"I Guess" II

Welcome to I Guess I Guess I Guess Guess Guess II. Same rules apply. It won't be as easy as last time.

1. Futures

-----------------------------------------------------
When I was in grade 2, I lived behind my church. So on some Sundays, people would come to my house after the service.

There were a few of us small boys, and there were two girls, one of whom was called Katie. I don't remember if we liked her at that time, but because she was a girl, we weren't supposed to like her very much. She was a loudish girl, who always liked to be the pretty princess, and enjoyed hearing her mum's stories about how she would be able to go on a horse date with a handsome prince, if she kept up her manners.

When the people came over to my house, the boys always played computer games, primarily a game called Duke Nukem, a 2D game with levels and bosses. There would be a time during the game, when the gaming atmosphere became tense, because we know that a super boss would come jumping out without warning, or a discernable pattern of entry. Abe gave the super boss a name, and this is how it happened.

While fighting the boss.
Abe: "Hey...it's...Katie's future..."
Nicky: "What? Katie's future??"
Abe: "Ha-ha-ha-ha."
Nicky: "Oh yeah, it sort of does look like her..."

Of course it didn't, but small boys always like to tell girls about how ugly they are right? And this was not just ugly; this was, robotic, stiff-jumping (like a kangaroo), square, metallic, makes weird machine noises, unhuman-like, a pain in the butt, an obstacle to life, plus all the bad descriptions, and most significantly, shockingly SCARY.

From that day onwards, that boss character received the name "Katie's Future". As kids concentrating on finishing a game of Duke Nukem, the name "Katie's Future" would fly in fly out, sound in sound out, and it came to a point when it wasn't even funny anymore, because we were so serious on completing the game.

But now that I think of it, it makes me laugh. It makes me wonder how our English became so capable to have thought of such a name to describe someone, to predict someone's future in two words, and to use these two words in a context as an adjective and a noun. Oh, I haven't seen Katie for 9+ years now. I wonder what she is like, now.
-----------------------------------------------------

As for my future, I have a blurry-clear picture of what I will be doing. I will enjoy what I do and I may be overseas at times. But, as for now, I enjoy all the time by myself, vegetating in my own world, which mind you does do a lot of good.

2. Economic Implications

-----------------------------------------------------
I found it hard to connect to anyone in my economics tutorial last semester. Talking to people was fine, but without the connection at a good emotional level, talking became empty.

It was until... one normal tutorial, a girl, who looked of Chinese descent, and didn't usually attend our tutorial walked in, and sat on the table next to mine. I didn't pay much attention to her, until the tutor told me to move to the next table because he wanted to make even groups.

And there I was, sitting in front of the new girl. I didn't really look at her, and she didn't really look at me. The point of making groups of about 4 was so that we can discuss the economics questions, and formulate the answer as a group. But in reality, when the tutor says: "Okay, now break into your groups and discuss among yourselves the answers to (a)", everyone silently grabs a worksheet and a pen, reads the question with their heads down, and after a while starts putting pen to paper without even saying hello to their own group members! Come on, you're in uni here.

After our time of 'discussion among ourselves', the tutor started to explain the first question - firm theory. I somehow had an urge to ask a question about some of the theory, and as I raised my hand, the new girl also raised her hand to ask a question.

The tutor saw her hand first, so he said to her: "Your question first."
I looked at the girl as she spoke: "I'm just wondering whether elasticity of demand would change if quantity increased?"
As I watched her speak those words, the words floated in my mind: "Would...elasticity of demand change if quantity..." and her voice and lip movement played back in my head as I stared at her. Her accent was half-canadian, she didn't seem like she was wearing makeup, but her skin was shining, and her eyes were about 3-4mm wider apart than the average, which made her very distinguishable among a group of people. For the next 10 seconds, my senses were fixed on her, and that was not under my control.

Suddenly, the tutor said: "Yes Sam, your question?"
And I said: "...yeah, would...elasticity of demand change if quantity...increase?"
The tutor expressed amusement with his face and hands, and said: "I just explained that."
To my surprise nobody in the class laughed, or expressed acknowledgement of my dumb mistake, because I figured afterwards that it was economics. I could tell that the girl knew why I had asked the same question that she had asked, and she felt uneasy to be facing me for the entire lesson. A mistake.

