The Taiwan Chronicles

Jibby Jades and Jewellery

2012-01-11T20:28:00.000-08:00

Happening of events:

1. We went into this underground jewellery place. With lots of jewellery, jades, precious stones, and rings.
2. We sat down in a room and an ordinary sales person came to talk to us.
3. About 3 minutes into talking with, the sales person suddenly 'receives' a message from his ear piece/outside and says: "what the boss is here??"
4. He hurries out, and a 'boss' comes in, and start speaking loudly and acting boss.
5. The boss starts telling us about these things:
- how it is destiny that we meet, because
- this is only his 3rd time here in 20 years of operation, as he has 200 stores across China
- but unfortunately, his son is having some health issues, and he even chose to be here with us
- he starts to give out some small jades, as a gift, his rationale was,
- he hopes that we can give his son blessing, when we receive the jades

Boss Lin thanks us for blessing his son

- he says he will not sell us anything, he will not do business with us today, otherwise he is not our friend!
6. We proceed outside and he shows us how to tell real jade from fake jade. He says wrapping a piece of hair around a real jade, will disallow it from burning when fire is put against the hair. He tested, and it was true!
7. He then reveals the 'secret' of all secrets of the price markup, which was approximately 3 times higher than cost price. He says he applies this for all his items.
8. Then he says, "These jades are all very expensive (some were marked CNY190,000 = USD$31,000), BUT because he is now our friend, he will give it to us at USD$1,000 with no room to bargain, because if we bargain, he will not be happy and no longer wants to be our friend. He says this is the king of all bargains.
9. Next, 7 aunties rush up to claim the jade. Face palm from some of us non-aunties.
10. My mum picked one and showed it to my dad. My dad looks hesitant...and just at the point of hesitancy, the boss appears and says: "Ok, because you are my friend, please take this gift from me - it is a ring I have worn everyday for 20 years, please take it." Then he takes it off his hand and forces it on to my dad's hand.
11. I go to see what was going on. The boss suddenly appears and takes off the other ring on his hand, and says: "OK this ring I have been wearing for 15 years. Take it. You are my friend." Unbelievable! I took it. It looked expensive, but it didn't look good on me. And unbelievable! Boss's 35 years of ring-wearing given away in just 30 seconds! Truly not-believable.

Boss talks abour rings

12. Then when he sees another lady hesitating about the purchase, he goes up to the sales man, and says: "You! What are you doing?? She is my friend. Give her half price now." The sales man says sorry sorry and bows, and offers the lady the new price on the calculator.

This was exactly what I paid for. Live Chinese drama.

---
Check out this flight ticket:

This means, if you pay AUD$300 for a flight, and they will donate 1/20,000 of it to charity!

Priorities

2012-01-09T22:31:00.001-08:00

There comes a time in life, when gaining weight isn't as bad as a lot of other things in life. So 'negate gaining weight' on the priorities list becomes lower and lower.

This may or may not be such a bad thing, depending on what is on top of that priorities list.

New Years Eve What To Do?

2011-12-30T16:40:00.000-08:00

Ask Google. Or Google insight.

And the result we get is:

1. Question asked in December - expected.
2. Growing interest over time for this question - unexpected. (Oh by the way, this is not because more people are using Google. The data is standardized.)
3. Australia, being the most interested country to ask this question on Google - unexpected.

Conclusion:

I moderately conclude that the richest countries will be the most interested in what they should do for NYE. I weakly conclude that Australia is among the richest countries in the world, and the reason they are asking this question is because 1. they have sufficient time, 2. they are used to a playful lifestyle, 3. they have sufficient spend.

Linking this back to China, you won't see many searches in baidu.com on what they should do for new years eve. No doubt, everyone is rushing to go back home to spend 15 new year days with the family.

Few observations

2011-12-25T15:40:00.001-08:00

1. I was intrigued to find almost nobody reading on the train from Chengdu to Beijing. There were people on mobile phones, listening to music that's played out loud, which is a very acceptable practice, sleeping, watching tv, but didn't see any books!

2. In Sichuan province, people answer the phone by saying: "Wei4", which is pronounced 'Way', not 'Way?' Anyone in Asia not from Sichuan province may find that rude.

3. Everytime I presented my passport at a net cafe, 5-6 people would crowd around me and say simultaneously: "what is that? what is that?" Sometimes they will come talk to me like a foreigner, except as a foreigner with black hair.

4. Strange animals such as camels sometimes can appear in the modern streets of Shi Jia Zhuang.

5. Police crackdown on churches is funny. If you get caught meeting as a church, you say, OK 'this church' won't meet again. Then you change the name of the church, and keep meeting somewhere else. The junior police who 'caught' the church, then won't be responsible. When the senior officers crackdown on the junior police, the junior police can say: "Surely we have disunited this church meeting, see it no longer exists."

6. I like to pretend to take a photo of the taxi's license card while on the journey. Taxi drivers however, like to hide that license card behind something, or anything, such as a the 'available' lights, meter ticker or the rear view mirror! Dodgy.

7. Southern China flight attendants can't speak English. Not a complaint here. Sometimes the translation doesn't make any sense. Sometimes the translation into English is just a few words. Example: "所有不帶下的行李由海官除理" turns into: "All luggage not taken off the airplane will be handled by the customer".

Maid in China

2011-12-18T05:01:00.000-08:00

For some reason, I was looking for a nanny in Sydney.

And check out the Google Ad that comes up! Haha.

Zoom in.

It's a maid who can also do some Chinese tutoring when she's done cleaning the house!

Not quite sure about the relevancy. Btw, the only Google that is accessible in China is google.com.hk .

Tour: Cute Small Girl

2011-12-07T06:21:00.000-08:00

A good reason to go on tour with a group is not knowing WHO you will meet, which is an exciting feeling.

See the common factor?

This small girl is:
- 6 yrs old
- at the age of not being scared of big people
- shy at first, but once getting to know you she:
- likes sticking to people, especially big boys
- formulates intelligent responses
- lovely, cute and huggable (to my subjectivity)
- tells you stories
- prefers to hold hands, and thinks it ridiculous when teased by her brother (10 yrs old) that I'm her boyfriend. I also think it's ridiculous =].

Makes me want a daughter today! But wait, if something is truly great, it is surely worth the waiting for.

Watch (Out) For These Funny Things

2011-12-06T08:08:00.000-08:00

1. If anyone tells/shows/asks you anything on the street, it would be best to ignore and run away, if you're not adventurous. Most Chinese people will ignore you and go away because they have all tasted the negativity of interacting with random people.

one example: occasionally, someone riding a motorbike will drop a bag of goods, or cash, and then ride off. Then, another person comes along behind you and says to you: "hey, we both saw the stuff drop off the motorbiker, so let's be fair about it and split?" When you say OK, he will start stuffing some of the goods into his bag and your bag, and just as you're about to leave, the motorbiker comes back with a few more guys and asks to check both your bags. When they find the stuff in your bag, they will threaten to beat you up/take you to police if you don't give them more money either via wallet or going to the bank to withdraw some.

2. The following scenario has been repeated many times, and it happened to us.

When we were about to leave a hotel in Shanghai, two suited businessmen + a driver pull into the hotel driveway and start talking to one of us. He brings out three beautifully wrapped bags of metal guanyin tea, and says: "Hey! You are really in luck, because we were just driving by and we have some teas here to give to our superior, but as he is unavailable, we need to get rid of it another way because we are going back to Huang Shan today. I bought these for 600 Yuan each, but today I will sell to you for 100 Yuan each." They sounded convincing (but dumb at the same time, but convincingly friendly), so one of us said, whatever it's 300 Yuan, let's purchase it. As soon as one of us handed over the money, another one of us came out screaming, and at the same time, he and his friend quickly hopped back into the car with a small 'oh thank you' and sped away. The another one of us said, "If he really wanted to be friends, why would he speed away as soon as I came out?"

Later on we asked a tea guru friend who said that this case has happened many times in China. When my mum said to him: "But these men were suited, had a driver, and even had a valid mobile number on the business card (she called to TALK to him as politely as possible, and he still confirmed over the phone it was excellent tea)", the guru said these people are in the trade of conning people, so of course they look professional. The estimated price of one bag was 20 Yuan, so the three of them made a healthy profit of 240 Yuan in 5 minutes. Not too bad for people with no conscience.

3. When you buy things in the dark or in big areas of shade, some people will give you these as 20 Yuan note change. These look like Russian currency, but actually they are paper monopoly money! So stupid. Our tour guide said he will buyback ALL of these types of notes we receive from the shady sellers, as he feels embarrassed by this.

4. Some days you'll see 'masters' sitting next to a preset chess board and will ask bypassers to challenge them. The rule in this scenario below is that if the bypasser can defeat the master in 3 moves or less, he will give you back your money 10-fold.

The guy in red is the 'master'.

The challenger in black looks suspicious, because he placed a 200 Yuan bet 3 times in a row and lost. If the average wage for a Chinese is 1000-2000 Yuan/month, can he afford to lose 600 Yuan in 5 minutes?? It looks like they're in the same group, working together to trick money. Another guy standing next to me saw my mobile phone and threatened to hit me. But it was too late because I can now go home to solve this. Likely that it is not possible to win in 3 moves.

5. Sometimes you feel really jibbed when you (or i in this case) walk into a full looking restaurant, sit down, order, and then see all the patrons stand up and start cooking, cleaning, talking, and makes me think: "they were all...waiters??" But it is too late to walk out.

Reminds me of Zen's massage parlours where sometimes if you look closely, the people getting massaged are in Zen's massage uniform. I suppose it is hitting all 3 birds with one stone - owner not wasting acquired resources, workers receiving extra employment benefits, and makes Zen's look like a thriving business for potential business buyers.

Tour Begins - Introduction

2011-11-29T03:13:00.000-08:00

My parents and myself booked a Beijing, Tianjin, Chengde tour for 8 days.

The initial price was very cheap @ AUD$83/person + $80 "optional" shows + "tips".

The way these tours make money, is by taking you to many shopping destinations to purchase the "Chinese Specialty Items" such as pearls, jades, silks, teas, chinese medicines, etc. The tour company would receive commission on sales. This fascinated me, because I wanted to know HOW they would get us to buy these items. What if you don't want to buy? Would they still make money? Are they subsidized by the Chinese government in any way?

A note on my parents, or more specifically my mum. She was the ultimate enforcer (!) of those rhymy signs in public places teaching people to use some civilization. For example, if someone smokes in a public place and she smells it, she would say strictly: "Zhe li shi gong gong chang suo, qing ni bu yao chou yan." (This is a public area please do not smoke.) Reaction, person disappears from sight. If someone pushes into the line when going onto the train, she would say strictly: "Zhong guo ren yao you xiu yang, wo men yao xue xi zen me pai dui." (Chinese people need manners, we need to learn how to line up.) Reaction, person stops moving and pretends nothing happened.

When the people get taken back to school like this, they are stunned and become speechless, because nobody tells nobody off for uncivilization ever.

Anyway, the tour provided 5-star accommodation, touring bus, tour guide, breakfast lunch and dinner. Sounds good, fun, exciting? YES. Or NO. Find out soon.

'ke:tisi

2011-11-23T17:40:00.000-08:00

When asked the question why Chinese people like to spit on the ground, our tour guide said it was 'mei ban fa' (cannot be helped), because the action of spitting on the ground IS an element of Chinese culture, passed down from ancestorV to ancestorW. This is a good explanation, because the question I wanted to ask was, how do the Chinese get so much phlegm to spit out? I don't really mind the sound of it, but it makes the ground a field of fresh mines.

'Courtesy: Civilization in taking train, give way and help others' sign can be found at the train station.

Another action that is quite noticeable on the street is people bumping into people. What I've learned is that if you bump into someone, you should not look at them - and should just keep walking. Do not say the 'sorry'. If you say sorry or any variation of sorry such as even: "bu hao yi si", surrounding people might think you're a foreigner, and we don't want that to happen do we? The attitude when you bump into someone is that the someone should be sorry for bumping into you. Hence the sign:

"10 points to happiness"

Smile more Mouth sweeter

Talk softer Move quicker

Think faster Anger slower

Acceptance bigger Excuses smaller

Perform more actions Efficiency higher

Having said all that, I have seen on a few occasions a middle-aged woman/man fighting with an elderly woman for the other person to sit on the seat. The fights usually lasted for about 7-8 exchanges of 'ni zuo!' 'ni zuo!' in the same way two friends would fight for the bill. It wouldn't be right for the fight to end any other way than for the elderly woman to sit. Can you imagine the opposite? Quite impressive to see.

