20. A New Level of Awareness

There is a type of people in this world called 'clean freak'. There is also another type of people in this world called 'neat freak'. In the home i live in today, there is a clean freak and there is a neat freak.

My mum is the clean freak. It is not to say that she loves to clean, it's just that she likes the things around her to be clean. She abide by the rule of 'if you can't see it, it can't hurt you', because she even uses environmentally friendly cleaners to rid all possibilities of uncleanliness - including the uncleanliness from normal dish washing liquids. And to satisfy her cleanliness, dish scrubbers must be made from environmentally friendly materials which are chemical free. Her current favourite is the sun-dried luffa (sponge gourd), which has a rough texture for scrubbing dirty dishes clean. Sometimes, her cleaning demands become so ridiculous that we engage in 'tongue battles' (she zhan), which are basically arguments, except i'd like to think that it is more sophisticated. In ancient china, when one arguer says a statement and a contestant challenges with an opposing statement that plays on the arguer's statement, a 'tongue battle' begins. The arguer would fire back words to attack the contestant, and the contestant would gentlemanly make use of the attack to convey his own message that rhymes, matches certain tones, possibly parodies, while at the same time counterattacks. The arguer would then crunch back with his own sets of plays of language and sophistication. So on and so forth, until a large crowd is gathered. My mum enjoys a sparring partner for what she does best.

My dad is the neat freak. It is not to say that he is not clean, it just means that he is especially fussy about tidiness. When he sees a sink full of dishes, he feels knots in his heart. But wait! Shouldn't a sink full of dirty dishes bother a clean freak? Yes it does, but it bothers a neat freak even more, because the dishes are not stacked neatly on the rack, and the fact that there is misplaced dirt on them, knots the heart even more. Conversely speaking, a neat freak would not mind rubbish - as long as it is placed in the correct spot e.g. at the left side of the desk, where it is labeled 'discarded papers'. A neat freak relies on order in his life to maintain his knotless heart. Before continuing with anything else, he must find the dropped rubber that has rolled under the fixed work desk and place it back into the pencil case, he must shelve his series of books in a particular order at a particular angle, straighten the painting to zero degree tilt etc. Most importantly, a neat freak must never waste. Even for the sake of saving. Although it is pouring heavily outside, my dad would still pour the vegetable washing water into the 'resources bucket'. I told him that in the past 3 seconds it rained enough on our lawn to fill 3000 of those buckets. He agreed with me, but to waste, he cannot.

I know a lot of people who have these traits, so you may be able to identify very well. Thus, i do should not be using the word 'freak'. However, after visiting and staying with my little uncle in taiwan for a few days, i can truly say that i had discovered a freak - a 'safety freak'.

Everywhere my little uncle goes, whether it is the house, the car or the office, he carries with him a few packet of wet wipers. He picked me up from the bus stop and the first thing he said to me was: "Yao bu yao ca shou? (Want to clean hands?)" He also said the same thing when i was getting out. He said the same thing when i was inside the house, and outside the house. All in all, he just kept saying it all day. Rumours has it that his family uses a box of tissues per day, and i add that 90% of the tissues is pulled out and used or distributed by him alone. This is safety via cleanliness.

Academic excellence in taiwan has much to do with university education as well as career prosperity. Little uncle knows this fact, so he does all he could to assist her daughter to the top of the class in all subjects. He really gets involved at the parent teacher interviews, sometimes makes his own appointments with teachers, and actively participates with in-class politics. He told me about the time when her daughter Ting Ting obtained an almost perfect score in her end of year test but she was still beaten to the top by the 'second smartest kid' in class. He said that it was an outrage, the 'second smartest kid' came first overall only because he scored a little higher in class tests, which are nothing compared to the big end of year test. His vivid and detailed descriptions of Ting Ting's classmates make it seem almost as though he comes to class to sit at the back just to 'check up' on the kids in the class. As the old proverb prescribes: "Know self, know else, win one hundred out of one hundred times."

I took this photo while in a zoo. During the 'sore leg' sitting break, he pulls out a social activities textbook so that they could revise for the upcoming social activities test together. This is safety via job security.