After the incident, I had still made no connections, and therefore, every class after that was to me, the same.
-----------------------------------------------------

3. Phone crook

-----------------------------------------------------

I received a call from a Chinese lady one morning. She said that she was from some Hong Kong International Olympic Committee, and asked me if I was going back to China for the opening ceremony later on this year. I told her no.

Then she ask me: "Xian sheng na ni ke zhi dao (Sir would you happen to know) ... the winner of the 400m gold medallist for 2004?"

I said no. So she said: "Ahh? Bu zhi dao ah? (what? you don't know?)"

Then she asked: "Then do you know the event that China, historically is best at?"

I said no. Because I didn't know. "Ni zhen de bu zhi dao ah? (You really don't know?). Ni shi zhong guo ren ni ying gai zhi dao. (You are Chinese, you should know.)"
"Wo bu shi zhong guo ren. (I'm not Chinese)."
"Ah-ha-ha... shi ma? (that so?)"

Then she asked me: "Do you know what date the opening ceremony of the 2008 Oympics will be held?"

I said no (it was a long while back!).
"Ni bu zhi dao?!?..."
"Bu zhi dao."
Then I heard her laughter a distance away from the phone receiver. A frustrated laughter.

She said: "Ok, congratulations, you have been selected by our office to enter a special Olympics draw. Would you like to enter this competition? You don't have to be in China to receive the prize."
"Yes-s-s... ok... that is fine with me."
A few other unimportant things she said to me, then we hung up.

Very suspicious. I figured later on that she was trying to ask a normal communist question that ordinary Chinese would know the answer to. And once they tell the answer, she would say something like: "Gong xi ni, ni zai san ti nei da dui yin ci huo de quan li can jia wo men de chou jiang. (Congratulations, you answered correctly within three questions thus you are awarded with the opportunity to be included in our competition.)" This was to make the opportunity seem more real.

BUT. For a person like me who didn't know any of the answers (which she probably had not encountered during the entire week of calling that she had done), it seemed like she was just asking random questions before asking for permission to enter me into the "competition".

True enough, four weeks later, the lady with the same polite voice called back and said: "Xian sheng, do you remember four weeks ago [bla bla bla]...? Well you won, fei chang gong xi ni oh."
And I said: "Oh, hao hao, bu cuo."
"Ni zhong le gang bi $860,000 (You won HKD worth $860,000)."
When she started asking for my bank details, I told her to give the money to somebody else.

Even if the lady was telling the truth, which she wasn't...

I would not have wanted to receive an amount of money that I did not earn by the investments of my own hand, otherwise the free money would be a stumbling block for the future investments that I will make with my own hands.

-----------------------------------------------------

That is all. You may take a pick 1, 2, or 3.

Is it just me or...

... are the Springvale Safeway's shelves stacked like an Asian grocery?


(I would show you a photo, but that would detract from your personal experience)

My House Rules

GREENSBORO, N.C. (Sept. 19, 2007) — Company X, a Greensboro based product brokerage and Internet marketing company specializing in One-to-One marketing, today announced the promotion of Rick to president of Company X. Williams has been with Company X for 11 years and previously was Vice President of Corporate Services and Administration.

"Rick's dedication to Company X over the past 11 years and the role he has played in our growth both domestically and internationally is significant," said Marc Ashley, Company X's chief operating officer. "Company X has been in operation since 2002 and Rick is the perfect person to guide our growing sales in the country and to ensure that our..."

Basically what that's saying is that Rick is a pretty super profile guy.
Here is a profile picture of Rick:

And here is a picture of Rick at our house one afternoon giving a talk:


I couldn't resist taking photos of him in action, of his aura from many years of toast masters training, and of his... footwear.


This was supposed to be a formal event. So I really don't know what to make out of this happening. Or how it happened, I don't know.

But I guess it's just one of those things that happens at our house.

Isn't She Lovely?