Interim Post

2011-11-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

Currently I am on the 8 day tour, which starts at 6:00am and finishes at after 9:00pm.

In the interim:

I realise that If I was a chaos inducing resident of China, unsyncing the city traffic lighting signals would realistically do minimal damage.

Actually says: "cterrorist in the classic"

Some intersections don't even have lights. Cars are so used to other crazy drivers and pedestrians, that they are so very cautious on the road.

Facebook ID Confirmation

2011-11-15T06:44:00.000-08:00

Finally, I was able to get onto Facebook, somehow.

But, I was hit with a 'you are accessing facebook from an unusual location', and a:

I chose the 3rd option, which said: "match your friend's face to their name", which I thought this was very innovative and cute. Facebook would show me photos of a list of 5 people, and I have to select using multiple choice their names. You get 2 skips and if you get 1 wrong, you lose the game and will have to either wait another few hours, or use another method to confirm ID.

The first name that appeared really caught me by surprise. It was Euikyoung Shin. And they were pictures I'd never seen before! Claire, I know you don't read this blog, but how great would it be if you did? (Can I really believe that Facebook does not keep a record of whose profile users visit??)

Examples out of the 5 people, none of whom were very casual friends:

If you've never tried this before, I recommend it. Very thoughtful and cute of Facebook.

China staffing metrics

2011-11-12T16:13:00.001-08:00

What is the government doing to boost the Chinese economy?

Creating employment opportunities, everywhere.

This is Bei Guo SUPERmarket. It is quite a large-sized market. It also has quite a large number of employees.

There are:
1) promoter staff at every section,
2) groups of misc help staff who don't seem to know the answers,
3) taste test dispensers at EVERY intersection and aisle,
4) many checkout staff,
5) a huge row of butchers behind the meat section,
6) many shelving staff, and decorative staff who positions and repositions items such as fruit and veg.
7) a school of dishwashing staff,
8) floor moppers everywhere,
9) security staff just standing around,
10) baggage holding staff,
11) manager staff walking around looking busy.

Makes me think whether these jobs really do add direct value to the suprrmarket, or if there is another reason.

I also liked this supermarket car park goodbye attendant job. He firstly points to the exit direction with 'xie xie guang ling' (thanks for coming):

And then SENDS THEN OUT ( :) ) with a 'qing man zou' (pls leave slowly):

This picture shows the wage of various jobs per month. Keeping in mind 1Aud equals 6.5Cny.

An average salary of 2000 per month is an affordable amount for big corporations, and keeps the masses employed at a self-sustainable income. Surely unemployment rate is decreasing rapidly.

Shi Jia Zhuang (石家庄 - Stone House Village)

2011-11-10T16:52:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard of this city? I haven't.

Before coming to this city, a quick research told me that it was an industrial city. Before disembarking at the Shi Jia Zhuang train station, a few thoughts hit my mind: stone + industrial = ... quarry?

Shi Jia Zhuang is home to a population of 10 million people. Taking a bus around the city makes Melbourne feel like a small flat village, and makes Shi Jia Zhuang (which I will now call SJZ) seem like an ultra-huge megatropolis.

Okay okay, so the first impression of SJZ was that the girls were prettier =]. Not that it's what it's all about, but if you sort a list such as this by beauty (click to sort by beauty): buildings, cars, ipad2s, cloud forms, construction workers, girls - girls would usually come near to the top.

I learned two things the hard way.
1) In SJZ, you require a Chinese ID to book a 3-star or below hotel. Passports not accepted!
2) In SJZ, you require a Chinese ID to use a computer in an internet cafe. Passports not accepted!

I had already booked a nice 3-star hotel but was denied access for a lack of ID. Then I was denied access to an internet cafe for a lack of ID. My mobile phone was running out of battery and I had no hotel to charge at. Even if I had battery, there are no open wireless hotspots, not even at McDonalds.

Good things come out of lessons like these. I felt like I was in times of the Bible prophecy (many prophesies already fulfilled, and all will be fulfilled, please stay tuned) where citizens would require some sort of a high-tech ID implanted somehow into their skin/body, and they will have to swipe in order for them to purchase any item, including food items. (In the meantime, check out the companies that have already begun developing technologies such as these.)

I felt the frustration when the internet cafe boss said: "I'm sorry I really don't know how to let you use the Internet. You don't have a Chinese ID, and your passport just won't swipe on our system... See? No beep. No beep. No beep. I really cannot help you!" It's not that he was being tight, but it's just what the government has regulated. In those tribulational days, will it not be the same? The food stores won't be able to sell you anything without that ID even if they took pity on you.

No stone quarries here in SJZ. Lots of shops and street markets. See you again soon.

My First Impressions for 2011

2011-11-10T04:16:00.000-08:00

Chinese people like to do strange things in a line.

My initial thoughts at Guangzhou airport were:

1) Why is everyone speaking so loudly on their mobile phones?
2) Why are people standing so close to me? Why is he breathing down my shirt?
3) And, how is it that the guy behind me a minute ago is now in front of me!? I didn't even blink.

On a Chinese airline from Guangzhou to Beijing, when it's time for hot towels for the early morning clean, the male flight attendants hand out these towels very quickly saying: "jie zhe. jie zhe. jie zhe." which means take it, take it, take it. This was in strong contrast to the *smile - "sir, your towel" *smile. But, I like it.

Apparently, I don't look like such a non-mainlander (this could only be good in the short term). A mainlander approached me at Beijing airport to ask me (the Da Ge) for advice for which bus to take. I gave him a strong mainlander response which was a non-emotional and seemingly uncaring: "bu zhi dao", which left him puzzled as he walked away.

Chinese internet cafes require either a Chinese ID card or a Passport. I suppose it's because then the government can monitor what everyone is using the internet for, anywhere, anytime. When I presented my Passport, the lady thought my name was 'Melbourne', but received scolding by the Boss who said if she couldn't even scold her for that, she would've 'bai huo le' (lived for nothing).

1Yuan bus rides are the best. They're like city bus tours, which I can take for 1Yuan, to a random destination, from where I take another bus, and hopefully then can still find the way home.

Having some technological issues with the phone camera, so hope to show some photos to you soon. Also looking for interesting things to put here while I browse the streets.

Hello China 2011

2011-11-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

Once again, I will be in China, in 2011.

List of things I do not want to do:

1. Visit sight-seeing sites, such as the great wall, forbidden palace, all these temples, the famous statues, some ancient cave, and the likes.

2. Pose with famous sight-seeing sites, such as all the ones above.

List of things I want to do:

1. Visit local parks, local shops, local stalls, local public places.

2. Shopping, bargaining, laugh when someone tries to rip me off, dividing the number on the calculator by 10+.

3. Take photos of my portrayal of life in China. How do the people make a living? How do people interact with each other? What are the people thinking? (What was she thinking??)

--I WISH TO HAVE MANY PHOTOS--

Other thoughts

I hope I have good internet access in China, and that blogger is not blocked.

November 9 - December 14

Thank you for following!

Coming soon.

Capitalism 2

2011-08-06T00:35:00.001-07:00

When playing computer game Trevor Chan's Capitalism 2 (fully legit game, check it out here), back a few years ago, I used one simple strategy to blow my competitors away.

What is Capitalism 2

Capitalism 2 is a simulation of the activities of companies, supply chains, and the stock market. The aim of the game is to build the largest corporation in the world. I start off as the CEO of a small small company and must build my way up.

The strategy

After a few years into the game play, when I have setup farms, manufacturing plants and retail chains, I sell all the shares I have in my own company, and pocket the cash. Then I turn off my farms, manufacturing plants and retail chains, so that they become inactive and non-revenue-generating.

At that point in time, my company share price tumbles from $200/share to $20/share. I use the cash in my pocket to buyback all my shares to fully own my company, and still have much cash left over. Then I turn on my farms, manufacturing plants and retail chains, and my stock value soars right up once again.

Moral of story

Do you think there's any deception going on in the world's governments? Quite possibly.

I believe the US are borrowing like there's no tomorrow, because there will probably be no tomorrow, at least for the USD.

If I was the US government in a game of Trevor Chan's Capitalism 2, I would borrow an extremely massive amount of money, build up my economy, attract investors, then turn off my economy for a while, watch the value of the dollar plummet and then pay back my debts at a few cents in the dollar.

Wouldn't you do the same?

Seems like very hard economic conditions leading up to October 2011.

Using Some Imagination

2011-04-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

One day, at some place, I imagined my body, to be 'ripped'. (Half way to shirt busting muscle flexes)

Dwelt on that for a little while. BUT, (Takes a lot of work + maintenance)

It did not make me happy, nor did it make me smile. (All the hard work for this?)

Therefore I shall not pursue.

The Ombudsman

2011-04-19T04:05:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I was hit with a massive text which said: "Please call 1300786987 urgently to avoid a temporary suspension of your services. Current months spend is 622.03. Thank you."

I called up, and found that I had used 300mb on mobile when the lady at the shop mixed up the sim card transfer process . She did not put me on Internet and as a result I have a $622.03 bill for the month (long story short).

So, I called up THREE, and told them my issue.

After a long conversation, I said: "Is there anybody who can help me, or I can speak to??"

Indian guy: "No, absolutely not. Vodafone and THREE are completely different services. I cannot help you, even if you speak to my supervisor, he will tell you the same."

I said: "Oh you can't help me.... Okay, I'm going to have to call the Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman, okay?"

Indian guy: "Oh... can you hold on, let me talk to my supervisor." (Indian guy talks with supervisor)
Indian guy: "I have spoken to my supervisor, and I confirm that we can offer you $150 credit off your bill."

I: "Nup no good."

Indian guy: "Let me talk to my supervisor." (Indian guy talks with supervisor)

Indian guy: "How about $200 discount off your bill?"
I: "No good."

Indian guy: "How about $300 discount off your bill?" (like I was trying to purchase my bill, $300 off!)

I: "Absolutely not." And I hung up.

- Called up the Telecommunications Ombudsman (www.tio.com.au)

- Lodged my dispute.

- Immediately notified THREE of the dispute (and probably charged them for it)

- They immediately disallowed THREE to charge my account, which was due the next day.

- THREE called back the next day, to waive the debt + give me free 2GB data per month.

Conclusion:

For any type of complaint within Australia, there is always a certain type of Ombudsman ready and willing to take your dispute.

There's all types of ombudsmen.

Water Ombudsman, Energy Ombudsman, Insurance Ombudsman, Airline Ombudsman, Police Ombudsman, you name it, you got it.

Disputes lodged with an Ombudsman, will usually be resolved faster with better outcome, because the longer and unhappier the dispute process is between you and the service provider you are unhappy with, the more the Ombudsman will charge that service provider. +, the Ombudsman is always a free service.

Indians Taking Over Melbourne

2011-03-18T03:02:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever felt like they are in INDIA while waiting for a train at Southern Cross Station? Or at Flinders St Station? Or even at Melbourne Central?

I have. And it feels great.

Check out this sound clip talking about Indian culture:
Guy Talks About What Indians Say When They Are Excited

I agree with him that Indian culture is great, will likely find myself in India in a few years time, to check it out for myself.

Elderly and Disabled

2011-02-08T03:43:00.001-08:00

You see the signs on top of certain seats on trains that tell you to give your seats to the Elderly and/or Disabled. You happen to be sitting down on one of these seats next to the train door.

And then you see this guy, who looks kinda old, because he has white hair, but he kinda doesn't look that old, as in he looks like he wouldn't mind standing up for a 20 minute train ride.

You're not looking directly at him, but you can feel his eyes skim towards your direction a few times, because all the other Elderly and/or Disabled seats nearby all have elderly and/or disabled people sitting in them.

What do you do?

Do you:

(A) Stand up and offer the man a seat, and offend him for telling him that he's old? OR

(B) Remain seated and act like you didn't see the guy, and offend him by not letting him sit?