Little uncle has safety doubts/issues about a lot of people, as in people are plain not safe, especially when they are random. He says: "Ni zai che zhan ji ji ji de shi hou, yao ba bao bao na hao, qian bao fang zai li mian kou dai, xiao xin ni ji ji ji ji dong xi jiu bu jian le." ("When you squish squish squish, hold your bags close, put your wallet in safe place, in case you squish squish squish and come out with nothing." Also: "Ru guo kan dao you ren wang ni zhe bian zou, kan de guai guai de, xian duo kai la, ru guo hao xiang gen zhe ni de hua, ni jiu ke yi cha bu duo kai shi pao le." ("If you see someone walking towards you, and looks suspicious, try to avoid first, if he looks like he's following you, you should pretty much make a run for it.")

He wanted to show me exactly how dangerous taiwan can be. So he gave me a live demonstration while picking up his daughter from school. So, he walked with me through the front gate of the primary school and sure enough we were stopped by security guards.
"Dui bu qi, wai ren bu ke yi jin qv," (Sorry no outsiders allowed) said one of the four security guards.
"Wo shi jie xiao hai de," (I'm here to pick up my kid) said my uncle as he stopped to explain.
"Jie xiao hai ah?" (Pick up kid?) said the guard, now more relaxed. "Ha-ha, hen xin ku ho?" (tough work that.)
"Yes yes," said uncle. And we were through as easily as 'open sesame'. "Ni kan ni kan! Ren he ren dou ke yi zhang de xiang shi jie xiao hai de ah. Wo zhen de bu zhi dao na ji wei zai men kou gan ma" (See see, anybody can look like they have kids. I really don't know what these guards are doing at the gate) he aired to me. This is safety via paranoia.

These safety measures are not to be underestimated.

19. By the Power of a Glance

For the 21 days on tour, i felt like i was travelling in a live taiwanese drama. There were 188 tourists, half of whom were girls, most of whom came on tour to meet other people for their own reasons, and all of whom were taiwanese. We shared university dormitories, hotels, cabins, and much more, such that on the third day, it seemed as though we had known each other since forever. In addition, the oldest organizing authority on tour was only 26, so you could imagine all the boundary stretching and rule breaking temptations that add to the very essence of taiwanese drama. Plus, every corner you turn and every pillar you stand under, you'd find guys saying the line: "ni dao di xi huan shei ah?" (who do you like tell me come on) and "ni jue de na ge xiao mei zen yang?" (you think that little girl how about?) But the most key of word in this tour sub-culture is: "zheng mei" (standard girl). 'Standard' by the meaning of standardly good or typically pretty. It is as though the guys all see themselves as 'standard' guys so wouldn't accept anything below par 'standard'. So the time comes when the girls say that they're tired and want to go to sleep, and they go back to their own rooms. As soon as the guys' room door closes, all the guys would explode into mouthfuls such as: "you mei you kan dao XX chao zheng ah!" (did you see XX super standard!) Now you know, that's all we, shallow, superficial, guys talk about. Without girls, the guys would all be standing pieces of wood with two branches neatly by each side, no one would step one step out of his room, and i dare say that there would have only been about 10 people on the tour.

There is something unfathomable about glance exchanges with the opposite sex. I chose the words 'glance exchanges' because there would be nothing weird about a one way glance. The other party wouldn't know that somebody else is looking at them, therefore there is no power in the glance. There are three general reasons for glance exchanges 1) They are interested in you 2) They think you are interested in them 3) They think that you think that they are interested in you.

I was very careful in my live-in taiwanese drama to avoid those awkward glance exchanges, however inevitable it was. I didn't think it was very healthy to build a relationship upon the awkwardness, so i almost always tried to prevent it at all cost. The experience of glance exchanges can be described for both parties using the following analogy. It is as though two magnets are placed next to each other at an influencing distance, while the poles of the two individual magnets switch at random periods. Such that one moment, the magnets are being repelled by the force field one another, yet at the next moment, the magnets find themselves attracted to each other. Sometimes, glance exchangers are just like these magnets. They feel an almost tangible force field caused by the eyes of the other person, such that it is hard to look them in the eye. But at other times, their eyes just wander wander wander into the force field's epicentre. It is as though eyes have so much power, and perhaps that is a part of the reason why it is the window to the soul.