How lovely.



(with permission, of course)

King River

One night i asked God for an inspiration for wealth, for i believe that i have been called into the ministry of business, that my wealth not be used for worldly pleasures, but for the purposes of God's kingdom on earth. Success - not by my strength, but truly by the power of God. I said to God, may it begin now, to let the small wealth that i have, not be used for myself, but for the benefit of others.

------------------------------------

On the same night, I was walking east along flinders street in the city to meet up with some people. As i was about to walk past federation square, a small asian man, carrying a small waist bag, approached me and said: "Excuse me, i'm very sorry." (x 4-5) He had a story to tell, so i shifted onto the side of the footpath to hear him speak. He said that he had lost his wallet, along with all his money and identification, and he cannot withdraw from the bank. . He told me that he was originally from queensland, and now....
"I am from cairn-river, not cairns in queensland!"
"What? Is that up where queensland is?"
"Nonono, it is cairn-river." Every time he said 'cairn' of cairn-river, it sounded like a noise a cat scratch would make. Emphasize the c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c.
"Nonono, it is cairn-river, on the border of victoria and new south wales. 600km away from here." He must have said that about 5 times that night. The reason was because i kept on asking where it was.
He said that he'd been in the city for almost two weeks, since a part of the comedy festival. And he went to coles a few times to buy cheap food. He said that when he ask people for assistance, they would ignore him, or be rude to him, or even chase him. I could understand why, because his mongolian english was not very understandable, and neither was his intention.

After 5 minutes of talking to him, i asked in a polite manner: "So what is it that you want again?"
"Excuse me i'm sorry. I need to buy bus ticket to get to cairn-river. It cost $X, and i need to get back. Can you please help me?" Probably what had been happening is that people have been giving this man money in little pieces, that in order to survive, he has to use the money to buy food, and in doing so, his bus ticket money goes down. His name is simon.

I had asked for wealth about 30 minutes ago. A strong feeling came onto me that this was God's test. Analysis: another reason why people had supposedly chased this man is because he looked dodgy. He gave a few pieces of suspicious information, such as he had stayed in the city for two weeks, and that he cannot contact his wife etc. But i could not convince myself that a man in his early 50's would make a living out of telling such a complicated lie. My intuition told me that this man was 85% lying, and 15% telling the truth; of the 85%, 60% he was in real need of money, but the reason was too absurd so he made up a less absurd reason, and 40% he was outright conning people with outlandish and confusing tales. So at least there was an element of goodness of him within my intuition. So I took out my wallet and gave him $x. And i looked him in the eye and said: "Use the money wisely." Only to protect myself from looking stupid, because if he was a conman, he might take the hint from me that i was only feeling sorry for him for begging on the street.

I don't think it mattered whether he was a conman or not, because i believed i had passed the test. 'There is one who scatters, yet increases more; and there is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty' OR 'One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty'. Just because someone is generous towards someone who had tricked them into giving, doesn't mean that God will withhold his blessings. I believe, because it is the heart that matters.

'Regret' was my word for the 10 minutes i spent talking to the man and it was on my heart the whole night. It was not because i had given $x, but it was because i could have done a lot more with the man than i did. How did i forget? What. was i thinking?

-------------------

I could have done a lot. I could have 1) given him my mobile number and told him to contact me when he reaches home, that way i will know whether i was jibbed or not; 2) walked him to the bus station...; 3) ask him if it was alright if i could stand next to him while he asked people for money, to increase his credibility, it would be quite funny to hear him explain his stories again and again; 4) walk around the city with him and ask people if they could kindly donate to a man in need, and i wouldn't mind doing that because im not the one who is begging for the mercy, plus, if people start chasing the man, i would have a good time chasing those low-quality people; 5) stalk him....

While on a medium-paced walk, having finished talking to the man just a minute ago, my thoughts suddenly came together, and my steps came to a diminuendo. I was in a hurry. Back to the place where i had met a man, and further, to the intersection of swanston and flinders. There weren't many people around, but they were clumped together at the crossings, . I peered down the three directions. 1 > 2 >.... 3. But i saw no sign of simon. I took a final punt, and inquired further into one of the directions. I was too late. I knew that finding him would have been better than doing whatever i was doing in the city that night.