Pictures of the Time Frames

2011-01-23T02:29:00.000-08:00

My mailbox, on a rainy day.

Perceived to be a Chinese driver.

During a game of Hide and Seek (!) =]

I wish Boaz was the dad, and I was Boaz.

Naomi and Grace interested in cicadas at a young age.

Camera definitely used much less while in Australia, but getting used more and more.

One World Currency

2011-01-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

According to certain sources:

The leaders of the world met together last year to formulate a plan to dump the US dollar. The announcement for the One World Currency is coming very soon either this year or the next, and the adoption of the One World financial system will follow soon after.

Simple details in brief:

1. Euro to collapse

2. Collapse to domino across the Atlantic, and the USD will collapse up to 70%

3. The greatest depression of the history of the United States to strike

4. One World Currency to be put in place

First, watch the Euro collapse. I believe it's coming in 2011/2012. All the best.

Came Across This Ad

2011-01-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

Which is advertising for a design job.

Check it out:

"I am Digital graphic Artist and website developer. I create design in A5 size with image. Graphic designing is my passion and web developing is my profession.

I provide you image source with all layers in psd file format so you can easily edit them later. I will prefer to provide all three important file format(.png, .gif, .jpeg) of each graphic art because I know in various condition we need different type of image file format.

I create image for you with my extreme power of creativity."

Nice eh?...especially that last line there.

2011 is here. We are in the eleventh hour.

Refreshing Self Discovery

2010-12-09T23:34:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my brother about owning a cat. I listed to him all the advantages of having a cat over a dog. Here are some:

1. Doesn't eat too much

2. Doesn't require walking

3. Doesn't require showers

4. Doesn't require cleaning up after

5. No saliva drools

6. Doesn't bark

7. Kills cockroaches

8. Can sleep on the bed without shedding too much fur

Just to list a few...

I: "So I want to get a cat, what do you think?"

He said: "I know why you want a cat. You want a cat because you like the feeling a getting rejected."

I: "... ..."

"It may seem like you like to be accepted, but deep down, and in secret, you long to be rejected."

(Cats are known to reject people, a fact.)

.......

I must say, he is correct, to an extent, of which I do not know how much of.

Wow Abe, thanks! Good to discover things about yourself.

I also realize that many people do not understand themselves as well as you may perceive them to understand themselves.

Weight Watch!

2010-11-22T21:15:00.000-08:00

5 year weight watch comes to fruition:

2005 - 60kg

2006 - 63kg

2007 - 68kg (after Taiwan trip, I believe)

2008 - 66kg

2009 - 74kg (after China trip, definitely. I don't believe i was 70+kg in Feb 2009 in Malaysia)

2010

Jan - 75kg (in Taiwan)

Mar - 74kg

May - 74kg

Aug - 73kg

Nov - 70.5kg

Could be loss of muscle, but i prefer a loss of fat! (Doesn't everyone? Even this ultra skinny guy reader that I know JP)

How i think i can lose fats: move very fast at timed intervals e.g. punch the air for 5 seconds, take a rest for 10 seconds. Fats just don't like that and want to be lost asap.

Evaluation Of A Game

2010-11-01T05:22:00.000-07:00

Hey hey check out this game!

After playing this game quite extensively, I have learned a valuable lesson. (No reviews for the game available in this post.)

---------

Lesson:

1. If I lose the game, I get angry (not angry angry, not that dumb to get angry at a piece of software, just a bit arrgg!).

And I:

- Think about how I can do better next time

- Think whether I should lower the difficulty level

2. If I win the game, I feel empty - the i-wanted-to-beat-you-computer-to-show-off-my-skill-but-now-you-are-dead-and-can't-see-how-great-i-am-not-that-i-get-satisfaction-from-showing-computer-players-my-greatness-anyway type empty.

And I:

- Think whether I should raise the difficulty level

- Reminisce about all of the moments where I kicked the computer's ass, and how I can do more of that in the next difficulty level

---------

As you can see the cycle goes on and on, in that if I lose, I feel angry (how could the computers cheat like this!!?) and go to an easier difficulty level. After going to the easier level, I win, and I feel empty, and want to play a harder level. Either win or lose, I gain negative emotions.

Does it ever end?

Yes. I shall not play this game anymore (in the short to medium term).

Great Massage

2010-10-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

Great massage is in the persistence.

For me.

Shite Kudasai! Nani Ka Omoshiroi

2010-10-06T04:43:00.000-07:00

FINALLY ordered one of these!

It wasn't so nice. But when the boss comes out and announces the dish name for you, it sure is worth it.

The Internet

2010-09-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

"I have so many emails to check everyday. I have so many email accounts to check everyday. I have so much news i need to feed on that constantly updates. There are so many updates on sites related to school, work, play, hobbies - such that after i check everything i need to check, i need to go back to the start to check it all over again, because people keep updating content and sending me emails, and stuff."

Sound familiar?

Well, it's not me.

Fat Lag Effect

2010-09-09T06:11:00.001-07:00

I believe the human body has a fat lag effect. Which means the certain body fat increasing or decreasing activities will not take effect until a 3-4 weeks later, while this period does depend on the individual.

SO,

for the eater: don't be too glad when you've eaten a huge amount of food and see no added fats to your body within a few days.

for the exerciser: don't be too discouraged when you've exercised a huge amount and see no decrease of fat within... immediately =]

Brilliant Advertising

2010-08-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

Today, came across an ad campaign for an Arnotts product in the city, but didn't have a camera!

It is very effective.

Here it is:

"Random. But Right." Haha!

Made me laugh because it seems random, but not really very right. In fact, it seems kinda wrong... BUT in a good way.

Don't forget to blog.

Forty Hour Famine Specials

2010-08-07T05:55:00.001-07:00

Hello,

Today three PLC girls ding-dong'ed my doorbell twice, very rapidly and hard. I caught them leaving just as I opened the door, and they said:

"Oh, hi. We're from PLC and we are doing the forty hour famine. We were wondering if you could donate some loose change for our cause."

Not a question, but a statement. So i said: "Yes." Then asked what they were going to do for the forty hour famine.

One of the girls said: "I'm going forty hours without food, she's going forty hours without internet, and..." and was interrupted by one of the other girls, who said: "and I'm doing fingers."

... "What? Fingers?"

"Yes I'm going to tape my fingers together for forty hours, so i can't use them."

Hahahaha. I think the original method - food is still the most difficult.

The 4:8 Principle

2010-07-22T16:28:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I went on a band camp type graduation, where all of the members retreated to a place to prepare for their final group performance of music and dance. It was in a place with big animals, especially groups of dogs, and other big things like pincer crabs, which walked funny and clucked its pincers together a lot. I took lots of photos and videos so that I can compile them when I get back. (The day before I was looking for golden retriever wallpapers on google but could not find any good ones!)

The place was like a typical camp, with a hall, cabins, dining hall, camp food, main area to play in, stairs, girls rooms and boys rooms. I did not know any of the people there. And none of them knew who I was. After a lot of playing around, I came to this place where I found a variety of real life high quality masks of faces of the girls and boys in the camp. I admire them for a brief moment, and came to one which looked particularly pretty. It was very pretty. She must be very pretty too, in real life.

So I tried on the fit. I matched the forehead line with mine and covered the line with the fringe. The scalp fitted nicely between my ears, and the long hair draped over my ears. The face mask was just a piece of skin, and it came with all the features such as the outlined eyes, lips, lipstick, blush, cheek contours, and the fit was perfect. I also changed into a dress.

I walked outside and to no surprise, no one thought I was abnormal. I was a girl. I attended the final musical practice in the main hall. Some boys commented that I looked a bit tired, and some said that I looked pretty. A visit to the bathroom showed me that the facial foundations was getting a bit smudged, and that there was makeup on my hair! I quickly washed my hair, kept it wet, and let it hang down and straight. Another look in the mirror, saw a beautiful young girl, with good smiles, bright face, lovely hair and big eyes. Soon I was out again in that practice session, but this time practising the way I should move, or the way a girl of my type would move. It started from the gentle manouevres from side to side, to the elegant steps, to the eyes not looking higher than the horizon, to the dusting of my dress, to the flick and fix of my hair, and at times to the self handhold position that covered my crotch (because it looked bulgier than a normal girl’s). After that I was mixing with the girls and having much fun. It all felt soo free and fully liberating.

The end of the band camp was drawing near. Kevin Rudd performed in the last musical, where he had no idea what was going on. But his son made him say all sorts of things, uncharacteristic of him. Then some guys tried to kill me simpily because they found out that I was the main character of the dream, but they were all defeated at the touch of my hand (i.e. fell to the floor via a flip, twist or turn and groaned to themselves). It was a lovely dream. At the time I videoed the big animals, I really thought I could take them home to edit!

“…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

The characteristics of my ideal girl has seven. She is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, which is praiseworthy. And I shall think of her all the day long.

Thank you.

p.s. this post, after writing it, is dedicated to Amoz A, who usually shows much keenness to get into a girl's mind to understand what she is thinking.

Your Power Is Weak, But Your Integrity Is Strong

2010-07-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

I was having a cruisy time one afternoon down in Box Hill, where i saw:

Senior man getting frustrated over something =]

Then came across the Louis' Economy Shop, which is the direct competitor of Super Bargains, which has recently changed its name to Crazy Bargains (because 'Super' most probably didn't sound cheap enough). Here it is below:

And then:

Louis' Economy Shop is now on Facebook. HAHAHA.

I found that funny, as i did this:

(Only realized the 'Sam Hu' in the photo was a girl, only recently!!)

I Love Taiwan Restaurants

2010-07-07T23:00:00.000-07:00

Because:

Big dogs come up to sit next to your table

There's a dog outside most stores

They like to block the door to get all the attention

And eagerly anticipate customers' FOODS in a well trained manner!

Plus there are cats that lie on the bar counter

These cats also don't mind eating ON THE SAME TABLE as customers

And sleep all over the dishes (because the dishes are being warmed - they are really asleep!)

And go actively go after the customers' foods

Woah! Did you check out those animals in the restaurants??

Animal Restaurants in Taiwan should be a Taiwanese specialty.

Spa For Sale

2010-06-20T18:34:00.000-07:00

We are selling our spa! Didn't know we had a spa did you? We've only used it once since moving into this house, SO when we opened up the lid of the spa we found:

very stale water - water that looked like it was past its expiry date
mouldy floaties
roaches (also floaties)

This was after we cleaned it out of course.

But, on the topic of spas, check out one of our competitors on the trading post.

Hahaha... @ the shadow of the guy taking the photo

Abe said that this was a poor listing.

Containers Hahaha

2010-06-10T00:09:00.001-07:00

So i'm studying Java on the internet at the moment (something you do when the lectures aren't so helpful) for my Java subject, and i found something really funny.

OK so we're talking about Java J2EE containers, which are virtual application environments that provide enterprise level services to an application.

Containers were a hard concept to grasp because it was program modeling, virtual, J2EE, technical, information systems architecture, so I needed to look up more information.

And behold...

'Ads by Google' was advertising Aussie shipping containers on a J2EE Java container information website!!! I did laughed out loud at that one.

Talk about targeted advertising! (by Google)

Force-Adopt as New Action - New Sister!

2010-05-31T01:17:00.000-07:00

Alright. So in Taiwan I adopted a little sister, by default.
By default, because this aunty really wanted to adopt me as her son. And she did.

But my new adopted little sister didn't like being my new adopted little sister, because 1) it was by default and not by permission, and 2) she didn't like me anyway (like most 12 year olds). But too bad, she didn't have a choice!~xo

Therefore, i was very happy that i have a small sister to play with!

So here she is:

That's one shy girl. But only at first.

After she got to know me better, she wouldn't stop pinching, hitting, tickling, and annoying me. Or pretending to dislike me (pretending!).

So to make it a two-way relationship, I pretended to dislike being pinched, hit, tickled and annoyed, which was sometimes hard to do. Hahaha. (Now, if she can occasionally say some sweet things, it would be perfect!)

May It Be Filled With Lots And Lots Of Unexpected Double Happiness!