(The girl in the photo is angela who is one of those 'nice' girls and has not much to do with the contents of 19. By the Power of a Glance)

When i get into a glance exchange, i usually pretend that nothing is wrong, and view normally, just like the way i view normal girls - look them in the eye when they talk, watch them when they move, and rest my eyes on their faces when i go off into a daze. I do that, and they don't get any ideas. They don't even look back. But there is just something profound about pretending that a glance exchanger is a normal person, because it just doesn't work. It's just not the same. It's as though she has subscribed to my force field, and where my eyes move, i give off varying strengths of different forces. I cannot look at her as she may get ideas, yet i cannot not look at her as it would be unnatural. I cannot look at her for very long as it would turn into a stare, yet i cannot look at her for very short as it would reveal my discomfort. So finally, my eyes go wandering into a lovely daze and soon after, i find myself looking at that same girl, who at the same moment turns her face to catch my glance. And i say: "Goodness, not even in my day dream can i avoid her. Now she's sunk further into my power, and i further into hers."

Among the 188, there was one girl who to me, stood out from the rest. The rest means the rest of the girls i checked out, which was pretty much all of them. I could make a list of the reason as to why she stood out to me, but i only want to talk about one thing. It was her laugh. Her laugh really touched my heart. My dad taught me some time ago that, by the way a person laughs, you could tell whether a person was genuine or not genuine, simple or complex, innocent or manipulative, open or defensive. And watch out for those people who can't show genuine laughter, because those people, i deduced, think before they laugh. The reason for that, is because they are so full of motives themselves, that wherever they go, or whoever they meet, they naturally put up a shield to protect themselves against motives, which in actual fact are only their own medicines. Very dangerous people.

The word to sum up the quality of the laugh is the chinese word 'tian zhen', which means innocence but with more awareness and naivety but with more understanding. The qualities that derive from 'tian zhen' are genuineness, generosity and compassion. I saw those qualities in action, and i was attracted to all of them. The girl must have sensed my attraction, because i suddenly felt the magnetic force field controlling my eyes. Such that i was unable to lift my camera to add her picture into my dvd-full image collection. Such that before i turn the corner in the corridor i feel a repelling force from around the corner, which makes me turn and run. I made some wrong moves in that experience, but i'm glad i did so that i could be better next time. Now for all occasions in the past, I have never wanted to look for a relationship of any type. Because i believe that the time has not yet come.

[Picture for another day]

18. As Water Reflects an Image, So the Face Reflects the Heart 2

For the first few nights in taiwan, i lived at my second uncle house. This second uncle (EGZ), when placed next to Aunty L, is contrasted magnificently, especially in his style of welcoming guests. After my tour around the island, he, for some reason wanted me to go back to his place to live for a few more days. He called me on my mobile, and upon picking up, he said: "Wei yu-keng...(pause) lai jiao wo ying wen (come to teach me english)." This question had me frozen for words, as 'no' was not an option, since he had already hosted my stay for three nights. And it wasn't even a question, it was a statement.

EGZ has three daughters, two of whom don't welcome guests. At their house, because EGZ has no sons, i was treated more like a son, than a guest. I had a funny feeling on the second day that the reason he invited me back was to have another go at experiencing the feeling of having a son. So, what is the difference between a guest and a son? A guest has the influence to squeeze the host's family members into other bedrooms, the entitlement to touch anything on any shelf, and the right to request the host for help at any time. A son, has all of the above privileges, except he has to help out with house chores and does not receive financial aid. EGZ bought a sim card for me, but asked me to pay for it myself. The aunty and EGZ were rather inconsiderate, not in a bad way, but in a family type way, and asked me to help with making dinner and odd jobs.

For all the inconsiderate things this family did, there were reasons to back it up. Most significantly, it was because their financial situation wasn't very strong. So, when it came to welcoming guests, it was all about the heart. In this family, though two out of five don't talk, i still felt the warmth in the way they paid much attention to me, and how they involved me in family activities. One day, EGZ took me to check out a christian bookstore, which was probably the least worldly place in the entire city. After browsing for a while, i saw him pay for an item at the counter. He turned his head to look at me, adjusted the item in his hand and walked towards me with a smile.
"Song gei ni de (this is for you)," he said.
I reached out and palmed the gift in my hands. It was a desktop christian tree trunk with a message clip mounted to it. It would have costed less than 100 dollars or $4 australian.
"Xi huan ma? (do you like it?)," he asked. His smile broadened and it was broader by the second. I also smiled, but before i had a chance to give a proper reply, he had already broken out into a super boss laugh: "Haaaa haaaa haaaa haaaa! Wo jiu zhi dao ni hui xi huan (i just knew you would like it)." He said good-bye to the storekeeper and whistled loudly out the door. I don't know how much money he had in his pocket that day, but if it had been 100 dollars, he 1) would've had a tricky time selecting the gift, and 2) would've been a very joyful man as he whistled out the door that day.

