Watch (Out) For These Funny Things

1. If anyone tells/shows/asks you anything on the street, it would be best to ignore and run away, if you're not adventurous. Most Chinese people will ignore you and go away because they have all tasted the negativity of interacting with random people.

one example: occasionally, someone riding a motorbike will drop a bag of goods, or cash, and then ride off. Then, another person comes along behind you and says to you: "hey, we both saw the stuff drop off the motorbiker, so let's be fair about it and split?" When you say OK, he will start stuffing some of the goods into his bag and your bag, and just as you're about to leave, the motorbiker comes back with a few more guys and asks to check both your bags. When they find the stuff in your bag, they will threaten to beat you up/take you to police if you don't give them more money either via wallet or going to the bank to withdraw some.

2. The following scenario has been repeated many times, and it happened to us.

When we were about to leave a hotel in Shanghai, two suited businessmen + a driver pull into the hotel driveway and start talking to one of us. He brings out three beautifully wrapped bags of metal guanyin tea, and says: "Hey! You are really in luck, because we were just driving by and we have some teas here to give to our superior, but as he is unavailable, we need to get rid of it another way because we are going back to Huang Shan today. I bought these for 600 Yuan each, but today I will sell to you for 100 Yuan each." They sounded convincing (but dumb at the same time, but convincingly friendly), so one of us said, whatever it's 300 Yuan, let's purchase it. As soon as one of us handed over the money, another one of us came out screaming, and at the same time, he and his friend quickly hopped back into the car with a small 'oh thank you' and sped away. The another one of us said, "If he really wanted to be friends, why would he speed away as soon as I came out?"

Later on we asked a tea guru friend who said that this case has happened many times in China. When my mum said to him: "But these men were suited, had a driver, and even had a valid mobile number on the business card (she called to TALK to him as politely as possible, and he still confirmed over the phone it was excellent tea)", the guru said these people are in the trade of conning people, so of course they look professional. The estimated price of one bag was 20 Yuan, so the three of them made a healthy profit of 240 Yuan in 5 minutes. Not too bad for people with no conscience.

3. When you buy things in the dark or in big areas of shade, some people will give you these as 20 Yuan note change. These look like Russian currency, but actually they are paper monopoly money! So stupid. Our tour guide said he will buyback ALL of these types of notes we receive from the shady sellers, as he feels embarrassed by this.

4. Some days you'll see 'masters' sitting next to a preset chess board and will ask bypassers to challenge them. The rule in this scenario below is that if the bypasser can defeat the master in 3 moves or less, he will give you back your money 10-fold.

The guy in red is the 'master'.

The challenger in black looks suspicious, because he placed a 200 Yuan bet 3 times in a row and lost. If the average wage for a Chinese is 1000-2000 Yuan/month, can he afford to lose 600 Yuan in 5 minutes?? It looks like they're in the same group, working together to trick money. Another guy standing next to me saw my mobile phone and threatened to hit me. But it was too late because I can now go home to solve this. Likely that it is not possible to win in 3 moves.

5. Sometimes you feel really jibbed when you (or i in this case) walk into a full looking restaurant, sit down, order, and then see all the patrons stand up and start cooking, cleaning, talking, and makes me think: "they were all...waiters??" But it is too late to walk out.

Reminds me of Zen's massage parlours where sometimes if you look closely, the people getting massaged are in Zen's massage uniform. I suppose it is hitting all 3 birds with one stone - owner not wasting acquired resources, workers receiving extra employment benefits, and makes Zen's look like a thriving business for potential business buyers.

Tour Begins - Introduction

My parents and myself booked a Beijing, Tianjin, Chengde tour for 8 days.

The initial price was very cheap @ AUD$83/person + $80 "optional" shows + "tips".

The way these tours make money, is by taking you to many shopping destinations to purchase the "Chinese Specialty Items" such as pearls, jades, silks, teas, chinese medicines, etc. The tour company would receive commission on sales. This fascinated me, because I wanted to know HOW they would get us to buy these items. What if you don't want to buy? Would they still make money? Are they subsidized by the Chinese government in any way?

A note on my parents, or more specifically my mum. She was the ultimate enforcer (!) of those rhymy signs in public places teaching people to use some civilization. For example, if someone smokes in a public place and she smells it, she would say strictly: "Zhe li shi gong gong chang suo, qing ni bu yao chou yan." (This is a public area please do not smoke.) Reaction, person disappears from sight. If someone pushes into the line when going onto the train, she would say strictly: "Zhong guo ren yao you xiu yang, wo men yao xue xi zen me pai dui." (Chinese people need manners, we need to learn how to line up.) Reaction, person stops moving and pretends nothing happened.

When the people get taken back to school like this, they are stunned and become speechless, because nobody tells nobody off for uncivilization ever.

Anyway, the tour provided 5-star accommodation, touring bus, tour guide, breakfast lunch and dinner. Sounds good, fun, exciting? YES. Or NO. Find out soon.

'ke:tisi

When asked the question why Chinese people like to spit on the ground, our tour guide said it was 'mei ban fa' (cannot be helped), because the action of spitting on the ground IS an element of Chinese culture, passed down from ancestorV to ancestorW. This is a good explanation, because the question I wanted to ask was, how do the Chinese get so much phlegm to spit out? I don't really mind the sound of it, but it makes the ground a field of fresh mines.

'Courtesy: Civilization in taking train, give way and help others' sign can be found at the train station.