2010-05-15T02:56:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday messages appreciated!
Random birthday messages appreciated!
Interesting thought-pattern-following messages appreciated!

This year, and some of the previous years, i thought that the son's birthday should be for the MUM. To celebrate for the MUM! It would make a lot more sense.

So here's what i did for my birthday.

Receive Love Packet

And...

Beating Abe in Cricket - hohoho

Of course.

Oversimplified Yet Effective

2010-05-06T17:37:00.000-07:00

There are these types of emails floating around telling us receivers that the senders have an 2 million dollar inheritance, but need our help to transfer it to their account. As compensation for our efforts, we will be rewarded a portion of the 2 million inheritance.

Usually these emails are a few paragraphs long, and are very much the same - it's about time that they change the style and format.

Here, is one I had never seen before (and decided to move it from my junk mail to my inbox):

Hahaha. Oversimplified, yet super effective.

Posing with Grandpa Chen in park

Male airport security flirting with female counter staff at Taipei Airport

Google Trends - How To Make Bombs

2010-04-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

Today we want to look at the worldwide trends of Google searches on “how to make bombs”.

Take a look at the results from www.google.com/trends

>> We can see that this search query has been decreasing since 2004, which can lead us to these possible conclusions:

People are feeling less threatened by bomb maker
People have less interest in making bombs
People who used to search for the term “how to make bombs” now know how to make bombs, so have no need to research it anymore. Scary.

>> We also see that the biggest search interest has come from Australia, New Zealand, United States and Canada. This leads us to these possible conclusions:

All the other nations (those we thought would be interested in bomb-making) ALL already know how to make bombs
Many bombing terrorists have resided in these countries and have been researching and perfecting the art of bomb-making for the past 6 years.

OR
Bombing terrorists are not really from where you think…

Weird Jewish Naming

2010-04-21T01:36:00.000-07:00

I realized one day that many English proper names of today were once derived from very traditional Jewish names.

Few examples below:

Daniel
Esther
Hannah
Nathan
Josh
Samuel
Simon
Peter
David

On the same day, I asked myself the question: would Jewish people find it weird that a significant number of people in western civilizations are giving their kids Jewish names (rather than a name like as Frank, Clive or Melvin)?

I didn't really find it weird, until I imagined an American couple naming their first child Confucius (a Chinese derivative). Now that would be weird (!!)

I assume that you are Chinese, if you're reading this post.

Cricket Cricket

2010-04-15T04:05:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by something that a friend said in a train conversation about cricket coaching for year 7s and 8s at Wesley College.

He said: "Cricket coaching is great. But i'm like the worst coach ever. Every single time, at the end of the trainings, i would be like: OK BOYS. IT'S MY TURN." (Referring to: 'my turn to bat')

Hahahaha.

Inspirational.

You Need Trace Minerals

2010-04-06T00:36:00.000-07:00

A quick one today.

"Intensive Salad"... !

Some more crazy cuts. This time, with Jine, Otis, and Bigi.

At this shop, you get tariffed for taking on "Ear-picking Services"

And lastly, you need trace minerals! Roommate very excited about trace minerals

Headaches No More Over Allocation of House Chores

2010-04-01T00:38:00.000-07:00

Because boys are generally bad with doing house chores, but still need to do house chores, we have come up with a new system for house chore allocations. View in picture below.

As you can see, it's a chore matrix. Nicely hand drawn.

And then we paper-scissors-rock off every box. Hahaha. Like this.

My mum was getting very worried at one stage that one of us was going to get all the chores for the month.

Abe told my mum to let probability handle everything.

Abe gets good allocations, so the reverse for me.

And it (probability) did it for him! (A very happy Abe)

Helps keep things (and the chores) exciting every week.

To Maximize Utility

2010-03-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

Define: utility
In economics, utility is a measure of the relative satisfaction from, or desirability of, consumption of various goods and services.

1. You have two peaches in your lunch box.
2. You plan to eat both of them one after the other.
3. One of which is sweet and one of which is not so sweet.
4. But pretend that you didn't know that - you have no idea whether each individual peach is sweet or not.

Question:
By eating which peach first, will you maximize utility?

My personal answer is:
The sweeter peach first.
Because while eating the first sweet peach, i will be thinking about the sweetness of the second peach. Mmm...

And that to me, is value.

The Days After the Chinese Revolution

2010-03-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

The movie "The Day After Tomorrow" (2004) was such a success that it was translated into many other languages - with one of the other languages as Chinese.

Here is the poster you would see in Taiwan.

The movie title is translated into "明天過後", which literally means: 'after tomorrow is past', which makes a lot of sense.

----------

And here is the poster you would see in China.

"后天" ??!!
Hahahahahahaha. That's so weak (and funny)!!!

p.s. sorry to those who don't understand Chinese. Also, I don't mean to offend the readers from mainland China (edit: who would be reading this after migrating out of mainland China).

Add NT$5 For Bubbles

2010-03-01T04:53:00.000-08:00

Food manicure! And the 'Ear Plug' service gives some unpleasant imagery =]

No thank you, don't have the time!

Incredible web URL! Tremendously disadvantaged business!

"Add NT.5 for Bubbles"! Hahaha. Why would you want bubbles??

Two months in Taiwan seemed like a lonnnggggg dream. Alongside with all the people i met. They seemed fictional.

I'll be back.

Roommate Diary

2010-02-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

About Roommate

Name: Jun Ting Lin (Junts)
Age: 24
Ethnicity: Taiwanese

He lives with me in the same apartment in the same room. And we share everything together, including stuff inside the apartment, which include jokes and fun times, clothes and foods, taxis and friends. Good times in 2010.

X --- Here are "Lin Jun Ting's Top 10 Qualities" from what I have observed as his roommate for months:

(1) Cleans and tidies room regularly. Super clean guy. No complaints about my mess, because he cleans it up.
(2) Humbler than most - humbly agrees with suggestions and criticisms many a times.
(3) Understands brokenness. Can sympathize with people in difficulty.
(4) Doesn't take up much space. If our room is 6 x 7 m squared, then he takes up about 2 x 3 m squared! (Work out the maths) I completely take over the room in terms of stuff. That's a super good roommate!
(5) Needs little face among strangers. Doesn't care about what strangers think of him. And can sing very loud in public with little hesitation.
(6) Patient. When browsing books together, listening/singing a song, listening to a story, he will wait for the finish before moving onto something else.
(7) Doesn't mind snorers. Although he tells me that i snore every night, i can tell that in his tolerance, he really doesn't mind.
(8) Content with any food. He even eats the ginger, cooked in soups, and anything that appears in the bowl.
(9) Gifted song writer. He writes one song a week. He sings til 2am in the morning, and thinks about songs.
(10) Knows how to hang out with older people. Attends 28yrs+ cell groups.

X --- Here are his bad qualities as observed in the past months:

(a) Brushes his teeth for 20 minutes - and that's 19+ minutes too long, way way too long.
(b) Likes to take off all his clothes when he gets back to the apartment (at least its helped me to be more open).
(c) If "overreacts around cute animals" doesn't count, then that's all i can really think of...

Jun Ting brushing teeth with no clothes on

Overjoyed holding a big cute sleeping giraffe

Forgets an appointment with his teacher and looks embarrassed

Taking care of his girlfriend's aquarium in facebook's "開心水族箱". Cute!

Abe comes back to the dorm and greets Jun Ting, as per usual.

Gets a nice hug for coming home! And Abe looking awkward in front of the camera.

*** Recommended Roommate [STAMPED - VERIFIED]

Dirty Dealings

2010-02-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

For some people,

1. Playing dirty can help with forgiveness. Because since they also did something sneaky to the 'opponent', there is wrong on their behalf to absorb the anger caused by what the 'opponent' did to them.
example: in a school yard fight

2. Being less hygienic when younger can improve health on the way to maturity, and during maturity. Because the immune system would have had more chances to familiarize itself with germs in acceptable doses.
example: fully gripping and turning off the public toilet taps after washing hands

"I would rather be a beggar and single, than a queen and married." - Elizabeth I

2010-02-08T03:01:00.000-08:00

"The thief is no danger to a beggar."
"It is a beggar's pride that he is not a thief."

Question: Do Taipei beggars serve any benefit to the city of Taipei?

Long Answer: Ambiguous. Reasons as below:

A1. Earn more money per hour than a worker at McDonalds.

2. Save very little of money earned.

3. Spend a lot of money earned. Very liquid. Great for nearby shops.

B1. Stirs up more of a giving spirit in the hearts of Taipei people.

2. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Great for givers.

C1. A way to fulfill the need to 'do good' in Taipei. Makes people feel important.

D1. However, negative impacts are inconclusive. Therefore cannot say whether beggars bring about higher welfare or not.

Short Answer: Yes!
When they (beggars) cheerfully give to those in need.

Hahahaha

Beggars are fantastic.

Your Fantastic Feeling

2010-02-01T20:33:00.000-08:00

When you kneeled with your face planted to the ground, and you cried uncontrollably, the tears and snots and saliva flowed up your forehead, and streamed onto your hair.
And later, when you got up, they hardened as hair gel.

It was a fantastic feeling, for you.

Don't judge yourself.

Increased Security Patrols and Devices

2010-01-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

A father and mother were walking with a son in a park. And the conversation was something like this:

Father: If you don't stop saying dirty words, we are going to go home right now.
Son: I didn't say any bad words.
Father: Yes you did, don't lying.
Son: I didn't say any bad words!
(Policeman suddenly appears on their left and just happens to catch a biker. As below.)

Father: 你看!! 那個叔叔一說髒話就被警察抓到了! 你在不閉嘴小心他等一下也來抓你! (See! That guy just got arrested for saying dirty words! Stop saying dirty words before he comes to catch you!)
Son: ( :S )

Hahaha!... so coincidental.

Nevertheless, check out this photo:

Can you see anything wrong with this photo?

...

...

OK OK it's the writing! (Yes we have it, once again)

Hahaha, this makes no sense!

I doubt that there would be devices that detect operating hand-held cameras. Therefore the 'detection devices' would most probably be security cameras...and "increased security patrols"?? Now we have more guys going into the toilet to 'check' stuff and more security cameras inside the women's toilets to enhance privacy!

Man if i was the Woman, i would read the sign, think for 2 seconds, look around, (stroke my chin hairs) and take a right!!

(btw, i have only seen this in one MRT station out of quite a few that i have been to.)

Too Cool for the 課輔 (Ke Fu - Tuition)?

2010-01-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

There was a lack of a teacher for one of the English tuition classes at the Church, so i volunteered to be the teacher for one class. I heard that it the kids were tough to handle, because they look something like this:

Students staring into space itself - pretty and cool boys

Looks too cool for 課輔 (tuition)? Pretty much yes, but check this out (!!):

Student shows off his English name in class. Probably the most peaceful name ever to be named.

Other kids had English names such as: Kaol, Window, Sommonade, Bocken, Mibiopoulis, Kube, and Soking. **

They all have their good and cute side, and they are all boys too.

Couldn't be anymore tuition-brochure-picture-standard than this

**Hahaha i wish, but at the end of class most of them preferred more normal names like James and Michael. Though, Garden is still Garden.

Good and Loyal Restaurant Guard Dog

2010-01-13T23:28:00.000-08:00

There was a guard dog sitting outside a barbeque restaurant.
And she was doing these sorts of things to the customers going in and out of the door (hahaha):

These weren't play bites, as i initially thought. They were real bites, but medium soft real bites - the type of bites retrievers use to hold onto ducks (and keep them alive) when they go duck hunting with owners.

Customers who come from the street to the restaurant door to pat the dog "oooh good dog, nice dog" later find that it probably wasn't a good idea. Because they "AHHCH!" get clamped pretty hard, and she doesn't let go!

So, a loyal dog. And it was a very nice feeling!

Good dog, right?

Very Nice Names - on the Name Tags Board

2010-01-11T05:42:00.000-08:00

Have found some interesting names on the Church name tags board (where name tags are stuck). Beware non-Chinese-English speakers, you will not be able to understand this post.

First up:

Names given based on surname! In Taiwan "蔡" means "shoddy"! "黃金進" is a good fix for a financial crisis (for the parents).

"雲招" sounds like a tai-chi move, while the pink names all sound very adventurous and explosive.