In the very end, it was all about the heart. EGZ could have bought me a present for 10 dollars and took me to view road-side chinese calligraphy, and Aunty L could have invited all her friends over to watch me eat 'ginger female duck'. That doesn't matter. The present would still have been lovely, the calligraphy an interesting new experience, and the ginger duck, or more like Aunty L's hospitality, would have all the same struck home.

These two men, and a lot of other candidates running for a seat in the taipei government, had posters plastered everywhere in taipei during pre-election times. The man on the right somehow does not look proper enough to be sitting on a seat in the taipei government. And the man on the left, described as his side-kick, also looks suspiciously unfit. That is, for a typical politician in a typical australian culture. Whether they were born to look so, or whether it is the prevailing wisdom of proverbs 27:19, only their mothers would know.

17. As Water Reflects an Image, So the Face Reflects the Heart

"As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man." (Proverbs 27:19) I have always believed in this, and i know that it is true. Interestingly, there are two parts to this verse. The first part talks about a physical reflection, and the ease water can reflect an image. The second part talks about an inward reflection, how the heart can affect the being of a person. Combine these two parts, and i form an interpretation which says that the heart affects the thoughts of a person, then the decisions of a person, then the actions of a person, and finally the facial appearance and expression of a person. You can't hide what is in your heart.

One day i came home with severe bruising all over my body. I knew roughly why this had happened, as the red marks were symmetrical from top to bottom. I seldom take pictures of myself, especially of my body, of course unless for special occasions and this time being to show my mum what a brave boy her son has been in taiwan, and that he's still able to stand on two legs. Now i must start from the beginning.

It began one evening when my aunty 'L' known as 'L', invited me to go up into the mountains. To be polite, i said yes, and since there wasn't much to do at L's house, to say that i was busy would be asking to be exposed on the spot. So up we drove to the mountains. Though don't underestimate taiwanese mountains, the island may be small, but the mountains are steep. Half an hour later, we arrived at a massage house. How pleasant that L is taking me for a massage, i thought. I really could not wait to get inside. I have always been somebody who likes being touched. When i was young, my dad had to touch/massage me for many hours before i would fall asleep. And now that i am older and have more energy, it is always my turn to massage people to sleep. Thus, I have dreamed of this place, the massage house, for so so long.

Upon entering the massage house, we were greeted by three massaging men. Well-built, tall, thick arms - i'd say a it is a case of big talent small use. One of the men told me to take my clothes off. I took off my jacket. He wanted more. I took off my shirt. But he still wasn't satisfied. Okay so I took off my socks. But he disagreed. This time he eyed my pants with the 'ooh-don't-be-so-shy' look. And i knew that i was in big trouble. At that point in time i thought to myself: 'goodness, what could be worse than a thigh massage at this time of night?' But later on i found the answer to the question to be: any of the many shifty manouevres this massaging man stores inside his sleeves.

The masseur sometimes had me on my stomach while he pressed on my gluteus maximus. That is okay comfortable for a guy, but after a while, it became embarrassing, especially when he shifted my position a few times to wrestle-hold me in new postures. The standard thoughts of a massagee are things such as: "hmmm....", "go to sleeeeep...", "15 more minutes...", "yeah..." But the whole time, i was thinking about all the things a massagee should not be needing to thinking about during a massage. I figured that he mustn't be an experienced masseur to overly not understand guys' needs , especially when he is a man himself.

The masseur used a muscle scraper, which looked like a comb but it had some mass and was rock hard. He held and scraped it deeply and repetitively over most muscle areas on my body waist up and thigh down. The pain is indescribable with a few words, so i have to use a chinese idiom called 'sheng bu ru si' (alive not better than dead). Though i was not ready to die, i had learnt how to use the idiom. With each scrape, i would let out a singular side-splitting laughter. Just as seen on the movies, when pain reaches a certain level, the character no longer screams but laughs, because there is no more energy left for screaming. And why didn't the man massager stop his work at the sound of my explosive fragments of laughter? Because my aunty L had already paid him good money to spend time with me all night.

