry, then you're not worthy to be a person!) An unexpected answer. I was expecting a more gentle response, on the lines of: "yes i would, you?" I cry every now and then for easy causes, but i have never cried for friendship matters. Am i not a person?
On the last day of tour, i walked to the dining hall by myself and sat down at a table. There weren't many people having breakfast at that time because everyone was too out from the night before. A slow and feelingful pop song was playing in the background. No one on the table was speaking. I reached forward to take some fried-egg with my chopsticks and my friend opened his mouth for the first time: "ni hai hao ba?" (are you okay?) At that moment, the feelingful background music jumped from the pre-chorus to the chorus, and a warm patch of water welled up around my eyes. I lowered, then nodded my head as i fed the piece of egg into my mouth. Chewing, chewing, chewing, i just couldn't take it anymore. I left the table in an interruption and walked into the toilets. There, i had a quiet time to myself. From then on, whenever i saw somebody, i would have the urge to run into the toilets. Because they would be crying too. Though i never saw anyone else in the toilets each time i visited. Men have muscles big and strong, but what can you do in such physically intangible situations? You can only cry.
The 21 day tour had seemed to me a lifetime, not because it was boring, but because during the tour, my life had flashed before me. Suppose that a person can live 84 years, and that the person knows his own lifespan.
On the first to second day (1-8*), i was a bit unsure. About the people i would meet, the friends i would make, and the places i will go etc.
During the next 4 days (9-24), the fun began. I was meeting new and awesome people and each event/activity/occurrence seemed fresh and exciting. And it seemed like forever until the end of the tour, so we that we still had plenty of time to get to know each other as well as the girls we were interested in.
From the seventh day to the eleventh day (25-44), the friendships i have made had become well-established. Though the routines were getting a little repetitive, the meals we had discovered were all pretty much the same, and the many-starred hotels we'd stayed in had very much lost their novelty.
From the fifteenth to the last day (61-84), the heaviness had hit us. We were already counting down the days that we had together. I wasn't as enthusiastic when it came to meeting new people, the competition between teams grew stale. People weren't as keen on taking photos at hot scenic spots because the atmosphere was just different. Laziness had set in. We were all thinking about how we were going to say good-bye on the last day. How sad.
What happened to the twelfth to the fourteenth (45-60)? Time flew away too fast, no one remembered.
Now that you know what is ahead of your life, please use it wisely. I didn't use my time as wise i should have, and i am grateful for a second chance at life.
The tour to me seemed a little free-for-all. From the surface, everyone seemed very nice to each other. But beneath the skin, there was conflict, jealousy, isolation, pain, backstabbing, and most obviously selfishness. Most people were there to make friends for themselves, show off to become popular, and give themselves the best time there possible. There was a love there, but it was a love of self, not of others. The bonding that had occurred, happened because people were growing their own circles of friendships, less because of anything else. I am very grateful to be in the body of christ. To cut it short, there is nothing we cannot solve when we are one because of christ. And the above four sentences spoken in negative light, we wouldn't need to have.
I have run out of time. I have enjoyed sharing with you all my experiences. Thanks for reading, it has been a pleasure writing this diary. I can see myself smiling when i arrive at the airport, carrying my luggage as i hobble along slowly. Actually i will already have a smile on my face on the plane in taiwan just as it is about to depart. Because i know that all things must pass, unless it is for eternity.
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