My favourite for last:

"武心甜". I discussed this name with 陳 Grandpa Chen. And he did not doubt that it means: 很會打架, 而且心又很甜 (skillful at fighting, and has a heart that is very sweet)

How very nice.

Bizarre Selling Fun

2010-01-07T21:24:00.001-08:00

Being away from home, i had to find some way of making some extra spending cash. So i decided to sell rings and accessories online! For girls, but they look pretty any hows.

The price for these rings and accessories range from $15.00 - $39.00.

Observe this email from one customer, after i said that i would send the item as soon as possible:

For a wedding!? How funny! Though i couldn't think ill of his character because i don't know very much about him (just his address, phone number and email).

But check out this feedback:

Snippet of feedback on Oztion

This made me laugh out loud! For several reasons:
1) the stuff i was selling was bad quality!! and i did not know that, because i had never seen the items.
2) Abe's always told me that i was a "seller of crap and useless stuff". So he was right.
3) the buyer still left me a positive rating
4) the buyer bought another item and was VERY HAPPY with it, hohoho.

No more selling for me. The profits are not worth the time, nor the customer complaints.

Nature Seekers 2009

2010-01-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

One day i took a visit to National Cheng Chi University of Taiwan, and took a look inside the library.

Which is where i found this:

It's the NCCU Nature Seeker Club section. It has nice picture decorations and hangings of nature.

But looking with bigger detail (!!), the nature they are "seeking" all belong to and are all inside the university. Students picking flowers, and note in particular bottom left picture - some 同學s looking at some on-campus trees of nature, ha-ha-ha --

Btw, Taiwanese boys' mannequin legs are very skinny. I can tell because the pants they wear are tight! Taiwanese boys' legs are also quite skinny, and would make the Aussie girls back home, very jealous. It also makes it harder for me to buy clothes, that fit, good.

Fully Hair Salon

2010-01-04T01:03:00.000-08:00

On certain main streets, there only exists the following stores (and nothing else): 7-Eleven, FamilyMart, English schools, Watsons (personal care store), hair salons, hair salons and hair salons. And multiples upon multiples of all of these. Therefore here, the most important things in life are fast foods and drinks, personal care, English and hair.

Speaking of which, there is something with Taiwanese hair salons and bad English.

"Fully" = 富麗! Not a grammar problem.

Haha - think of "scalp rituals" for one imagery, then imagine what "instant ritual" would be like!

There's a popular hair salon called: 亂剪 translated into "crazy/random cuts", which is quite cool, because cool people like to "wing" stuff and still look pretty cool. Like not study and still be all good, not patch their pants and still be all good, type.

Check out these staff names. There's Cora, Kiki, Mango, which are OK sounding. Then there's Wing... and Uni, Weico and BETA...hahaha.

P.S. a yakult here costs NTD $8 each (roughly AUD $0.29)!

A Lack of Bins Promotes Commerce

2009-12-27T21:12:00.001-08:00

Does reducing the number of bins on the streets promote commerce?

Join these words together.
1. Flyer marketers handing out flyers.
2. People take.
3. No bins to throw unliked advertising.
4. Throwing rubbish on the ground incurs a NTD$1000+ fine.
5. Puts flyer in pocket, or holds flyer.
6. Flyers end up at home.

Overall effect, advertising material viewed more times by potential consumers - a positive outcome for marketers in the short run.

In the long run, as people learn, they stop taking advertising materials, which leads to more creative ways for marketers to distribute flyers - including giving out a packet of tissues with advertising printed on top of the stack. These are hard to refuse for some potential consumers. But once again, the lack of bins provide nowhere to throw the printed advertising once the pack of 4 tissues are finished.

Thus, a lack of bins affects commerce ambiguously, in the long run.

Favourite Christmas Song Live

2009-12-23T23:39:00.000-08:00

It was required of me to write a recommendation letter for myself to my host before I arrived in Taiwan. After writing all the formal stuff, I wanted to add in my special interests, to give my host a better understanding of who I am. So I was thinking, thinking and I came up with the four following interests: 1. Eating fruits 2. Punching 3. Talking to strangers about special interests 4. Giving massages. I realized soon after that these interests can be connected and done all at once, as in: Eating fruits and punch-massaging, a stranger while talking to him about special interests. Of course, I didn't write any of this in the recommendation letter.

A lot of people in Taiwan wear mouth smocks to help reduce the amount of pollution being breathed into the body. I have tried a few times, and it not only relieves me of the traffic/factory/cigarette/general atmospheric pollution, but also gives me two new senses of freedom.

Firstly, there's the freedom which is similar to that of wearing sunglasses – which is the less people can see of you, the more secret you feel. Secondly, there's a freedom to say anything to yourself, and not be conscious of what other people think of you because people can't see your mouth move, and your voice is muffled. So for those times where I need to say things like “Oooh baby”, I have the full liberty.

I have discovered that Taiwan girls are prettier than I thought. Someone said a comment which I thought was quite fair: “Speaking of prettiness in the form of the makeup-less look, Taiwan girls come in the top few out of the typical Asian countries.” But, for me, unless I get to know the girl, there are only a few forms of pretty girls. In other words, to me, a lot of them look the same. This concept has inspired me to take photos of Taiwanese girls and label them into categories/types. If this does go ahead, I will NOT ask them if they would like to see their photos on my blog. Easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission, some of the times.

My favourite Christmas song, live.

2009-12-17T18:14:00.000-08:00

Taiwan breeds a culture of excellence. So therefore, one thing is for certain.

"English translation mistakes are very hard to find!"

In fact, i could find more mistakes in Melbourne taking a walk down a street of restaurants, Chinese or not.

But one other thing is for certain. That i will require to find other types of funny things to laugh at (and take photos of), and i also believe that every culture has cultural-specific habits/"traditions" that other cultures find ridiculous in humour.

The first sight of a welcoming Abe in Taiwan

I will update you often, about the new things that i discover.

Thanks.

p.s. a shower is not really required here...

Are You Sexually Biased?

2009-12-13T05:40:00.000-08:00

This post uses the term: "sexually biased"

TBC...

Girls - by Sam

2009-12-02T23:33:00.000-08:00

My dad talks to me about girls. I like to talk about girls with my dad.

Some girls are nice, but not good to marry.
Some girls are good to be friends with, but not good to marry.
Some girls are stunningly beautiful, but are only good for looking from a distance.
Some girls are very able, helpful, generous, and pretty, but if you marry them, you will surely die.

My "Top 10" is set to slightly alter, 1 year on.

*Note: not applicable for all guys.

My Name is Sam Hu

2009-11-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

One day, I searched facebook for the number of "Sam Hu"s on facebook. There were many, to my surprise!

So i had an idea to create a facebook group with the name: "My Name is Sam Hu".

While inviting members to join, i, for the first time in my life, was sending personally addressed messages to individuals WITHOUT changing the name of the addressee! It was a funny experience.

It was funny also, because facebook thought i, personally and legitimately addressing other facebook members, was sending spam, because all my messages had the exact same content!

And therefore blocked my messaging capabilities for an undefined period of time! Too bad facebook's spam detection isn't as good as to detect that all the people whom i was sending messages to, were called Sam Hu.

Latest question from one of the Sam Hus' friends:

Hahaha!

Scammers Are Getting Smarter (HK Saga) - 香港詐騙集團

2009-11-09T05:10:00.000-08:00

There was a call that i received 3 months ago, that claimed themselves as the Hong Kong Tourism Bureau. The purpose of their call was to invite me to a grand opening ceremony of one of their programs - in Hong Kong of course. I said that i am not in Hong Kong. They said that i can watch it on satellite. I said that i don't have satellite. They said that i can go to a friend's house to watch it. I have friends. . .

Anyway, 1 month ago, they called again. And said that they are able to send some discount vouchers for tourism activities in Hong Kong. I said, okay send them over.

1 day ago, i received a letter, from the "Hong Kong Tourism Bureau". It looked like this from cover to cover:

Good-feel texture booklet, with nice colour.

Uses the HKTB website, as well as adopting their logo.

The booklet is very detailed, it even had this:

Free advertising for Tissot! This made me laugh.

There is a prize pool, on a particular page, and corresponding winning numbers. How to play, is scratch the silver off the silver scratch, and see if your codes match up with any of the winning numbers.
...
And guess what??

Check out the busy-looking "lawyer" photos, and how you sort of expect to win, with so many numbers to call.

Conclusions:

A. I really wonder what a chat would be like with one of those lawyers, when i call their hotline =].
B. Hong Kong scammers are putting in a lot more effort by sending colour brochures and even investing a 3 month time period in their clients!
C. These guys are continuing to operate and evolve in practices, because of some people in the world who are falling for their trick. Thence, here it is, EXPOSED.

I AM the Chinese Emperor

2009-10-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

>> Very recently, i conquered China via Sango XI, and became the Emperor.

It took about a week and a half. The map of China (rotated 45 degrees clock-wise) in the picture below shows the half way mark, where all the powers converged towards the middle to fight it out (i am the red colour).

Three lessons learned from my conquest:

1) To have absolutely everything, means absolutely nothing. The more i have, the more empty i feel. Maybe this is exactly how the Emperors felt - that's why they needed more and more women, and more and more women to satisfy the emptiness brought upon by all the previous women.

2) There is no one to share the joys of my conquest with. In my case, no one else that i know plays this game. Did Chinese Emperors share their joys of conquests with other Chinese Emperors?

3) Subordinates are impersonal. When one begins to hold supreme power, his previous relationships will begin to become supremely isolated. I could check my subordinate stats and abilities, and order them to do things for me. But i could not chat to them.. on a personal level. That's why i deleted the game.

In conclusion, games can sometimes bring more than learning of strategy and enjoyment.

Ground Breaking Discovery

2009-10-19T06:30:00.000-07:00

Ever since i came back from China, there has been a niggling little cripple in my left foot. I could not figure out why, at first, but recently i came to the understanding.

In Shanghai, i occasionally tested my strength, by carrying a 106kg guy, namely Daniel Wong from my cell group. I enjoyed doing it because it 1) tested my strength, 2) provides exercise purposes, plus 3) carrying friends on my back is what i like to do (but only works with certain people).

I remember once running up the stairs while carrying him on my back. And that was when i probably did my foot. NOW, why foot? You ask. The easy explanation is that my leg muscles are so strong, that the force crumples all the way down to my foot - just like for some people, their hands and arms are so strong that when they land on a hand stand position, the force crumples all the way into the ground, and the concrete underneath cracks (can you imagine??)

Global Energy Savers

2009-10-09T05:59:00.001-07:00

Two days ago, an Indian mid-20s man knocked at my door, and said politely: "Hi I'm here to change your current light bulbs into energy saving light bulbs for free. May i change them..."

I said: "Sorry, no thanks."
He asked me for a drink of water. I gave him the water, then he politely left. A very polite Indian man.

...

A few moments later, it hit me hard: I SHOULD HAVE ASKED HIM TO CHANGE ALL THE BROKEN LIGHT BULBS IN THE HOUSE!! ARGS!

So effectively he would have come to fix my lights, for free. [ Smile Smile ]

Make-up Applications

2009-10-07T00:54:00.001-07:00

After being exposed to what make-up can do for a girl, i now must look longer and harder.

Thanks,

Chinese A-Z II (Continued...)

2009-09-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

"H" stands for Chinese HR Development

It is not uncommon that staff are called to line up outside the shop during a break to receive periodic instructions and training.

"I" stands for Chinese In Shock and Awe

Families and individuals shocked and awed by BMX tricks show. Don't forget to zoom in on the striped jumper kid.

"J" stands for Chinese Jousting

Chinese kung fu jousting at the historical Hu Lao Guan - with great skill indeed.

"K" stands for Chinese Kittens

Kittens can be found all over the campus. And they are not scared of you.

But they do mind being picked up. This one, i force hugged.

"L" stands for Chinese Literal Translations

"Obesity Hot Pot"? Offensive to obese people, while repulsive to everyone else.

"M" stands for Chinese Mercenary Motorbikes

You can hire these cheap mercenaries to go for a killer ride - 5 yuan for 2km. These riders don't stop at anything, literally - not oncoming buses, roadblocks nor red lights. I call that experience.

