My mum is the clean freak. It is not to say that she loves to clean, it's just that she likes the things around her to be clean. She abide by the rule of 'if you can't see it, it can't hurt you', because she even uses environmentally friendly cleaners to rid all possibilities of uncleanliness - including the uncleanliness from normal dish washing liquids. And to satisfy her cleanliness, dish scrubbers must be made from environmentally friendly materials which are chemical free. Her current favourite is the sun-dried luffa (sponge gourd), which has a rough texture for scrubbing dirty dishes clean. Sometimes, her cleaning demands become so ridiculous that we engage in 'tongue battles' (she zhan), which are basically arguments, except i'd like to think that it is more sophisticated. In ancient china, when one arguer says a statement and a contestant challenges with an opposing statement that plays on the arguer's statement, a 'tongue battle' begins. The arguer would fire back words to attack the contestant, and the contestant would gentlemanly make use of the attack to convey his own message that rhymes, matches certain tones, possibly parodies, while at the same time counterattacks. The arguer would then crunch back with his own sets of plays of language and sophistication. So on and so forth, until a large crowd is gathered. My mum enjoys a sparring partner for what she does best.
My dad is the neat freak. It is not to say that he is not clean, it just means that he is especially fussy about tidiness. When he sees a sink full of dishes, he feels knots in his heart. But wait! Shouldn't a sink full of dirty dishes bother a clean freak? Yes it does, but it bothers a neat freak even more, because the dishes are not stacked neatly on the rack, and the fact that there is misplaced dirt on them, knots the heart even more. Conversely speaking, a neat freak would not mind rubbish - as long as it is placed in the correct spot e.g. at the left side of the desk, where it is labeled 'discarded papers'. A neat freak relies on order in his life to maintain his knotless heart. Before continuing with anything else, he must find the dropped rubber that has rolled under the fixed work desk and place it back into the pencil case, he must shelve his series of books in a particular order at a particular angle, straighten the painting to zero degree tilt etc. Most importantly, a neat freak must never waste. Even for the sake of saving. Although it is pouring heavily outside, my dad would still pour the vegetable washing water into the 'resources bucket'. I told him that in the past 3 seconds it rained enough on our lawn to fill 3000 of those buckets. He agreed with me, but to waste, he cannot.
I know a lot of people who have these traits, so you may be able to identify very well. Thus, i do should not be using the word 'freak'. However, after visiting and staying with my little uncle in taiwan for a few days, i can truly say that i had discovered a freak - a 'safety freak'.
Everywhere my little uncle goes, whether it is the house, the car or the office, he carries with him a few packet of wet wipers. He picked me up from the bus stop and the first thing he said to me was: "Yao bu yao ca shou? (Want to clean hands?)" He also said the same thing when i was getting out. He said the same thing when i was inside the house, and outside the house. All in all, he just kept saying it all day. Rumours has it that his family uses a box of tissues per day, and i add that 90% of the tissues is pulled out and used or distributed by him alone. This is safety via cleanliness.
Academic excellence in taiwan has much to do with university education as well as career prosperity. Little uncle knows this fact, so he does all he could to assist her daughter to the top of the class in all subjects. He really gets involved at the parent teacher interviews, sometimes makes his own appointments with teachers, and actively participates with in-class politics. He told me about the time when her daughter Ting Ting obtained an almost perfect score in her end of year test but she was still beaten to the top by the 'second smartest kid' in class. He said that it was an outrage, the 'second smartest kid' came first overall only because he scored a little higher in class tests, which are nothing compared to the big end of year test. His vivid and detailed descriptions of Ting Ting's classmates make it seem almost as though he comes to class to sit at the back just to 'check up' on the kids in the class. As the old proverb prescribes: "Know self, know else, win one hundred out of one hundred times."
I took this photo while in a zoo. During the 'sore leg' sitting break, he pulls out a social activities textbook so that they could revise for the upcoming social activities test together. This is safety via job security.
Little uncle has safety doubts/issues about a lot of people, as in people are plain not safe, especially when they are random. He says: "Ni zai che zhan ji ji ji de shi hou, yao ba bao bao na hao, qian bao fang zai li mian kou dai, xiao xin ni ji ji ji ji dong xi jiu bu jian le." ("When you squish squish squish, hold your bags close, put your wallet in safe place, in case you squish squish squish and come out with nothing." Also: "Ru guo kan dao you ren wang ni zhe bian zou, kan de guai guai de, xian duo kai la, ru guo hao xiang gen zhe ni de hua, ni jiu ke yi cha bu duo kai shi pao le." ("If you see someone walking towards you, and looks suspicious, try to avoid first, if he looks like he's following you, you should pretty much make a run for it.")
He wanted to show me exactly how dangerous taiwan can be. So he gave me a live demonstration while picking up his daughter from school. So, he walked with me through the front gate of the primary school and sure enough we were stopped by security guards.
"Dui bu qi, wai ren bu ke yi jin qv," (Sorry no outsiders allowed) said one of the four security guards.
"Wo shi jie xiao hai de," (I'm here to pick up my kid) said my uncle as he stopped to explain.
"Jie xiao hai ah?" (Pick up kid?) said the guard, now more relaxed. "Ha-ha, hen xin ku ho?" (tough work that.)
"Yes yes," said uncle. And we were through as easily as 'open sesame'. "Ni kan ni kan! Ren he ren dou ke yi zhang de xiang shi jie xiao hai de ah. Wo zhen de bu zhi dao na ji wei zai men kou gan ma" (See see, anybody can look like they have kids. I really don't know what these guards are doing at the gate) he aired to me. This is safety via paranoia.
These safety measures are not to be underestimated.