As the masseur was scraping, he was surprised to tell me that i was getting red bruises in the places he was contacting. I asked him why it didn't hurt afterwards. And he told me it was an uncommon form of muscular stress, that my muscles are constantly being exercised, and the red marks are just indications of the muscles that were ready to buff out of my fat and skin. Doesn't look much of it in real life does it? Doesn't even look like it with my clothes off.

It seemed to me, through the way that i was spoilt, that my aunty L didn't know how to spend her money. Not that it was a waste to spend money on me, but for the fact that she has so much money, i predict, would give her headaches every day. She took me to five-star restaurants and top-quality and delicate-sized-food all-you-can-eats, where i was careful of what or how much i ate just in case i scared L's daughter.

The streets of taiwan are peppered with small dessert like the one above, which would make a fortune if it opens in melbourne. There was a particular franchise called 'Ginger Female Duck' and its specialty was ginger female duck. As i was travelling around taiwan, i saw many times protruding signs and shopfront labels of 'Ginger Female Duck' written in ancient traditional font with its red-backgrounded and its delicious black duck logo. How i need one of those ducks, i thought each time walking past and seeing that sign.

Sure enough, one day, L brought home a 'Ginger Female Duck'. She put it in a bowl and called me enthusiastically to quickly come to try it before it turns cold. Quickly i was, to sit down on the sofa next to L in front of the tv with a bowl of duck on the coffee table. The first forkful was awesome! My eyes lit up to tell L just how wonderful it had tasted, and how it was twice as good as what i pictured it to be. And it was great! And it was tasty! And it was profound! And it was different! And it was flavoursome! And it was unique! And it was intense! And it was mind-boggling! And it was heart-throbbing! And wait, it was... absolutely disgusting! I was now up to my 12th forkful and my forkfuls were becoming smaller and smaller.

My aunty was staring at me with a kind smile. She asked: "hao bu hao chi? (is it good?)" Now to answer the question, i would have responded: "uh...bu tai xi guan eh...(not too used to it)." However, it was impossible that i could say that. Not after telling her just 10 seconds ago that it was awesome. So i said: "yes it is good." Then she said: "oh good, daughter and i have already had some, the rest of the bowl is yours. bu yao ke qi! (don't be so polite about eating the whole thing)." That was when my stomach began turn. And being inside my aunty's peripheral vision, even though she was laughing and commenting in front of the tv, forced me to eat on fork by fork. At this point, i could feel the duck gravitating inside my stomach as the contents of my stomach was ready to pour out. This agony was indescribable in a few words, such that i have to use a chinese idiom, this time called 'jin tui liang nan" which means 'forward, backwards, both difficult'. This idiom is usually used in the context of wars where an army is trapped in a dilemma, such that they cannot move forward to attack nor can they move back in retreat. Applied to my case, i was not able to forward any more food into my stomach, nor was i ready to vomit the contents of my stomach back to where it came from. Now that's some application.

After some time, the aftertaste from that night had still not subsided. Now, if you say to me the words 'Ginger Female Duck', i would give you a slow meditating look as i try to release those pockets of air out of my stomach. Yes even right now. Even if you remind me via sms.

(To be continued...)

16. Pleasing to my eyes

There was just something that i did not understand as i walked the streets of taipei. That was, the amount of basketball machines inside the city of taipei. I would walk from arcade to arcade to sometimes find rows of 20 basketball machines all lined up, and not have been surprised if three quarters of those were occupied. Sometimes the basketball machines don't need an arcade to simply be there; they're just there. Back home, basketball machines are some of the most obtuse things ever. They can be found in gaming zones and share just-about-equal reputations with whack-a-croc, wheel-of-fortune, roll-a-ball-into-a-target and feed big momma. If you wanted to play on one these machines in australia, you would have to think again, and come back when it is darker, to save yourself the embarrassment of being seen.

The way to play this game was to shoot as many baskets in a certain amount of time. There are three levels in the entire game, and if one level is passed, the player is allowed into the next one. Each level has 60 seconds. So that's 180 seconds in total. A good score would be around about 220.