"N" stands for Chinese North Korean Quintet

What are these North Koreans doing on the performance stage? Aren't they meant to be in North Korea? Strictly, no. There are tens of North Koreans in Fudan University.

"O" stands for Chinese One-Mao-At-A-Time Change Giver

Hummm...

The Reality of Facebook Friends - An Experiment

2009-09-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Experiment Topic: The Reality of Facebook Friends

Aim: To find out how much of a friend a person must be to become another person's friend on Facebook.

Hypothesis: To the level of an acquaintance

Method:

(1) Start an alter ego account in the name of Andrew *********

(2) Add 150 people at random, from One Piece interest groups.

(3) Post links and status updates.

(4) Respond all wall posts and messages in a friendly manner.

Results and Findings:

i) Only 3 people (out of 150) messaged to ask how they know me i.e. "Hi, where have we met before? Where do i know you from?"

ii) About 90% of the 150 accepted my friend request, and that number comes to about 135.

iii) A further 15+ people request me to be their friend.

iv) In 14 days i had around this many friends on Facebook.

v) 12 people wished me a happy birthday

vi) And finally, 13 people tagged me in their 'All my friends' photo via the 'All my friends' Facebook application. 13 people - significantly more than the number of people who tagged me in the 'All my friends' on my real account.

Conclusion:

a. It is very possible and extremely easy to become Facebook friends with people you have never before met in real life.

b. People generally don't mind adding random friends on Facebook.

c. Having more friends on Facebook can help a person gain more confidence for making friends in the real world.

"You Are What I Never Knew I Always Wanted"

2009-09-23T02:12:00.000-07:00

Boys do not stand in a position to comment on whether they are attractive to girls or not.
Because they are boys.

And, the same with girls regarding boys.

Brotherly Love

2009-09-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of fun stuffing around with my brother. As shown below:

Above picture is my brother doing stupid things. Or 3 of the 4 pictures above, actually.

During our family holiday in August, Abe has finally come to accept that brothers can and do hug.

"The Average Person Thinks He Isn’t"

2009-09-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

1. I have to say, truly, this is the first time i've ever seen Chinese people line up.

You can see the line wiggling up and down, and extending out of the photo. Chinese shoppers lining up for a bus? Totally rare and i was very pleasantly surprised!!

2. And this is what we get up to in our spare time.

That's right, my brother and i fight a lot. Also a lot of verbal abuse on the lines of somebody being stupid, or fat.

3. 'Deception' paints funny imagery in my head. And it's happening in my neighbourhood. I wonder what types of deception my neighbours are falling for.

Breathing Technique

2009-09-02T01:43:00.000-07:00

I've been known to not be able to run long distance.
--> Today i figured out why.
--->I forget to breathe.

Today, i ran home from the station, and i wasn't tired after i was home, carrying a bag. I used the breathe(in + in + out) technique.

Figured it out after all these years (!!) ...and my facial expression --> %$_@*

Reverse Culture Shock

2009-08-29T02:51:00.000-07:00

The biggest reverse culture shock i have received after coming back to Australia is:

--> When i walk towards someone who is walking towards me, i steer right. And i hit them, sometimes. It has never been so severe before.

That is all.

Going on to another topic, birthday gifts and cards can be given to me at any time of the year (not that i'm expecting them).

Here's one i received not long ago.

Thanks girl and boy. Something weird like this is so fascinating to me.

Chinese A-Z II

2009-08-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

"A" stands for Chinese Aerobic Morning Exercisers

Man dances shamelessly in mall walkway

Old energetic people doing some early morning taichi - out of sync

"B" stands for Chinese Bikey Gang

Took a while for these men to line up and pose - inside 'old-style street' of Shanghai

"C" stands for Chinese Christian Revival

Anymore obvious, and this shop would close down

"D" stands for Chinese Drinks Deliverer

Men who deliver these drinks usually have very very strong leg muscles, however little they may seem

"E" stands for Chinese Exotic Bird Performance

Sequence of events: (1) Customer pays bird owners money, (2) bird owners go onto the boat and order the birds to jump into the water, (3) birds look for fish in the water and come back up after 10 seconds, (4) if the birds don't come out of the water with fish, the customer gets their money back

"F" stands for Chinese Foreigner (at the Markets)

The t-shirt the 'lao wai' foreigner is wearing says: "No DVD, No Watch, No Souvenir, No Handbag, No Sunglasses, No Tattoo, No... Maybe Massage"

"G" stands for Chinese Garden Water Waster (!)

Man wasting water in Fudan University - On-lookers not impressed

(Picture of the time frame - but it is too wide!) Wonder Girls - look it up Google

Rememberer of Friends

2009-07-22T05:26:00.000-07:00

This time round, for Shanghai, i took a picture of each card i gave out.
So that i can remember what each person meant to me, in 2009.

www.reviewseven.com

Sam's Favourites Shanghai

2009-07-19T18:19:00.000-07:00

In this post are my top 10 handpicked 'favourites'!

A 'favourite' is not necessarily someone i hang out with, or necessarily someone i like. A 'favourite' is someone who has a certain weird/strange/funny character quality that stands out to me. So if you are in the list, it doesn't mean that i like you =] (!!).

Anyway...

For each person, i will use a few descriptive words to describe them.

Take a look.

1. Zaya - Mongolian, aged 21
Tags: Hugely good at dancing, cute expressions, one of those girls i just want to take photos of

Like a little kid

2. Aditya Dirgo - Indonesian, aged unknown
Tags: Looks funny

3. Clara (Claz) - Australian, aged 22
Tags: Energetic, bouncy, moves and stands funnily sometimes

Looks like a bird!

4. Mika - Finnish, aged 24+
Tags: Simple and innocent, makes funny actions
The below is a sequence of photos showing a tired Mika trying to sleep on a long public transport journey. But it was hard. Hohoho.

(what the!) ??

5. Ryu Ei - Japanese, aged 23
Tags: Tremendously shameless and pure laugh, finds more things funny than the average person

6. Michael - Chinese, aged 20
Tags: Big big smile, bounces up and down when he sings, doesn't mind people touching him (great quality)

7. Claire - Korean, aged 26
Tags: Genuine and 天真, cute small actions, has an American/Chinese/Korean English accent which is very imitation worthy, totally ignores guys who like her (good quality), my cell group leader

Small feet

8. Mark Cai (阿蔡) - American, aged 23
Tags: Says random things, witted humour, unconformed perspective of life

9. Xiu Yan (Soo Yeon) - Korean, aged 22
Tags: Cute, cute small actions, shy, 天真, the one who took up the biggest percentage of my camera memory

10. Geoff - Australian, aged 22 (the guy on the very right)
Tags: Hilarious Chinese, fair conduct, very sociable

Big Experience Saturation

2009-07-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

For one of our final exams for a subject taught in English, a student asked the Chinese teacher whether it is an open book exam or a closed book exam. And the Chinese teacher replied in English: "Even if it was open book, do you have a book to open?" (Since people prefer to use money on things other than books =])

Hong Kong's Hillsong band from Hong Kong City Church visited our Church in Shanghai. As they played the song 'Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?', i noted the significance of the meaning of the lyrics sung in this particular song. That it is time for the Chinese underground Church to open up the doors and let the music play, and not be afraid of the authorities because the Church of Jesus Christ is a Church that carries power.

Here is a letter to my mum to summarize my overall experience of Shanghai:

Hi Mum,

Number of girls slept with in China: Zero.
I think that 花花世界 is not in the city.

Love, thanks and bye.

Son, Sam.

Healing of Shoulder Dislocation

2009-06-27T02:57:00.000-07:00

Archie Thompson with Cheer-leading Chinese girls

The Guangzhou Pharmaceuticals played Melbourne Victory, with score 2-1. Chinese soccer teams are good. During the game, defender Steven Pace was mistackled and dislocated his right shoulder. After the game, the dressing room was in silent panic for 30 minutes as two physios and a doctor struggled to relocate the shoulder. Steven was then sent to hospital immediately by the Pharmaceuticals' manager. In the car was also a physio, a doctor and a translator.

We jumped the queues at two quality private hospitals in Guangzhou. Chinese people like to jump queues (if there is a queue), but Chinese people don't like being jumped in a queue. As we jumped from 15th patient to 1st patient and entered into the x-ray room flap-doors, the Chinese patients (gotta give some of them some credit for waiting 1 hour+) swarmed us to the entrance like media mobs.

We visited two hospitals because the doctors in the first one could not relocate due to Steven's muscles being too big, such that the bones didn't have much space to move into the right socket. In total, we toiled for 4 hours, which included pulling, pushing, screaming, swearing, and despair. There was a time, when we were faced with a cross road, with the choices of attempting relocation one more time, or use a full body anesthetic for a full 10 hour in-house operation, which would have been troublesome since we had flights to Tianjin early in the following morning.

The decision made was to try relocation just one more time, and the doctors got into positions and began to pull and twist. I, who was tired from hotel/match/hospital translation for 12 hours without food or rest, moved in to rest one hand on Steven's left shoulder and said in my mind: "耶穌醫治你" (Jesus heals you) [Sounds way cooler in Chinese, it does]. And unexpectedly, within 0.8 seconds of saying that, a loud "pop" noise came from his right shoulder, and the room was filled with relief.

Healing Testimonies on the net
More Healing Testimonies on the net
(or search Google)

Unexpected, because at that time, i had small faith that the healing power of Jesus Christ would come upon Steven. Small faith yields small results. No faith yields no results. Big faith, would have been me saying: "耶穌醫治你" right at the start, and it would have yielded a big result.

And no, i do not believe that the two events: (1) the laying of the hand, and (2) the relocation of the right shoulder, were a result of a coincidence.

p.s.
1 second is singular
1.5 seconds is plural
0.5 seconds is plural
1.000 seconds is also plural

Shanghai University City

2009-06-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

The Shanghai University City is a university area that contains 7 universities in one single block!

Take a brief look.

This place is big. The buildings are beautiful. But so strange! There are no people. But anyway.

This guy Antonio, is the one who took me around. His face looks pretty cool if you zoom in. Tribute paid for hosting my stay!

Here in one of the canteens is the Staff Service Star Awards Top 5 Charts for the time frame. So from the left, the awards are:
Staff 1: Loved unconditionally and did her best to fulfill responsibilities
Staff 2: The same.
Staff 3: Picked up money and always returned it
Staff 4: Warmly intense service attitude
Staff 5: When she saw injustice, she always interferes to make justice.

Antonio later on told me that he runs an English conversation club. Antonio said that, basically what they do is 'talk some English', once a week.

And look at how the English conversation club turned out! They gathered, standing in a circle in the middle of the university garden and talked English for about an hour and a half. And the aim was to: improve English! And sometimes they invite guest speakers... and on today's occasion, the guest speaker, was me. (ha.ha.ha)

The dorms of this university city are awesome. For a portion of this city's students, they live in a moated dormitory area. And once they cross the bridge, they see 7 storey dorm upon 7 storey dorm.

The above is a photo of the room that is directly opposite to Antonio's. He mentioned that this room is famous for people playing computer games. I asked whether the four of the roommates in that room often gather to play together. Antonio's answer was: "關鍵不在他們是不是一起打, 關鍵再他們一直打." ha.ha.ha. (The key is not that they play together, the key is that they are always playing)

In this moated part of the university city dorms guys and girls live in separate buildings. There are about 40 dorm buildings, two of which are guys bulidings (that means 38 are for girls!). I found that truly amazing.

Above is a picture taken on the balcony of Antonio's room, with the background being a girls' dorm. There are many girls' dorms around this guys' dorm. And i can imagine what the guys all do at night, (since a lot of the girls would be in their rooms studying or relaxing or playing) i.e. chill out on the balcony... =]

If You Pay Peanuts, You Get Monkeys

2009-06-13T04:01:00.000-07:00

Prices in Shanghai breaks through the floor, and hits the foundations.