Later on i found out. King river, was the name. I was so curious to know.

to esszek: i will complete yoo-ur post.

Susan Susen

I'M SO HAPPY!
I'M SO HAPPY!

OKAY, SZK (esszek), i have some great photos of you.
At the moment, i don't know what to write about you, but i can predict quite a lot because whenever i see your photo, i laugh.

Before i met you, i very much knew how you were going to greet me. It was going to be:
"Haloo my name is... Su-Zhen (quick and staccato) ... yah..." Su-hwei told me that.

And hwei also told me that 'i miss her so much, she is so funny'.
I asked hwei: 'Does she do funny things in public?' I asked because somebody gave me a photo of you posing in front of a shop in malaysia, as she does.
So the hwei said: 'Yes, sometimes...but she's really shy around new people.' And she said that when she meets new people, she always uses that super-standard intro line in conjunction with a shoulder shrug, and a slow reaching out of her hand, which gives a fishy shake. And the shy grin on her face is just SO HYSTERICALLY FUNNY. I have a good time mimicking yooo (!)

Once hwei said: 'Oh my sister is so funny, sometimes she lies down on her bed and SINGS!'

And this is how you got to know me:

[image url=http://photobucket.com/uploader/cxujkk3842/img/COMICTOCOME.jpg>

I cannot pinpoint exactly what is so funny about you.
[But some of the main features i personally find funny are:

- the way you stand. i think is because you are quite tall, so, though you know how to stand, your legs don't know where to go.
- the way you roll your eyes.
- your long eye lashes (they are huge OKAY?)
- the way you blink (because your lashes go all the way down and up again)
- the way you say "no". You say it like "nooOoOoOO<<<!"

Just in case you never realized, this is what i notice when you were next to me. don't get self-conscious now, esszak. ]

* The following need to be on your DO THIS NOW list (updated regularly):
- Send Sam a voice recording of his favourite words.


hyp.

I Guess, I Guess

One of the most popular tv shows in taiwan nowadays is 'Wo Cai Wo Cai Wo Cai Cai Cai' literally translated 'I Guess, I Guess, I Guess Guess Guess'. And one of the main activities that goes on in that show is: the show invites 3 guests who are odd in some manner. For example, an old lady basketball machine champion, a rough looking man who is into ballad dancing, or even a nerdy tertiary student who receives grants to make horror films. Basically their occupation or hobby usually does not match the way they first appear. Then, after a short interview on the show with the host, the celebrities on the show are to guess which one
of the three guests are bogus. And they usually get it wrong, because the picking of the guests and their talents, and the ordering of the interviews are very strategic.

Well now, let us play 'I Guess, I Guess I Guess Guess Guess'!

--------------------------------------------

(1)

I used to wear hats a lot. Wherever I went, I always used to have a hat in my bag. I never wore it for the weather; it was just the thing to do.

One day, i was at a camp at Phillip Island. It was one of my first camps i've ever been to, and it was very exciting. One of the most exciting activities we played was canoeing, where we canoed into a still part of the ocean. The weather was rough that day, and as i was in the front end happily rowing with my dad at the back, the wind came and took my chicago bulls cap into the water behind me. I plunged into a spin, and i lunged out with my oar to brush back my cap towards me. At that moment, my dad stopped my oar with his hands. I looked at him and he said: "Shi qu yi ding mao zi, jiu suan le ba. Jiu rang ta qu ba." (Lose a hat is no big deal, just let it go.) I listened to my dad, I didn't argue with him, and I stopped my struggle.

It was just like one of those scene, where the son is set to fly to a foreign country for a certain reason. The father and mother go to send their son off at the airport. On the way, there the mother reminds the son of all the safety precautions along the way and who to call when there is trouble, and the father just tells him how proud he is of his son. It comes to the time, at the airport terminal gates, when firstly the father hugs, then the mother hugs, then the son says his final goodbye and walks slowly toward those doors. As the music increases in volume, the mother's eye starts to tear. The father feels her heart, holds her left hand with his, and slings his right arm around her shoulders. The mother has nothing other to say, except for the love in her eyes.