One day, as i was browsing the tv at my aunty's house, i discovered what the fuss was all about. Celebrities on tv were playing the machines, and that's what it was all about. Tv also showed basketball competitions endorsed by celebrities. A major competition at that time was taken out by a 40yr old mother of two, who scored 880 points. You could imagine the stance she would have to take and what she would need to perform with her arms every quarter of a second. Though she wasn't a celebrity at that time, she soon became more like one. For the boys in the picture, they were supposed to be 'beyond cool' and definitely way cooler than basketball machines, but because of social influence, all things became possible. If a celebrity could do it, people don't have the power to put you down for doing it. If everyone does it, the action suddenly becomes normal e.g. coughing and spitting large phlegms while lining up in a queue to buy an ice-cream. It would be those 'normal' things in different cultures, which people do so instinctively that i find most pleasing to my eyes.

On the night of our tour graduation, a few of the groups were selected to give a repeated performance of plays/dances/songs which were performed throughout the tour. The graduation night was supposedly special because, besides the fact that it was the second last night, four 'official party' members were invited to come to watch in the front row or best seats. We were told to be on our best behaviour.

As i studied this photo, i began to realise that the hand positions of the four official party members formed a perfect evolution of a clap cycle. Starting from the right, the climax of a clap is when two hands are together making a loud sound. This evolves into a more hesitant approach, where the hands cup into each other so that the slower claps won't look awkward compared to when it is done in the together position. From there, it changes into a faint-hearted anticipation of something worth clapping for. The final evolution is of the hand position of the lady on the left: dormant.

The official party was being socially influenced in two ways. The first way was when everyone in the audience started clapping for a local hero after he says an in-joke. Everyone was cheering and going crazy both at the humour and the fact that it was 'the person'. While this was happening, the official party also decided to clap, not knowing the reason, but they did it nonetheless. Seeing that there were people in front of the front row taking pictures of the official party, they had a reason to put on some facial expression while clapping to show some facial appreciation, however obliged it may have seemed. The second way is seen in the evolution. The audience on the left quietened before the audience on the right, therefore there was a wave of quietness inside the auditorium. However official the party was, i was not so sure, but it was for certain that if a pretend clap from a majority had been setup beforehand, it would trigger the party to also clap, and perhaps with a simulated smile on their faces.

In conclusion, it is not only possible for celebrities to influence teenagers and young adults, but it can also go the other way around. In organizational terms, it is not always a top-down approach where management dictates changes, but the reverse can happen to give organizations a bottom-to-top influence, which is not extraordinary. Though socially, I look forward to being amused by this phenomenon.

15. How To Lose A Friend In Three Ways

To be continued, below...

So how many ways are there to lose a friend? Rumours have it that there are about ten, but here are the top three ways as i have discovered in taiwan.

1. The number 1 strategy to lose a friend is to talk about yourself whenever you can. To master this art, you have to be ever-thinking about what the talk topic has to do with yourself, and how you can apply it and fit yourself into the conversation. A typical conversation from the master:

master: so where did you go today?
friend: i went to a 'working house' store in near Taichung train station.
master: oh that one, yeah i know that one. me and my friends went there once to buy tapes and clothes. so where else did you go?
friend: well the science museum, i walked there after that.
master: you walked to the science museum? did you like it?
friend: yes i liked it, i really liked the rooftop display.
master: yeah, i remember when i went to the science museum and i dared my friends to hide inside while it closed. and my friends couldn't get out after that. oh, so funny.
friend: ohh...
master: but the funny thing is they had to spend the night there in their school uniform. i didn't want to ditch my friends either, so i went home to get a sleeping bag and slept near the museum window. that was just last year before the renovation.
friend: didn't your friends get mad?
master: yeah, but we do this all the time. one of our classmates can never get along with the other boys in the other class. and he always goes to throw rubbish or uneaten lunch into their home room after lunch. the teacher's expression was so funny.
friend: ...hmm...oh i went to see the native plant green house as well, that was good.
master: yeah...(silence)
friend: ...have you been there?
master: (eyes light up and takes a deep breath) I! blablabla...