Here is an idea of how inexpensive Shanghai is.
The exchange rate is 1.00AUD = 5.50RMB

Bottled water - 1.00RMB
Chocolate milk (300ml) - 3.00RMB
Pork Bun - 0.80RMB
Dumplings (15) - 5.00RMB
Rice/Noodle Combos - 8.00RMB

Casual shirt - 20.00RMB
Good quality shirt - 30.00RMB
Sports shoes - 50.00-80.00RMB
Leather Jacket - 100.00RMB
Jeans - 60.00RMB

Taxi - 11.00RMB for first 3 km, then 2.10RMB for every km after that.

Shanghai is the priciest city in all of China. In Guangzhou, taxis are 7.00RMB for the first 3 km. You never have to think about whether to walk or to ride taxi anymore!

Working as a translator for Melbourne Victory Football Club was a great experience. My main role was basically to break down the communication barrier between the football club's members and hotel staff, bus drivers, football ground staff, and officials - most of the time, by translating!

Living in a 5-star hotel for 6 days can do nobody any good. The first day was great, the food was awesome all you can eat seafoods and meats, the king-sized room was massive indeed with all the facilities + room services. The second and beyond days were of the same awesomeness level, and it made me feel like i was on top of the world, because this was the life that every poor man would have aspired to.

But, i realized that living like this, did not make me happy. It was a pretty empty lifestyle - eat big food, live big house, get big service, do no housework and cycle that for your whole life. I'm glad that i was not born in a rich family, otherwise i might have ended up like that. Life fulfilment comes from purpose - the happiest people in the world are those who have an aim, hypothesis, method, and results (sorry too many research projects).

My Dad once said that he doesn't need to eat the good foods on the dinner table, because he knows what it tastes like, and once is enough.

Beijing Olympics 2008 was 3rd ever Summer Olympic Games to be held in Asia. It was estimated that approximately US$40 billion had been spent on the games, which would have made it the most expensive Olympic Games ever by a long way.

And you would have thought that they'd have cleaned up their act.

Pretty sure that isn't the way this lane works, nor the correct translation from the Chinese.

At the capital international airport of Beijing! The only definition i'd like of "handpicked" is "coffee bean picked by hand from the coffee plant".

"Come on, pay it. It's good for you!"

On a plane. But if it were for a taxi, taxis don't takeoff nor land.

Obviously not enough people are pressing the blue lever for water.

Superior door to door delivery method by JiaJu Carpets.

Chinese A-Z II coming soon!

左拐, 右拐, 直走 (!!)

2009-06-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

At the hair salon, i asked for a normal 'detailed' cut. The guy said ok. While he was cutting my hair, he told me about 15 times that this hair cut doesn't look good on me, and that i needed to 'upgrade' to a permanently spiked up hair style. And everytime i said, 'no thanks'. And after everytime i said that, he would say: "oh, oh...好吧" then tell me again 10 seconds later that the hair cut really doesn't look good on me! Which makes no sense since he was the one cutting it. Very funny.

Also, as Abe pointed out within 2 days of travelling in Shanghai, Chinese people are terrible givers of direction. If you ask anybody, where something is, they will point in a direction and say: "那邊" (there), or "左拐" (turn left), OR (!!) points in a general direction and says: "直走" (walk straight) *Max frustration!* and as Abe would say it: *hit head* "pcccchhht". hahaha. Then, if they are stationary, they look down, and if they are pedestrians, they begin walking very fast. Once i asked a walking guy: "Where is the subway station?" And before i finished asking the full question, he said: "不知道" (don't know), and changed angles to avoid me faster. But, when he realized that the subway station was in view (i did not see), he said: "Oh oh, 那邊", and sped off.

A few posts ago, i mentioned about an underground service with an out of tune keyboard. My mistake, i figured out on the second time going there that it was because the keyboardist was playing all the wrong notes! (mmm now that i think of it) ha.ha.ha.

Big flowers or accessories such as plants, butterflies, sparkling things look very pretty in girls' hairs. Don't you agree?

Coming up: Chinese A-Z II !

"Everything you need, nothing you don't"

2009-05-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

"Everything you need, nothing you don't" - Sign

Time remaining in Shanghai is 1.5 months, from a maximum of 4 months and 28 days. Here are my top 10 updates from Shanghai.

1. Am going to Tianjin and Guangzhou for a week to watch Melbourne Victory play Tianjin Teda and Guangzhou Pharmaceuticals (respectively, and what a name!).

2. Have stayed up all night more times than times before combined, for karaoke, and similar things. Have also karaoked more times than times before combined ever, because it is so cheap.

3. When i get into the elevator, i sometimes feel the elevator bounce up and down, just a little bit. My weight is maintained at 72kg.

4. Have consumed more alcohol than ever before.

5. Have been able to use singular projects for multiple subjects' research projects. Basic reason for that is because all my subjects are almost the same. In one combined subject, my subjects are called: Marketing Economics and Pricing.

6. There's a smell of Shanghai inside my nose. The smell comes from fumes, cigarette smoke, and certain foods. It is activated most when i drank coffee.

7. Hahaha. I had a crush on my cell group leader. She took out a significant portion of my check list, but i have to admit that it was a little irrational. Cell group still rocks.

8. I won't be able to buy clothes back in Melbourne, not that i really bought much. A few days ago i bought 4 quite nice shirts for $15. And it's even cheaper on the Chinese version of eBay, called Taobao. This site is much better than eBay, because most of the clothing listings have models wearing the clothes in many pictures.

9. I take pictures everyday to use as a picture diary, because it's much easier than writing a text one!

10. Considered that Shanghai is not the best place to find English grammatical mistakes, because Shanghai is the most westernized city in China. I do believe that there is a significant market for English grammatical mistakes, not in the sense of correcting it, but in the sense of viewing it!

Love you!

Chinese Photography

2009-05-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

[Zoom into this]

And my personal favourite:

Chinese Underground Cells

2009-05-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

My brother observed this when on the first few days of his stay in Shanghai: that Chinese people generally had a 'beaten down' look on their faces.

It's the facial look of long hours of work, pollution thrashing against the skin, good hard facial muscle workouts from shouting, putting on the resistive face when getting shouted at etc.

The Chinese still, are lovely people.

I was privileged enough to attend a Chinese underground Church cell in a remote suburb of Shanghai. And i saw a group of Chinese Christians gather for the first time.

The pastor's face shone like an angel. It was bright, and the smile was heavenly. It was very unlike the face i identified with 'Chinese'. The other people who went up to the front to speak and serve looked not at all beaten down.

The keyboard, which was the only instrument used to accompany the singing worship part of the night, had not one note in tune. Yet the group worshipped God in the singing. At certain times of the night, a lot of people prayed in a row. They prayed a long time, and the prayers were passionate, from their hearts.

The meeting was present with people who were hungry for God. I was very attracted to this atmosphere. And this taught me that in order to attract newcomers to meetings, it is more important that God is present in manifestation in that place, than good welcoming, connections and friendship building (which are also important).

No photos available to upload for underground activities.

Roommate!

2009-05-07T00:48:00.000-07:00

Before i came to Shanghai, i already knew that i was going to be living in a double room. Before i checked into the room at the dormitory, i had a certain expectation of my roommate. He was from an Asian country, for certain. BUT, when i checked into the room on my first day, i received a shock! He was so not the type of person i was expecting, and so not the type i wanted to have as a roommate.

Here is a photo of my roommate:

From left to right: Adrian, Xiu Yan, Gerald, Sam, Malik, Ann, Zhao Rong, Geoff - pretty awesome group.

And check out his profile! I was to live with this for 5 months!

Roommate Basic Profile

Name: Adrian Bosner
Hometown: Wernigerode, Germany
Languages: German, English and some Chinese
Age: 26
Relationship Status: Single

However once more, after living with him for about 7 days, everything changed. I could no longer live without him. My room needed him to feel complete. It would be so normal, if i went to some hotel somewhere in the world to stay, and to wake up with him on the next bed down.

Roommate Attributes

Likes to throw out rubbish, likes to mop the floor, cleans the bathtub, makes the bed, washes clothes regularly, keeps his area tidy, folds his clothes, helps me with homework, scrubs the windows, buys cleaning supplies, likes to chat regularly, is considerate for sleepers in the room, likes to watch TV, likes to imitate Chinese people, has been nominated for best 'movie trailer guy' voice.

Does not snore (unlike me), does not smell, does not overuse deoderant, is not stingy, does not invade private space, has not barged into the bathroom while i'm having a shower, is not annoying, does not over eat, does not dirty the bathroom floor (and asks me to close the shower curtains to maintain the bathroom floor's cleanliness).

There aren't many people in the dorm whom i think could potentially be better than Adrian as a roommate. He is the first German i have come to know.

Plus, i like his humour.

Surprising Chinese Business Tactics

2009-05-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

At a ‘shao kao’ restaurant, a group of non-Chinese friends and myself were sitting outside. A truck came reversing from a street and almost knocked into our table. A few of the girls screamed. The boss quickly ran from the inside to the outside the shop, and said to us: “Ah ah! Zhong guo ren mei you shui zhun. Bie gen ta men yi ban jian shi ~ heh heh heh.” ("Chinese people have no manners. Please don't mind them. *feeble laugh) I was amused by that because he would rather offend another Chinese, than let the situation affect his business.

Another time, my friend was making a short film, which required a few shots inside a fruit shop. We asked if we could film at that time, which was 3pm, and the shopkeeper said that we certainly could. But he added this interesting comment: “Please wait until about 4pm, then start the filming. Hao ma?” I was at first confused by that comment, because I thought that the less people inside the fruit store, the better, since we would not have to disturb their business so much. But what I realized later was that he actually wanted a lot of people inside the store during the filming, so that on the short film, it would look like his store was very popular, as opposed to nobody else being in the store. I found that funny.

A girl with a beautiful talking voice rides on the back of a bicycle.

I have heard and experienced a few of these incidents: A group of friends go to a restaurant to eat. They pay the bill and walk outside. They start to walk away from the shop. Wait 10 seconds. A waitress wearing high heels runs out from the restaurant shouting 'wait wait wait!' Group waits. She catches up in about 30 seconds, and says in a huff and puff: "I forgot to give these to you. These are VIP cards. If you come back next time, you will be able to enjoy 20% off the whole menu." Group says thank you and feels good about receiving discounts for the next visit. The first time i heard this happen, i felt quite normal. But the second and third times that i heard or had the actual experience, i considered the possibility that these restaurants forget to give out VIP cards on purpose. Which is not a bad business strategy, since by doing so, customers feel more valued by the restaurant - that a staff would give up herself to shout and chase after customers on high heels, just so that they can get a discount for the next visit. Not a bad business strategy also, considering that most of the waitresses just stand there and fiddle with pots. May as well send a few out to run around.

What amuses me the most for this case, is what the manager says when teaching the waitresses how to be effective in the waiting, shouting and chasing.

Top 10 Updates from Shanghai

2009-04-27T00:52:00.000-07:00

Updates after exactly 2 1/2 months:

1) I have not seen the following creatures: cockroach, ant, moth. Once, i saw a fly.

2) My English accent has changed from mildly Australian to occasionally American. Hopefully i will have control over this for different situations.

3) A 10" is now my preferred computer screen size. No more no less.

4) Now i am convinced that in Shanghai, you can say something like this in a Shanghainese accent: "Kan hao le di eeliwiaamumblemumble~" and people will think that you're all good. Seriously.

5) I notice that Shanghai young to middle-aged men look at me. Possible reasons:
> Shanghai men are more aware of their environment, and can easily pick out foreigners.
> Shanghai men sometimes do some things that makes them suspicious of people being suspicious of themselves - 心裡有鬼.
> Shanghai men just like to look at everything. Or, maybe that's true of all men.

Shanghai young to middle-aged woman look in my direction, but straight thru.

6) My pants are falling down. My shorts are falling down. But i am still the same weight! Possible explanations:
> My waist meats have moved down to my butt. So when i put on my pants, they get stretched.
> Exchanged unwanted fats for muscles.
> Over here, clothes expand in the wash.

Actually, i'm not so sure why most people here are skinny-sized, even though the food is generally oily.

7) I have been keeping my upper body muscles fit by washing and drying socks, undies, shirts, and pants by hand. It is great exercise and the muscle build up makes me want to fight someone.