I watched my hat go just like that. I was only small at that time and all i knew was that my chicago bulls hat had followed me for a long time. At that time, no other hat could replace. And eversince that day, I had not worn a hat again.

For a limited time only - now I am over it. Except that now i don't have any hats to wear. Why don't you buy me one, and it will remind me of you.

[GONG~]

-------------------------------------------

(2)

I went to a good friend's house for dinner one night. I usually don't like to turn down invitations, for one, i am not anxious of uncertain circumstances and for two, i have skin thick enough to accept any body's generosity. At the door, I knew who was going to be in the house at that particular time. I took a deep breath and sighed.

As I walked inside the house, I greeted the host, and heard clunking of dishes in the kitchen. As i slowly walked toward the kitchen, i had an image of her with her back towards me in my mind. Sure enough as i stepped through the door, she looked very much the same to what i imagined her to look. She must had heard my footsteps. She turned around to greet me with a few preliminary conversations. That was the first time i had ever talked to her.

I did a lot of things that night. Most of the people there I had not known. And most of the people i had known i had not really known. But to cut the long story to the point:

As we moved into our tired nights, and that 'i will go if you go' rut, somebody finally stood up and started a chain reaction of leavers. It was then, as we moved out slowly from the sofas, that i stood behind that girl and i sighed to myself a silent sigh equivalent to: 'oh my goodness'. That night was the first time i had seen that girl for 7 years; she had 'chong xian jiang hu'[ed]. To be more accurate on my previous statements, that night was the first time i had heard her speak. But her voice was also what i imagined it to be - warm and gentle. I'd never known a girl with such a presence. Even from 7 years ago, the way she held her books with her arms straight, sticking tightly to her body and walked in comfortable silence, with two friends beside her. And I would be walking past her in the corridor not knowing what to do with my eyes. These were still frames in my mind. This presence i cannot describe, but the best word in my vocabulary is respect. I tested myself with the hand holding test, where she, in my imagination asked me to hold her hand. I did, and i crumbled or in more realistic terms, my heart was in for a wringing, like the feeling of two hands wringing a wet towel dry. That night, I ran out of things to talk to her about really fast. And i could tell that she remembered me from 7 years ago, though we had never spoken a word to each other face to face.

Many years ago, i would walk home everyday carrying a bag full of books under the sizzling sun for up to half an hour (because my brother claims that i take a rest half way). At my door, i would be quite out of my mind but my animated conscience would prance up to me and say: "if you knew that you would be able to see a short glimpse of her again if you walk right now 10 times the distance you just walked, would you walk?" I said yes most of the time.

Many years ago, on a holiday along the great ocean road, my dad and i stood on a rock overlooking the twelve apostles. He put his arms around me and said: "na... ni xian zai you mei you xi huan shei?" (do you like somebody now?) It was probably the first time he'd ever asked that question. And i said: "yes." Then his eyes peered to the left and the right, and the conversation stopped there. Now my dad asks me the question on a regular basis.

I had not been looking for her, and now she is back. So now is the time to block her out. I really stand on no ground to have an interest in her, because i really know very little about her. And for that very little, i take no interest.

[GONG~]

-------------------------------------------

(3)

I remember the time i had a fight with a football lover in grade 6. I had gotten really mad at the guy, and i did not know how to control my emotions. So at the time, i was punching and kicking and crying in the sand pit as our friends pulled us away from each other. Ever since, i had not involved myself in a fight.

So ever since, i had been itching for a fight. And the perfect opportunity arrived, when the details of the annual melbourne high school taekwondo competition were finalized. After reading the requirements, i was extremely pleased, because firstly the classes were by height, and i was 169, and the fighting style was: any - as long as there was no grappling or sweeping. I was ecstatic, because i did not know a bit of taekwondo. And here was my opportunity for a free license to fight to my heart's content.