Another action that is quite noticeable on the street is people bumping into people. What I've learned is that if you bump into someone, you should not look at them - and should just keep walking. Do not say the 'sorry'. If you say sorry or any variation of sorry such as even: "bu hao yi si", surrounding people might think you're a foreigner, and we don't want that to happen do we? The attitude when you bump into someone is that the someone should be sorry for bumping into you. Hence the sign:

"10 points to happiness"

Smile more Mouth sweeter

Talk softer Move quicker

Think faster Anger slower

Acceptance bigger Excuses smaller

Perform more actions Efficiency higher

Having said all that, I have seen on a few occasions a middle-aged woman/man fighting with an elderly woman for the other person to sit on the seat. The fights usually lasted for about 7-8 exchanges of 'ni zuo!' 'ni zuo!' in the same way two friends would fight for the bill. It wouldn't be right for the fight to end any other way than for the elderly woman to sit. Can you imagine the opposite? Quite impressive to see.

Interim Post

Currently I am on the 8 day tour, which starts at 6:00am and finishes at after 9:00pm.

In the interim:

I realise that If I was a chaos inducing resident of China, unsyncing the city traffic lighting signals would realistically do minimal damage.

Actually says: "cterrorist in the classic"

Some intersections don't even have lights. Cars are so used to other crazy drivers and pedestrians, that they are so very cautious on the road.

Facebook ID Confirmation

Finally, I was able to get onto Facebook, somehow.

But, I was hit with a 'you are accessing facebook from an unusual location', and a:

I chose the 3rd option, which said: "match your friend's face to their name", which I thought this was very innovative and cute. Facebook would show me photos of a list of 5 people, and I have to select using multiple choice their names. You get 2 skips and if you get 1 wrong, you lose the game and will have to either wait another few hours, or use another method to confirm ID.

The first name that appeared really caught me by surprise. It was Euikyoung Shin. And they were pictures I'd never seen before! Claire, I know you don't read this blog, but how great would it be if you did? (Can I really believe that Facebook does not keep a record of whose profile users visit??)

Examples out of the 5 people, none of whom were very casual friends:




If you've never tried this before, I recommend it. Very thoughtful and cute of Facebook.

China staffing metrics

What is the government doing to boost the Chinese economy?

Creating employment opportunities, everywhere.

This is Bei Guo SUPERmarket. It is quite a large-sized market. It also has quite a large number of employees.

There are:
1) promoter staff at every section,
2) groups of misc help staff who don't seem to know the answers,
3) taste test dispensers at EVERY intersection and aisle,
4) many checkout staff,
5) a huge row of butchers behind the meat section,
6) many shelving staff, and decorative staff who positions and repositions items such as fruit and veg.
7) a school of dishwashing staff,
8) floor moppers everywhere,
9) security staff just standing around,
10) baggage holding staff,
11) manager staff walking around looking busy.

Makes me think whether these jobs really do add direct value to the suprrmarket, or if there is another reason.

I also liked this supermarket car park goodbye attendant job. He firstly points to the exit direction with 'xie xie guang ling' (thanks for coming):

And then SENDS THEN OUT ( :) ) with a 'qing man zou' (pls leave slowly):

This picture shows the wage of various jobs per month. Keeping in mind 1Aud equals 6.5Cny.

An average salary of 2000 per month is an affordable amount for big corporations, and keeps the masses employed at a self-sustainable income. Surely unemployment rate is decreasing rapidly.

Shi Jia Zhuang (石家庄 - Stone House Village)

Have you ever heard of this city? I haven't.

Before coming to this city, a quick research told me that it was an industrial city. Before disembarking at the Shi Jia Zhuang train station, a few thoughts hit my mind: stone + industrial = ... quarry?

Shi Jia Zhuang is home to a population of 10 million people. Taking a bus around the city makes Melbourne feel like a small flat village, and makes Shi Jia Zhuang (which I will now call SJZ) seem like an ultra-huge megatropolis.

Okay okay, so the first impression of SJZ was that the girls were prettier =]. Not that it's what it's all about, but if you sort a list such as this by beauty (click to sort by beauty): buildings, cars, ipad2s, cloud forms, construction workers, girls - girls would usually come near to the top.

I learned two things the hard way.
1) In SJZ, you require a Chinese ID to book a 3-star or below hotel. Passports not accepted!
2) In SJZ, you require a Chinese ID to use a computer in an internet cafe. Passports not accepted!

I had already booked a nice 3-star hotel but was denied access for a lack of ID. Then I was denied access to an internet cafe for a lack of ID. My mobile phone was running out of battery and I had no hotel to charge at. Even if I had battery, there are no open wireless hotspots, not even at McDonalds.

Good things come out of lessons like these. I felt like I was in times of the Bible prophecy (many prophesies already fulfilled, and all will be fulfilled, please stay tuned) where citizens would require some sort of a high-tech ID implanted somehow into their skin/body, and they will have to swipe in order for them to purchase any item, including food items. (In the meantime, check out the companies that have already begun developing technologies such as these.)

I felt the frustration when the internet cafe boss said: "I'm sorry I really don't know how to let you use the Internet. You don't have a Chinese ID, and your passport just won't swipe on our system... See? No beep. No beep. No beep. I really cannot help you!" It's not that he was being tight, but it's just what the government has regulated. In those tribulational days, will it not be the same? The food stores won't be able to sell you anything without that ID even if they took pity on you.


No stone quarries here in SJZ. Lots of shops and street markets. See you again soon.