8) Recently, I have been bumping into 1 or 2 'hi, bye' people. When i see them, i say 'hi', and then they say 'okay bye see you next time'. It's very strange because it doesn't make sense. If the next conversation i have with them is the same 'hi' and 'bye', then what is the point of 'see you next time'? No one can have many friends, because friendships need time to establish.

9) Texts here cost 2 Australian cents. So my text messaging speed is up.

10) I'm missing my die-hard buddies. I think of you once a day.

Chinese A-Z (3)

2009-04-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

- - UPDATED - -

'N' stands for Chinese 'No' Signs

For a sign to say "do not" something, usually means that the something is done very often. The sign acts as a reminder to people who do the bad act.

"Don't J-walk" / "Don't sabotage public property"

"Don't smoke in public areas" / "Don't spit on the floor"

"Respect old, love young, beautiful world" / "Sacrifice walks with me" / "Protect the environment"

There is another one which says: "送一片真情" ("Give a true heartfelt action"). Hahaha.

'O' stands for Chinese Old Man Park Karaoke

Karaoke station set up in a park for elderly people.

These men have vintage voices!

'P' stands for Chinese Parental Lock-Down

At a Chinese migrant school - school kids' parents locked down until 2:30pm on a Friday afternoon.

'Q' stands for Chinese Quarrellers

A quarrel starts from a trivial matter, and the matter being: 'Your tricycle cart can get through the metal pole barriers without banging'. Follow the story.

"Your tricycle cart can get thru the metal pole barriers without banging"

"No, the metal poles are too narrow."

"Get off. Let me show you how to do it."

Then this...

"Na wo qi gei ni kan ke yi ba?" Tussle tussle tussle. Ha.ha.ha.ha.

'R' stands for Chinese Rubbish Collectors

I'm quite sure that the people in white work for the restaurant next door.

At national park - uncle collecting rubbish with bare hands

'S' stands for Chinese Sticky Beaks

Police catch an illegal tricycle operator. A crowd gathers after 15 minutes of verbal exchange with the result of: the tricycle operator strongly refusing to go to the police station. Police used no force.

I have found Chinese people to be exactly like the people in Chinese ancient TV dramas, where when an argument, fight, or something unusual happens, people would make a encircle the situation and just stand there to watch. And throw in a few comments here and there as well! Such as: "Zhe ge ren ming ming bu dui" or "Zhen mei li mao" or "Dui, da ta! Da ta!" Maybe not the last one, but people love to gather to watch a good show. I like this characteristic. It's called "being open about interests".

'T' stands for Traditional Chinese Cat

At Yu Yuan, a famous garden in Shanghai - a Korean tour guide called this cat a "Traditional Chinese Cat", at which the Korean tourists ran up to the cat with "aaah aaah"s to take photos. For your information, this is an ordinary Chinese cat.

'U' stands for Chinese Upgrade Needer

A crowd gather on Nanjing East St outside Rolex to listen to a brilliant saxophonist playing on the balcony. Some people show appreciation, while others take out mobile phones and cameras to capture the music.

Hahahaha (!!!) at older uncle's video recording device.

'V' stands for Chinese Variety of Fishes

At a Japanese fish restaurant ("魚" means fish)

'W' stands for Chinese Warning Notices

No translation required. The basic message is to carry bags on the store side of the street while walking on the foot path.

'Y' stands for Chinese Youth Communism Uprising

Young Leader leads fellow grade two students in disciplinary exercises.

Observe the speed and ease of how the words roll off the tongues.

'Z' stands for Chinese Zoo

Entrance of a Chinese zoo.

The conversation at the ticket counter as below:

Sam: Ni men you shen me dong wu? (What animals do you have?)

Reception: Ni yao kan shen me dong wu? (Which animals do you want to see?)
Sam: You shen me dong wu? (What do you have to show?)
Reception: Hen duo zhong… li mian dou you. (Many types... we have all the animals)

Sam: (Face)

They had every animal in the zoo(!!)? I thought that was cute, because i was thinking of one of those big and slow-moving types.

Wish you enjoyed reading Sam's Chinese A-Z. There is much more content to write about. Visit me everyday.

Time for Stocktake

2009-04-11T09:03:00.000-07:00

It has been 2 months, that's 60 days, since coming to Shanghai.

And now is the time to give a brief update of (20) of my current situation:

1. I now dislike oily foods, and fried foods. Which includes the street foods, and most Chinese restaurants.
2. I am currently 72kg, which is my weight 2 months ago.
3. I now do not take for granted the privacy i have in my own room back at home.
4. I now get over relationship problems easier, even if the relationship still has a problem.
5. I now understand that it is possible to build a good and strong friendship within 1 to 2 days.
6. Girls are not attractive here in Shanghai. Not even physically. (To me, for a relationship)
7. I miss my Church in Melbourne.
8. The only meal i have cooked is a dish for a potluck party.
9. I like Korean ballad music (slow and high, sung by guys).
10. I am now against piracy, because if i produced CDs or DVDs, i would want people to pay money for them.
11. I listen to Mike Bickle, Bill Johnson, Zhang Xiu Qin and Jason Westerfield to sleep. To be honest, Jason Westerfield is the only that puts me to sleep, because he speaks so rapidly.
12. I now have a new like for mixed accents between 2 or more nationalities.
13. The dormitory is very quiet. Do not think that there is a party here every night.
14. I love Chinese karaoke. How hard it is to find someone who knows and sings old --> modern Chinese songs.
15. I have found 'favourites'.
16. Have been to Shao Xing and Suzhou. I am not big on visiting places in China.
17. Have met lots of people. A percentage of whom i call friends.
18. Food further slips in its hold on my life, and has dropped significantly on my 'pleasures list'.
19. I have found a cell group full of great people.
20. I have found an underground Church to attend. Exciting.

If i have left out anything, please let me know. I will update you~!

Chinese A-Z (2)

2009-04-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

'I' stands for Chinese Idle Waitresses

View of a Chinese food court.

'J' stands for Chinese Jam Exercisers

Drivers take a walk while roads jam on Chinese Qing Ming holiday weekend.

Grandma takes opportunity to exercises in traffic jam.

'K' stands for Chinese Korean Church

Big Korean Church - 4 services a day. Translation service for Chinese, English and Japanese.

Newcomers are asked to stand up, are given a rose, and receive a cordial welcome song. The more this song was stuck in my head during the week, the more i wanted to go back to the Church. The actions in the 2nd last bar of the song are most warm and lovely.

I found this particular leader at the front to be very energetic, has a high-pitched voice, and talks a LOT. The kids must enjoy this. Sunday school in a Korean Church is very refreshing and exciting!

'L' stands for Chinese Loaders

There's something about Chinese people and carrying loads on their non-motorized bikes.

"The bigger the load, the less trips i'll have to make." Hahaha.

'M' stands for Chinese Market Escorters

At any given time, there were 1-3 market escorters 'escorting' us. Escorters are not easy to identify with one glance. Therefore there must have been many of them inside the shopping centre.

Escorter either calls for backup or arrangements to be made up ahead in the shopping complex.

Market escorter disguised as pedestrian, identified!~

Chinese A-Z (1)

2009-04-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

Throughout A-Z, you will hopefully be able to gain insight into the environment and culture and general feel of China as a bonus. I hope you enjoy. There may be second rounds.

'A' stands for Chinese Ambitious Recruiter

Recruiting 20 beauticians, 15 barbers, 10 stylists, etc!

'B' stands for Chinese Basketball Competition

Crowd shot.

'C' stands for Chinese Cracked Melon Seed Eater

Storekeeper eats cracked melon seed in clothing market.

'D' stands for Chinese Dining Hall

Many of these available on campus - Though -> Lunchtime over by 12:00pm || Dinner time over by 6:00pm

'E' stands for Chinese Etiquette

Explanation required: Abe was reading the description of the lake (to the right), and red jacket lady shoves in front of him to take a photo. HAHAHA

'F' stands for Chinese Fruit Seller

Fruit seller sells pineapple and watermelon for 1 kuai a stick.

'G' stands for Chinese Grade 1 Book

Back of workbook includes rules outlining the '2 musts', '2 must nots', '4 shoulds' and '4 should nots'. Highlight: "(1) Do not drink tap water (2) Do not eat unclean foods (3) Do not spit (4) Do not throw fruit skins carelessly"

'H' stands for Chinese History Preservation

In Yu Yuan gardens. The sign says: "Take good care of cultural relic. Don't climb up an antique." Which makes perfect grammatical sense~

Preliminary Chinese A-Z

2009-03-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

Never before, have i been to a place where the environmental conditions are so fine. If a certain environmental condition is hot and smelly, it is okay. If a certain environmental condition is cold and not smelly, it is okay also.

But, when the environmental condition is cold and smelly, it is perfect. Because (1) it is impossible to sweat, and (2) if for some reason that i do smell of something, i would blend perfectly into the environment.

I've noticed that Chinese students like to start any sentence with: "Hmm...actually," for any answer that requires a bit of thinking, which is very predictable.

Anyway, here's a view of the Chinese stuents' dormitory room.

In one dormitory building, there are about 400 students on 7 levels. Each level has one toilet, and each building has one bathroom! Each bathroom has about 20 spots for a shower, and it is PUBLIC! That is very off-putting for having a shower, wouldn't you say so?

Introduction: Three Chinese Counsels

2009-03-21T18:45:00.000-07:00

Before i came to Shanghai, i was given three warnings by my parents.

1) Shanghai girls are 利害 (poweful), and dangerous.
2) Traffic is very unruly so be careful when taking taxis and crossing roads.
3) Thieves are out and about, so watch out for belonging takers and always be alert to what the surrounding people are doing.

Not true, not true, and not true.

Firstly, Shanghai girls in my University are shy, studious and conservative. For the ones who are not shy, studious or conservative, their 利害 (power) comes in the form of speaking very loudly. So, you would have a lovely, pretty girl at the checkout counter. All lovely and pretty until she tells you total amount, and gives you a big fright.

Traffic is extremely safe in Shanghai. Although there are no rules, there are consequences for getting involved in an accident. So, as a pedestrian, you can expect to not be hit by a car, because cars expect by default, that people cross streets without adhering to standard traffic rules. Very safe.

Some Europeans tell me that Shanghai is probably one of the safest large cities they have been to. Violent activities are not common because security guards are cheap to hire, therefore they are, everywhere. So far, i have not lost anything to theft.

Here's a photo introduction to where i live. All the photos here are taken on my way back to the foreign students dormitory from class. In order.

Row of uni shops in foreground. Foreign Students Dormitory in the very background.

"Security guards" use big umbrella to keep out the sun. They're not really securing anything, it's really just for looks.

Foreign students dormitory side view.

Main entrance to the dormitory, which consists of 23 floors, and holds 800+ students. If you look carefully, you can see more 'security guards', who ask for students' dormitory cards when they go in.

Lobby - the place to be. Guards secure the entrance 24 hours a day. When coming back at 4am, you can see them fast asleep on tables that they drag closer to the door.

Rooms. The big gap in the middle is where the elevators are.

Our clean room + a roommate who keeps it very clean. This is a photo after 1.5 months. Amazed?

This is residence cat. He's my cat buddy, who can be found outside the dormitory main entrance most of the time. And most of the time, he finds the bike with the softest seat to sleep on. How nice.

I have decided to spend some time talking about some Chinese things via a 'Chinese A-Z', which takes one letter of the alphabet at a time and making a noun out of it with the word Chinese in front. e.g. "Chinese old ladies" for the letter O.

Look out for that! Accompanying photos available!

Shanghai: First Impressions First

2009-03-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

Here in Shanghai, anything random can happen at anytime, to, on, or of anybody.
When it happens, it will usually happen really quick.
And after it happens, the persons who saw it happen will say: "What!! Was. That??" As everything goes back to normal again.

Abe has come to this place. And in one day, he had been inspired to be a short film producer. Of a certain topic known as: "Weird China".

I had agreed to write a blog for my university in melbourne about my experiences in China. And i have started. But, i have one difficulty. And that is, finding something really positive about China to write about after writing consecutive stories about some really unneat, embarrassing, uncivilized, Chinese happenings.

But, this current blog is not for the university, so i can write about anything, i like.
I hope to see you soon.

Sam

p.s. there are still some totally, positively funny things about the Chinese, be assured.