It was listed on the fixture that i was to be up against 'fat chan'. A few friends came to tell me the terrible news. Terrible, because 'fat chan' was good. I would say that he more powerful than fat, and at the same time a fighter. I didn't know what to expect, and while i was practicing my kicks someone came up to advise me on fat chan's jump kick, which was his most powerful kick, and probably his KO hit, and possibly the only move he has. The time came 15 minutes before the competition that i realized that we needed protection to enter the competition. I found somebody and borrowed their mouth guard and box just in time, as I was called to the arena, where up to a hundred pairs of eyes were looking at me. The referee grappled me into my place on the mat, we bowed, and the 'fight' chop was given.

At first I didn't know what to do, because I'd never fought this style before. Taekwondo is supposed to be a kicking sport. But score can be obtained via effective arm strikes. We circled for a while until fat chan came at me with some body sticking. What is body sticking? It simply happens when two inexperienced fighters get into a spar, and throw all the technique out the window, and eventually are just slapping each other's bodies. Among the turmoil, fat chan's hands thrusted out to create some space between us and backed a step. I saw it in his eyes that his single move KO was coming on. And when it did, it was so quick - it was a shriek, then a high jump, finished with a right-legged thump. It had me all over the place within half a second. And i was down. Not because he connected at all, but because i knew that the referee would not allow players to hit somebody who was down, and i took the time to rest for one second. It had only been a matter of seconds since the beginning of the fight, and my energy had already been muchly drained. It was the nerves, the heavy breathing and all the shifty movements that i performed. I longed to fall over over and over again so that i could have some more rest.

But now, the time had come. I turned my eyes to a group of two friends on the side bench and i nodded. They nodded back, but before i could communicate my full message, the referee was standing over me telling me to get back up or else i forfeit. No no, couldn't do that. I chose to stand up - very slowly.

As I began to stand up, the music faded in. It was jay chow's 'shuang jie gun' live. I knew the song, and i knew that the intro was the time for me to 'recharge'. The music was turned on quite soft, and most people wouldn't have made it out, but i knew the song, and the song was just loud enough for it to burn inside me. A lot of faces turned to where the music was coming from, but most of the eyes eventually fixed on the spar, so no one bothered to interfere. When it hit the verse, I felt a flame in my heart as energy returned to my lungs. I plodded a few steps forward and went where the music took me. For every fast rhythm, my arms pounded like machine guns, and for every exclaimed pause, it was a lunge. At that point in time, i felt that i held utmost advantage, because only i had known the song, and my opponent's moves just did not fit the song; he was all over the place by the day's standards. By the chorus, there wasn't too much left in me, but the wonder and satisfaction of fighting with the music spurred me on. The 'ha!' twice a chorus was the killer. I didn't have to turn my head toward the cd player to know that each time my two friends were banking on the 'ha's with their strong body language. The variety of combos available to me on that day were incredible. I look back on it today and i revise all my moves, to see how it could defeat a taller and stronger opponent. I won the round by 1 point. I had defeated fat chan.

This is the power of music. I learned about it a few years back, through a chinese production with the famous actor 'sun yue'. He acted a scene where he had to put down his love - his beautiful, loyal dog with a stick because the dog was slowly dying in pain after getting hit from saving the actor from a motorbike accident. He acted the scene with no music, and yet the emotion that was expressed, touched. The reason why the director chose to have no music was probably to show the expression of sun yue, that to touch, requires no music. I don't know if you've tried muting a romantic walk in the park with leaves blowing and cameras panning, a horror movie at its climax, or a touching reflection. But without music, it is likely not going to move you in any way. I took this knowledge into the competition, and foresaw it to work powerfully - it had power to influence the body, and to harden the mind.

I love to watch tv series where good guys see bad guys do bad stuff in public, and the good guys cannot bear leave it alone. I always wish in real life that i was the good guy. Because that is one of the few occasions where i can have a free hit. I am a boy. I do itch for it.

[GONG~]

-------------------------------------------

Two stories are of truth and the other one has a slight tweak of the truth.
Are you ready to play I Guess, I Guess, I Guess Guess Guess?