Clearly here in this case study, the master is supposed to be a gracious and welcoming host, whose aim is to make the friend feel comfortable with a heart-warming chat. But what does she do? From the question asker, she becomes the question receiver, and she makes you wonder if all her questions are asked according to her own interests, so that as soon as a semi-satisfactory answer is given, she may take a deep breath and pounce on her own question - hard.

In taiwan, i talked to a very powerful girl who was keen and able to maintain a one way conversation. Every time i took a breath to speak some words, she would quickly cut me off with more tales about herself, leaving me to close my mouth and deflate air. By the time she ran out of things to interrupt me with, my face had turned red hot, maybe from all those breaths, but definitely from the build-up of intense frustration. And we talked for three and a bit hours that night.

2. The second most effective way is to show off your skills and abilities as a priority in friendship building. To master this art, you need to know how to avoid weaknesses to deliberately run into your strengths, while pulling others down in order to magnify yourself. Thus the main goal of a master is to surround himself with a group of people who awe at his skills and capabilities. Littly known to him, the culture of the group he creates is of self-interest, competition and jealousy. And little does he know, that deep down, people don't really care about your abilities. What matters to people is your sincerity.

"I remember the story of a taiwanese guy who dated a taiwanese girl. He was very excited to take her out to see a movie, though he wasn't too good with directions, and he lost his way. By the time they arrived at the cinema, the movie had already finished. Embarrassed he was, but he nervously asked her if she wanted to go to dinner. She said yes. At the end of the dinner, he discovered that he only had NT$100 in his wallet. He searched every single pocket for loose change, but still did not have enough. Neighbouring diners were turning their heads to look as they wondered what the fuss was all about. The guy stuttered to ask the girl whether she could lend him some money to pay for the dinner. The next day, the girl's parents invited the guy over to have a coffee. He was late by over three-quarters of an hour, the reason being that his motorbike had run out of petrol. By the time the parents greeted him outside the gate, he was huffing and puffing breathlessly beside his motorcycle with sweat dripping from his chin and helmet strap. In the end, the girl actually married the silly guy."

Just look at how hard he tried. If a girl did that to me, i may not marry her, but i would definitely nod my head and say to myself: "i want to be your friend." It's true that she doesn't know how to do anything. I could say that she is uncautious or even disorganized. But those things don't matter when there is true sincerity.

If it was a guy, it would be even better.

14. Double the Vision

I have never seen so many people pack into a single train station. Very shameful, my camera was not wide enough to capture all the people on the left squeezing down from the escalator and all the people on the right squeezing onto the escalator trying to get down.

This was at about 2:00am on the 1st day of 2007, where a lot of people had come out to the parliament square to celebrate the new year. This was at the final stage of going home. The initial stage of going home, which was walking out of parliament square, began at about 12:30am. In the process of going home, there wasn't one corner of any big city streets that allowed the space for a full-stretched yawn. The sufferers of course, were the vehicles that had happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If there wasn't even enough space for a yawn, there wouldn't have been enough space to even open the door to get out and 'talk about it'.

Pedestrians on the paths were so slow, literally at the pace of snails, that after a while, even some old grandmas and grandpas could be seen rolling over head-high metal fences onto private property to gain a speed advantage via a clear path. This was pleasing to my eyes - I love to see people act out of desperation. I overheard an english man say to his taiwanese wife, in an english accent: "Goodness, i'm never coming here again..." And surely i didn't just hear that from only one non-taiwanese person that night. It wasn't a pleasant idea to sit 300 metres away from the centre of the action. Next time, it shall be a good time on a rice paddock 30km away from the city, having a picnic while watching the fireworks.

If you've ever attempted to stare at a space, and continue staring at that space, where a train passes by, you'll find that it is impossible to keep your eyeballs still, or fixed. Uncontrollably, the eyeballs would always flicker then readjust, and flicker then readjust over and over again as it helplessly follows the movement of the train. The only way to stop this from happening is to form a double vision while continuing to stare at the same spot. With the double vision, nothing else seems to be in focus, except for the focus of fixing upon the new vision. Now you are not scared of however many trains that go past or however fast they go past. This technique is also the secret to blinking contests. And if you're feeling as though everything in your life is moving so fast that you can barely keep up, or that challenges are non-stop and can only get tougher and tougher, then won't you ask God for a double portion of a vision to be poured out into your life.

Sam Hu